I'm Sorry
by WhitRiddle22
Summary: Lily and James both become head boy/girl, but this is a problem in Lily's eyes. How will she deal with a whole year of living, working with him, and putting up with his and the other marauders' antics? Read to find out! Rated M for later chapters!
1. ATypical Train Ride

A/N: Hey guys, this is my debut story on here so let me know what ya think! I promise it gets better in later chapters. Reviews, criticism, or any suggestions you have are GREATLY appreciated! Thanks guys! ENJOY!

/

'Why am I nervous? It's just the train ride back to school, no not school, back home. The only home I've ever known. ' She looked in the mirror again at her reflection, making sure she had chosen the right outfit for this first day. Her scarlet locks were distinct against the white and blue striped tank she had chosen. Slipping on her shorts and flip flops, she gathered her trunk and headed out the door. She only lived a mile or so from the train station and it had come naturally that she walk there every time she went to get on the train, you see, her sister needed her parents to do things for her and they didn't have time for Lily, Petunia made sure of that. It was about a 15 minute walk, and while she walked, she pondered her thoughts on why she was so nervous to come back this last year.

She approached the train station and looked through the crowd to see if she could find her best friend, Fess. Just as she had given up, she got pummeled to the ground, by none other than the very person she had been looking for.

"Lils! Ok, I've been looking for you for the past…. Well, forever. What took you so long, Oh wait, don't tell me. Little miss perfect had to have the parents drive her to her engagement party with her pig of a boyfriend." Fess said the last part in a snotty voice, talking through her nose.

Lily laughed as she got up from the ground. "Well of course, don't you know she made mom take her shopping to find the perrrrrfect dress for this occasion."

"What dress is perfect for her? She looks like a horse" They both laughed at this and headed for the platform.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got head girl." Lily said enthusiastically.

"Wow, really? That's awesome! This should be a verrryyy interesting year." Fess replied, smirking.

"Why is that?" Lily said wearily.

"Oh, you'll see." Fess started smirking like she did when she knew something Lily didn't.

"Um, no. Tell me now! Wait" Lily stopped in her tracks. They had reached the platform and were about to get on the train as Fess turned around to look at Lily's shocked face. "You've got to be joking." Lily said almost in a whisper.

"Cousin!" said a voice behind Fess. It was none other than the infamous James Potter.

"Cousin!" Fess said hugging her cousin. "How was summer?" She said with a grin.

"Well let's see, pranks, reading, pranks, hanging out with the guys, oh yeah and writing you of course!" He said laughing. His best friend Sirius came up beside him.

"Hey guys, long time no see. What do you say we get on this train?" He said. James followed Sirius and Remus onto the train, without a word said to Lily.

"Um, Lils, you coming? Or you going to stand there all day and not get on the train?" Fess asked her. Lily had not moved since the Marauders came up and talked to Fess.

"He's.. he's… wait. He didn't say anything to me." Lily said coming out of her daze.

"Maybe he's realized you won't go out with him and is growing up. Come on, lets go get a seat." Fess said climbing onto the train. Lily followed her down to the very last compartment, which happened to be the only empty one. James had tried to get them to sit with them, but Lily wanted to talk to Fess. Fess threw herself onto the long chair in the compartment, laying down and taking out a magazine from her bag. Lily shut the door and turned around with a furious look on her face.

"Talk, scream, shout, let it out" Fess said nonchalantly.

Lily screamed, at the top of her lungs, and fell to her knees on the compartment floor.

"Well Lily, I think there's a few people in America who didn't hear you, try again." Fess replied, not even looking up from her magazine. Lily pounded the floor with her fist.

"Breathe. In, 1, 2, 3, 4. And out, 5, 6, 7, 8" Fess said. She was used to Lily's rantings about her cousin by now that they had devised a plan to calm her temper down.

Lily breathed like Fess said and got up off the floor. Sitting in the seat across from Fess she buried her head in her hands.

"The nerve! How the hell did he get head boy? What is the idiot of a man we call headmaster thinking? Is he crazy? Does he want me to kill myself? I just don't understand." Lily said

"Maybe he's thinking that you will keep him in line more than his friends will. I think there's only about 3 people James listens to, and the main one is you. He'd jump off a cliff if he thought you really meant it." Fess told her.

"Then why hasn't he?"

"Lils, think. What would you do if he was dead? You'd be a fly on the wall. No one to compete against in school, no one to yell at, and more importantly, no one that cares about you like that, that much." Fess explained.

Lily thought about this for a minute. It was true, she would be lost if James Potter was not in her life. 'Wait, what the hell are you thinking, you should jump for joy if he was gone.' She mentally hit herself for even thinking such thoughts. Then the compartment door opened, it was James.

"Evans, were needed in the prefect compartment. Something about explaining what the prefects are to do and such." He said this and left. 'Wow, maybe Fess is right, maybe he is growing up. No, this is Potter, he doesn't know the meaning.' Lily thought and followed him out of the compartment, leaving Fess to her magazine.

When she got to the compartment, she found James already explaining to the prefects their duties. She sat down at the opposite end and let him work. He was really taking this seriously, and he explained everything so well, so delicate. He talked with his hands, those hands, those hands that were the type of hands you wanted all over you. Lily found herself staring at his arms, for he had on a tight fitting shirt that his muscles shown right through. 'Thank Merlin for quidditch.' She thought. 'Whoa, what did I just say?' She shook her head and went to looking at the floor.

James talked to the prefects about all the things he had learned from Moony and Dumbledore. He wanted to impress Lily without seeming like he was trying to impress her. Over the summer, he had thought a lot about her. About how much he loved her, and about what she said to him every time he made her mad. He was going to try to change, show her he could be different, the guy she wanted him to be. Then and only then, would he ask her out. While explaining, he noticed her walk into the room, but didn't want to make it obvious so he kept talking. Every now and then he would glance her way. Once he swore he saw her staring at him, then she shook her head, so he didn't know what to make of it. By now he was finished explaining everything and told the prefects just to go monitor the compartments, make sure no mischief was going on.

He was done talking. Lily looked up from her hands. She didn't want to be alone with him, for fear of yelling, or something worse.

"Nicely done Potter." She said.

"Thank you. How was your summer?" He asked.

'Potter? Asking about my summer? Ok, this is weird.' She thought. "It was ok, just getting ready for my sister's wedding."

"Oh, when is that?"

"Its in October, I wasn't invited." Why was she telling him this? She mentally slapped herself.

"Not invited? To you own sister's wedding? Wow, what a prick."

"your one to talk." Lily said.

'Here it comes' James thought. "What do you mean?"

"Coming back to school and not talking to me, trying to make me think you've grown up some, Potter you make me sick. What are you trying to pull anyway?" She said sternly.

He looked at her shocked. "I'm not trying to pull anything. I am trying to change. I have changed." Wrong thing to say.

"You? Potter? Changed? No, you cant change. You're an arrogant prick. You couldn't change if you wanted to. I see right through your little charade. Trying to make me fall for you because you think you can change. You're as bad as Snape! Change my ass! You're still the same arrogant, pig-headed, jerk who has asked me out everyday for the past 6 years. People like you cant change. Ill bet you'll have 3 girls in your bedroom tonight just like you always do. Don't try to change for me Potter, it wont work. And who the hell had the bright idea of giving head boy to you! A jerk like you cant handle the responsibilities! You make me sick Potter!" Lily was red and crying by now. She didn't know why she was crying, or why she was even yelling at him. Seeing the hurt look on his face, she walked out of the compartment without another word.

James slumped down in the chair, putting his head in his hands. The compartment door opened.

"James, you ok?" Fess asked sitting beside him.

"Yea, sure." He didn't even look up.

"Have you seen Lils? I figured she would still be back here, we're almost at the school."

She heard a sniff. "James, look at me. What. Is. Wrong."

He turned to her and she saw a small tear come down his face. He quickly wiped it, hoping she hadn't seen. "What the hell did she say to you? She never makes you cry." Fess said quickly.

"She told me I could never change and that I was the same arrogant bastard I had always been. Fess, I swear, I didn't do anything. All I did was ask how her summer was. I mean, I ignored her today in hope that she would see that I didn't need to ask her out all the time and then when I do talk to her she yells at me out of spite. I don't even think she knew why she was yelling." He explained.

"Well, if I know Lily, she didn't know how to take the new, improved James H. Potter. Trust me, you've changed. I wouldn't lie to you. And you know that. I tell you when you're being an arrogant ass. She will realize that she hurt you. I don't think she ever realized that she may have hurt you in the past, but there's nothing I cant handle." She said with a wink to James.

He laughed. "If there is one thing you are good for, it's a laugh."

"Ha, don't make me start singing!" Fess said standing.

"No!" James said laughing.

She started singing. Its not that Fess had a bad voice, she actually really could sing, she just loved doing it entirely too much. But only in front of close friends.

She pulled her Ipod out of her pocket and then put a loud charm on it so that James could hear the music as well. "So what are we singing? Slow? Fast? Old?"

"Hmm, I think I-"

"Got it!" Just as she started to sing, the compartment door opened again, Sirius this time.

"Prongs, mate, where have you been? Step into my office." Sirius said, completely ignoring Fess and talking to James. "Prongs, are you coming?" he asked again.

"Sorry mate, I'm still talking to Fess. I'll meet you later." James said seeing Fess's hurt face.

"oh, right. Later then." At that he left.

"You have got to be freaking kidding me!" Fess yelled throwing herself on the floor. James laughed.

"Kill me now, here, just do it." Fess said handing James her wand. He laughed.

"What's so funny? You want me to start laughing when Lily ignores you? Wait, maybe you ignoring her will drive her as crazy as he drives me." She said sitting up.

"Fess, have you ever looked at the girls he dates? Or screws? Or actually notices for that matter?" James asked.

"Yea sure, big-boobed bimbos, that dress in their underwear at all times. Well, maybe not all of them are idiots, there were a few smart ones in there that he got hold of" She said without giving a second thought.

"Well maybe you should get implants and start dressing in your underwear." Fess hit his arm at this.

"All I'm saying is, unless you make him notice you, he's not going to know you as anything else other than my cousin. Show him how much fun you can be. You know whenever he's around you don't joke or sing or dance or anything. And that's what makes you so much fun. Just break out in song in the middle of the great hall or something. Wear a mini skirt and not sweat pants. Do something drastic." James said.

"Drastic. Yeah, ok. I think I can do that. What about you? How are you going to make the future Mrs. Potter melt?"

"Ignore her? And walk away if she starts yelling at me. Do what Sirius does to you. That should work." James said shrugging.

"All right sparky, here's the deal. If you want to court the little lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter, do ya got it?" Fess joked, putting on her sunglasses and mimicking a scene from Aladdin. James burst out laughing.

"What. Was. That?" he said in between breaths.

"Aladdin! The Genie! Come on James!" He laughed even harder when she said this.

"Wow, and that is why you are the best person to talk to when I am down." He laughed. The train had stopped by now and it was time for James to find Lily so they could do their head boy/girl duties.

"Later?" James asked.

"Later, definitely." Fess said as she herself got off the train and headed to the carriages.

James eventually found Lily trying to sort out the first years and lead them to the boats.

"James you could help. They are scared to death." She said sternly to him.

Sighing, he turned and rounded up some first years and took them to the boats, where he met Hagrid. He greeted him and then turned back to get the next group. After about 10 minutes, all the first years were in the boats and Lily and James were left to get their own carriage up to the castle.

They walked in silence, got into the carriage in silence, and started the ride in silence. It was Lily who broke it.

"Potter, why aren't you talking to me?" she asked.

"Because you don't want me to." He looked at the lake, trying to ignore her.

"I never said that." She said innocently.

"Really? Well then why have you been telling me that you hoped I died everyday for the past 6 years then for? Because I kind of got the impression that you hated me."

"I don't hate you, you're just annoying."

"Which is precisely why I am not talking to you." They were almost to the castle now.

"Potter, we are head boy and girl, we have to talk."

"Ok, we can talk about business. That's it. I don't want to bother you any more than I need to."

"Why?" Lily asked. It was about the stupidest question she had ever asked.

"Why? Why Lily? Oh I don't know, maybe to stop our fighting and maybe have a peace between us. Dammit Lily, you don't understand what you do to me. You yell at me to leave you the hell alone. Never talk to you again. And when I don't talk to you, you wonder why. Well it must be a game to me right? No, it isn't a game to me. You aren't a game to me. You just- you don't understand what its like. You make me feel like a ball and you're just tossing me in the air, playing with me. I hear that you hate me every time we fight, then you're going to say that you don't hate me? Which is it Evans? Because from where I'm standing, I'm confused as hell." He yelled this at her, getting frustrated.

Sniff. "Leave me alone." She whispered, looking up at him. He had made her cry again. She rushed out of the carriage before he could say anything to her. Kicking himself, he walked up to the great hall to greet the rest of his friends.

A/N: Please R/R! Thanks!


	2. Changing

A/N: If you've read the story before, don't be alarmed that there are fewer chapters today than yesterday! lol, i combined a few of them! Enjoy! Please review! thanks!

"Hey, I just learned that I have my own dorm. Want to go check it out before the marauders trash it?" Lily asked Fess.

"Sure! Whoa, wait, you and James, sharing a dorm? Yea, somebody's going to die this year." Fess said.

"Ya think?" Lily said sarcastically and laughed. They walked up to the Head's common room, it was just down the hall from Gryffindor tower.

"Password?" The knight asked.

"Flubberworm" Lily said. At this the door swung open and revealed a common room, not so different than their original common room. Tapestries were hung, along with a fireplace and a large comfy couch. There was a large table in the corner of the room and 3 armchairs scattered around the room.

"Wow, this is great!" Lily exclaimed falling on the couch.

"Yeah, definitely. Let's go see your bedroom!" Fess said and they both ran up the stairs to her bedroom. The room was a deep purple color, with white trim. The furniture was a dark brown mahogany, and it looked very elegant. The most exciting thing was a mirror that covered her entire closet and melted away when she wanted to get into to it.

"Ok, this is definitely the coolest. Looks like the house elves have already put your stuff up for you." Fess said. They heard the door open downstairs and the marauders come pouring in, yelling.

"Whoa, Prongs, nice place man. Mind if I move in?" Sirius said falling into the couch.

"Yeah it is nice, and no you cannot move in." James said laughing.

The girls leaned against the door to hear what the marauders were saying.

"No, he is not moving in, I don't know if I can handle Potter, let alone two of them." Lily whispered.

"Hey, want to help me with something?" Fess whispered.

"Sure, what?"

"Come with me" Fess said and they both went into the bathroom to start Fess's drastic change.

"Wow, ok Fess. I thought you looked hot before. Black will fall to the floor if he sees you now." Lily exclaimed as she stepped back to look at her.

"You think? It isn't too much?" Fess asked. Her thick, long orange hair (Lily's was a deeper shade of red, Fess's was like Ron Weasley orange) had now been transformed. It was now cut in a pixie bob. Talk about drastic. Her bangs swooped into her face as the rest was cut in a shag. Think demi moore in that military movie, just shaggier. The long hair no longer just hung over her cut body. She had a tennis players body, because of course she played quidditch and worked out with James as much as she could. She had been the chubby kid that everyone thought of as a friend for a long time, but in the past two years her body had transformed.

"No way, well it is a bit drastic but, its hot. I couldn't pull it off, but you can. You're more rock and roll than me." Lily told her.

"Ha, yea I guess I am. He's going to drop dead." Fess said looking in the mirror one last time.

James woke up the next morning wondering where Lily had been the whole night. He hadn't seen her, and hadn't had the guts to knock on her door and see if she was there. The rest of the marauders had left around 2 in the morning. 'Maybe she slept in her old room with Fess.' He thought. He got up, took a shower, and headed down to meet the guys for breakfast. Still not seeing either of the girls.

"Hey guys, you seen the girls?" James asked.

"-ho?" Sirius asked through bites of sausage.

"Disgusting Padfoot, really disgusting. Moony, you seen them?" James asked.

"No, not today. Weird, they're usually the first ones up. Or atleast Lily is dragging Fess down the stairs to be the first ones. You going to sit down Prongs?" Remus said, digging into his pancakes.

"Yeah, so wha-" James had went to sit down but was unable to by the site he saw coming through the door. He nugged Sirius. Turning around, Sirius spit all of his food out into his plate, almost choking on it.

Fess and Lily had walked through the door, and apparently, Fess had given Lily a little more confidence also. Under their robes, they had both shortened the black skirts they always had to wear. Lily had her white shirt button-up, but less buttoned than usual. Fess had hers open to a gold tank that showed off her curves. She had played up her hair, making it wild and messy, along with playing up her make-up. Lily's loose curls were tighter than usual and she had put a green headband loosely in her hair, where her bangs and front hair still hung over her shoulders.

"Do we look that freakish?" Fess asked Lily. They both started laughing when they saw the marauders.

"Hey guys" Fess said.

"Drastic huh?" James said grinning. Fess winked at him. They sat down across from the marauders and started eating. Sirius hadn't started back eating yet, he was still in a state of shock.

"Wow, I think it's a record. Black not eating for a full minute." Fess said helping herself to the pancakes.

This seemed to snap him back to life. 'Who is this girl? Surely its not Fess. Fess is chubby and has long ratty orange hair. No way.' Sirius thought.

"Oh yeah, did we get our schedules yet?" Lily asked Remus.

"No, not yet. Minnie should be around soon." Remus replied.

"Why do you guys call her Minnie?" Fess asked.

"Because her name is Minerva and we are just too lazy to say the whole name." James said laughing.

James and Lily locked eyes for a moment, then they both quickly looked away. Professor McGonagall came by and gave them their class schedules.

"Ok, who's got Defense first thing this morning?" Fess asked. Everyone had defense first thing that morning.

"Well what do you say we get going then? Fess. Talk. Now." James said. They walked out of the great hall together, not waiting on the others.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Dressing Lily like that? Trying to kill me?" James said as they walked down the hall. Fess started laughing.

"Her idea" She said giving him a smirk. He raised his eyebrows.

"Her- what? She just didn't want to be outdone by you. That's all it is." He convinced himself.

"Keep telling yourself that. She told me about what you said to her. I think it may have gotten thru to her a little bit. She thinks you're just going to make her another notch on your bedpost." Fess explained as they climbed the stairs.

"What? How could she think that? She should know better! I wouldn't have spent so long chasing her if that's all she was! I have our kids names picked out for crying out loud! How the hell could she think that?" He was frantic.

"Calm down. I think I may have somewhat convinced her that you really liked her and wouldn't do that to her. What are the kids names?" Fess asked, somewhat amused.

"Harry James and- wait, you are making fun of me!"

"No way, I would never make fun of THE James Potter!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you wouldn't. By the way, nice way to shut Padfoot up. I've never seen him so quiet, especially when there's food on the table." They both started laughing.

"Yes, that was hilarious. He probably thinks im like a new student or something. No way could I be your chubby cousin. " Fess said as they entered the classroom. They took their seats and waited on the others to join them.

Sirius took his usual seat with James as Lily sat with Fess, this left Remus and Peter to sit behind James and Sirius.

"Dude, is that your cousin?" Sirius whispered to James.

"Yeah, and she has a name. Fess" James whispered back.

"You sure that's your cousin? She looks completely different."

"Maybe if you had noticed her before, she wouldn't look so different.

/*`*/

Weeks passed slowly at Hogwarts, things had not changed, even though it was their seventh year. They still had LOADS of homework, but a few odd things were happening. James still ignored Lily, he even went out of his way to avoid her at night when they were both in the dorm. He always talked to Fess, but failed to talk to Lily. This was bothering her.

'What have I done? I don't understand why he's not talking to me. It's not fun for him to ignore me. It isn't fair. How could he just drop me like this? He hasn't went a day without talking to me before and now he's gone a full two weeks without much more than a hello? I want him to talk to me! It is driving me insane! I think I just want to- wait, no I cant think like that. I have to get to potions.' Lily thought as she walked down the hallway to Professor Slughorn's class. She sat down in her regular seat beside Fess and took out her book.

"Alright Lils?" Fess asked her, seeing the worried look on her face.

"Potter." Lily said simply.

"What did he do? I thought he wasn't talking to you" Fess said inquisitively.

"That's the problem. It's so weird not talking to him. I even miss fighting with him. What's wrong with me? I should be jumping for joy." Lily told her.

"Wow. I never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth." Fess stared at her desk with a shocked look.

"Please don't tell him. He might get a big head again." Lily begged.

"Don't worry, I'm not. This is something you need to do yourself. Just talk to him, like tonight in the common room or something. Make a gesture instead of waiting on him to do it."

"Why don't you listen to your own advice?" Lily joked, smiling.

"That…. Is an excellent question." Fess said mocking Wilbur from Meet the Robinsons. It was her all-time favorite quote. They both laughed as Professor Slughorn entered the classroom and began the class. After class, they were done for the day. They ate dinner, which was uneventful. The marauders weren't even there.

"That was weird. When has Black ever missed a meal?" Fess said as they walked back up to the head's common room.

"Yeah, since when has any of them missed a meal?" Lily asked. They walked in to the common room and took seats near the fire. They studied about an hour before they were interrupted by the marauders. They came in yelling, laughing, just like always.

"Wow. Hey girls. How are things?" Remus said as they walked in and joined them by the fire.

"Great, if you call doing a stupid transfiguration essay great. Don't you want to write it for me?" Fess joked

"Nah, think I'll pass on that one. When's that due?" he asked

"On Thursday" Lily answered, eyeing James. He had sat across from her in the armchair opposite her.

"Great. Just great. Write it for me Prongs?" Sirius said, sitting between Fess and Remus.

"I don't think so Padfoot. I was going to ask Evans to write mine." He added a wink to this last bit. 'Oh no, he winked at me. Breathe 1, 2, 3, 4…' Lily thought to get her breathing back to normal.

"No, I'm having enough trouble of my own to do anyone else's. I could help you though." She said without realizing what she had just said. Everyone stared at her, then she picked up what she said.

"I mean, help any of you that need help. What were you guys up to today? You weren't at dinner" She said in a complete rush, embarrassed.

Remus was the first to recover. "Oh, well, you know us. Never in the proper place at the right time, always rebelling" he explained, skipping over words and using his hands, which he never did.

"Riiggghhhtt. Wow, it's getting late. I think I'm going to turn in. See you guys tomorrow" Fess said. She turned to Lily so no one could see her and mouthed: 'Talk to him.' Lily nodded her head.

"Yeah come on Padfoot, Wormtail. It is getting late and the later we stay, the later Prongs has to stay up, and he looks pretty bushed. Let's go guys" Remus said getting up.

"No! I don't want to go! I want to stay with Prongs! I am deprived on Prongs-time!" Sirius said begging.

"Nah, Padfoot, you need sleep too. Were getting up early in the morning, remember?" James said standing up.

"Yeah Padfoot, let's go. Night Lily" Remus said dragging Sirius by his collar out of the door. James and Lily stood in silence for a moment. Lily was the first to speak.

"So, how is everything?" She asked shyly, making sure not to look up at him, she stared at the fire.

"Good, if I can get through the papers without getting carpel-tunnel" he joked, hoping to her atleast a laugh out of her. Oh how he missed her smile.

She smiled and softly laughed, "Yes, that would be amazing." She finally looked up at his face smiling. He had waited for her to look at him like that his entire life, but he didn't want to ruin it. He turned to walk up the stairs.

"Goodnight Lily. See you tomorrow"

"Goodnight…..James" she said this last part so that only she could hear it, or so she thought. James stopped at the top of the stairs when he heard his first name. He wanted her to use it everyday. He turned to say something but she had already rushed up the stairs to her own room.

James laid there for a good two hours, tossing and turning. He was not able to go to sleep. He couldn't get his mind off of the fact that she had called him James. Giving up, he walked down to the common room and sat at the desk in the corner.

Lily could not sleep either, she could do nothing but think about the way he looked at her before he went up the stairs, she had wanted to melt in his arms. She grabbed her journal and walked downstairs to take a seat infront of the fire.

He saw her come down the stairs, and not notice him sitting in the corner. She sat infront of the fire, her red hair glowing. Taking out a notebook, she started writing furiously. Lily could not stop writing, she poured all of her thoughts into that notebook.

_Why did he look at me like that? Does he really care about me? Am I not just another girl that he will be with and then dump when another challenge comes into play? He hasn't been with a single girl all year! What does that prove? That he could stay in a relationship? No, he's not any better than he was last year, or the year before that. Then why am I questioning his motives? Why am I resisting? Well, he hasn't asked me out so I'm not resisting too much. But that smile, I just want to jump on him when he does that. It used to be the arrogant grin of his that sent me to yelling and screaming at him because he thought he could have me, but this smile was different. Genuine. Like-_

She heard a noise behind her and saw James sitting in the corner looking down at his paper.

"Potter?" She asked looking over to where he was.

"Oh, sorry Evans. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just go back to my room."

"No, it's ok. It's got to be cold over there, come sit over here" She said motioning to the chair. James tentatively got up and sat in the chair beside the fire.

"What are you writing?" he asked.

"I should ask you the same."

"Oh, well, it's nothing." He said quickly, pulling his papers closer to him

"No really, what is it? It cant be that bad."

"You'd laugh at me" he said softly.

"I promise I wont laugh. Come on."

James sighed and gave her his book. He was an artist. This surprised Lily to the utmost extreme. She had never thought that James Potter, Mr. popular-arrogant-quidditch king could ever do anything as great as this. She looked through the pages slowly. Most of them were of her. She stopped at one, she was sitting underneath the tree out beside the lake, a book in her hands. Every detail, every flaw was distinct in the sketch. She had no idea he knew her so well. As she continued, she noticed a shift in the way James was sitting.

" I'm sorry I drew you without you knowing. Some people get offensive about that stuff. Just let me hold it" James said quickly, shifting to get the book from her.

"What? No. I'm not done looking. James!" they were tugging the book between them now. Finally the pages turned to the page he had not wanted her to see. He saw this and shrank back into his chair, head in his hands. Lily gasped.

The sketch was excellent, beautiful, detailed, and precise. He had not forgotten to sketch a single flaw on her body. She was lying in a bed, with nothing on but a sheet covering her. The sketch was drawn as if he had done it while standing on the ceiling. Her eyes were so intense, she could have bored holes in the sky. Her hair lay around her head in a fan, while her arms were draped in different ways. One laying lightly on her forehead, the other laying straight on the bed, hand dangling off the side. One leg was bent up while the other was straight, as if trying to hide something. Lily looked at the picture, at the intensity of the sketch.

James was prepared for the worst. Prepared for the yelling, screaming, and possible slapping that may come from the red-headed wonder infront of him. It never came. Lily got up quietly and walked back up the stairs, not able to say anything.


	3. Playing With Your Food

"Lily-cakes! What is up? Looks like a great day! What- Lils? What's wrong?" Fess said the next morning at breakfast.

"I saw Potter's portfolio" Lily whispered, staring into her cereal.

"Oh. OH.. Well, that's interesting." Fess said. She was the only other person who knew that James was an artist.

"Yeah. But the thing is, I'm not mad. The sketch was about the best thing he's ever done. I didn't know he could be so creative, so intense. Do I really look like that? I mean, he drew me in such a way, I didn't know that's what I really looked like. It's like he brought out inner beauty and put it on paper. It was amazing." Lily said, not able to eat her food.

"Wow. Those words coming out of Lily Evans. So tell him."

"I couldn't do that. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm completely mad at him and just couldn't muster up enough words to yell at him last night so that's why I didn't say anything. " Seeing the look on Lily's face, she knew that she needed a break. "Come on, lets go down to the pitch."

They left the great hall and walked down to the quidditch pitch. It was little known that Lily liked to fly. She had started when Fess didn't have a partner to practice with for the quidditch team, and it had evolved from there. She loved playing seeker, she had even jinxed a golf ball to fly by itself, out of her reach. The thing she love the most about being seeker was the rush she got from diving and pulling up at the very last moment.

They got their brooms and set for the air. Flying always made both of them feel better. They got up there and didn't have a care in the world. They could get away from the fighting, the rumors, the classes, and any other thing that carried in their minds. Fess was a chaser on the quidditch team. She practiced whenever she could. Whenever her and James had free time, or she was at his house over the summer, they were always playing. James was seeker while Sirius was keeper. Sirius rarely practiced with James and Fess, he thought he was the best so he didn't have to practice.

Lily took a few dives, just to get into the feel of it. Fess was practicing her loops and dodges. Lily let her golf ball fly out way infront of her, then chased after it, full-speed. She was oblivious to her surroundings, flying as fast as she was. She was going so fast, she didn't even notice the fact that she was about to run into Fess. Bam! Collision. Both girls fell off their brooms and landed hard on the dirt.

"Ow! Shit!" Lily exclaimed.

"I think I broke my ass-bone" Fess said trying to sit up. No such luck.

"Oh Merlin are you serious?" Lily started dying laughing.

"It's not funny! I broke my ass!" Fess started laughing also. "Ok, it is kind of funny. But how the hell am I supposed to get to the hospital wing?"

"Fess? Evans? You girls ok?" They heard footsteps running across the pitch to them.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"Lily knocked us both off our brooms. Pretty funny actually." Fess said propping herself on her side.

"You ok? We're late for class" James said offering a hand to Lily.

"I'm fine, think I may have broken my wrist, but Fess on the other hand. I think her ass is broke." Lily said lightly.

"Wow. Are you kidding me? You're joking right?" Sirius said laughing.

"No she's not joking! I really think my ass is broke. Now could someone please help me to the hospital wing?" Fess said laughing.

"Yeah, come on." Sirius reached down to help Fess up. He had to pick her upper body up so that she would not have to use her lower muscles. She stood and tried to walk.

"Shit!" Fess exclaimed as she fell started to fall again. Sirius caught her in his arms. She had never been this close to him, and realized how good he smelled. Looking up, she thought she could have melted right there. He was looking at her with a concerned look in his eyes through his long wispy hair falling over his eyes.

"Careful there. I'll carry you, you can't walk." He said before scooping her up in his arms, careful not to hurt anything that was already hurt.

At the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey healed Lily with no problem. Fess, however, had to stay at the hospital wing for the remainder of the day to be sure that her bones had healed. Sirius, James, and Lily had to return to classes, but promised they would come back that night to make sure Madame Pomfrey let her out.

It was after dinner now, and Fess was getting quite anxious to get out of there. She looked up as the door to the infirmary opened, and a grinning James walked through the door.

"What are you on about?" she asked him.

"Oh nothing, maybe just the fact that I've spent the last hour getting stared at by the love of my life" he said, still grinning.

"James, you look like the chestershire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Are you sure she was staring at you and not the fly on the wall?" Fess loved joking at James when it involved Lily.

"Yes! Everytime I looked at her, she made sure to look away, or down at her paper."

"Maybe she was trying to do mimic your drawing skills"

"Oh. She told you about that? That's what I don't get, I was so ready for her to atleast yell at me last night. I was really prepared for her to slap me or hit me in the face, but she never did. She just got up and left the room. Then she stares at me all day in potions, and it just doesn't make sense. She probably hates me, again" he said this looking down at the floor.

"Talk to her"

"What? I couldn't do that, she'd for sure slap me, or worse"

"James, talk to her. If you have ever trusted me with anything else in your life, trust me now. Talk. To. Her."

"Ok. If you are sure. I guess I can talk to her on our patrol tonight. When are you getting out?"

"Should be not long from now. I can actually sit so, I should be good"

"Great! So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, definitely. And you better have lots to tell me!"

"I hope so. Thanks. Why don't you ever follow your own advice?"

"That's a conversation for another day. Now go."

He started laughing. "Ok, Goodnight Fess" He kissed her forehead and turned to leave.

"Goodnight and good luck!" She yelled back at him.

/

"Evans? It's our turn to patrol" James said tentatively to her. She was sitting at the desk in their common room doing her transfiguration paper.

"Oh, right. Sorry, just let me put this back in my room" She hurried up the stairs to put up her books, and then as she was walking out, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror. Her hair was frizzy from the stress of the day and she looked completely wasted. 'Oh no, this will not do.' She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and left her bangs out, then powdered her nose, so she wouldn't look so stressed. Checking herself one more time, she walked back down the stairs to James who was waiting on her. They started down their own hallway, in silence, and then continued around the castle. It was a large castle and they had to walk the whole of it, so they both figured they had plenty of time to talk.

The entire walk was silent, except for the occasional telling off of students to get back into bed, or give detention for being out after hours. They had finished their walk in the castle and now continued outside to patrol the grounds. The moon was shining high above them, it looked like a ghost on the lake. James noticed it was almost full, and he knew the weekend would be an eventful one. He smiled to himself, without realizing. Lily noticed.

"What's that smile for?" She asked.

"What? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about all the times the marauders and I have snuck out after hours to just sit out here, or to play quidditch." He replied

"Oh"

Silence. Then they both started talking at once.

"I'm sor-" Lily started.

"Look, I'm s-" James said also. "Sorry, you go first"

"Ok. I'm sorry about the other night. I just didn't know what to say. I shouldn't have said nothing, I know it probably confused the hell out of you. I was just in shock. I still am, but, oh no, I don't know how to say things like this. I don't know the last time I apologized to anyone, or even attempted to express what I was feeling at the moment." She was pacing back and forth by now, looking at the ground. "I just feel so weird because you aren't talking to me any, any at all. And I should be ecstatic about this, I really should. But some part of me just feels like I'm unimportant, like I'm not the girl I used to be. I want to know what I've done to not be worthy of your hello, why I'm not the girl you used to ask out all the time. I just-I don't know, I shouldn't be telling you this. I'm sorry." She said all this and started crying, and began to walk back towards the castle.

James grabbed her arm. "Lily, I-" he failed to muster words to say to her. He didn't know what to say. She was looking down at the ground, tears staining her face. He picked up her chin with his finger and made her look at him. Leaning in, he wanted to kiss her so badly. He didn't know if it was right, but he knew that she was leaning in too, licking her lips. They were centimeters from eachother now. Suddenly, Lily snapped back into reality. She backed up, and released her arm from his grasp, then ran back to the castle. James fell back onto the grass, wanting to kill himself.

/~**~/

Fess got out of the hospital wing around 11 p.m that night. All she had had to eat was the hospital food, and as hard as it is to believe food at Hogwarts was bad, this was bad. She didn't go to her dorm, she needed food, so she walked to the kitchens.

"Hi Thatcher!" Fess said to the house elf that greeted her.

"Miss Riddle! Lovely to see you! What can we get for you?" the small house elf asked.

"Well, what's fresh?" Fess asked inquisitively, looking over to the counter where the other house elves were cooking.

"Whatever you like. We can prepare whatever you want" the little elf said to her, awaiting her order.

"How about, macaroni and cheese!" Fess said excitedly.

"Of course!" the little house elf went back to the kitchen to prepare her food. Fess went to the back of the kitchen, where the tables were. It was a home-y feeling in the kitchen, she had always felt comfortable in there. People rarely came in there, and it wasn't that noisy in there. Plus, the house elves loved it when she turned music on to study to, they danced!

Fess transfigured the ashtray in the middle of the table to a boom-box. She loved Janet Jackson, she was one of her favorite muggle singers. Taking out her Ipod, she hooked it up to the stereo and let Janet play through the speakers.

Fess was a writer, she loved to write short stories, mostly kids stories, with an occasional poem. She could write about whatever was on her mind at the moment and then could turn it into a story.

"Oooh, I'm gonna take yoouu there. Oooh that's the way love goes, ho, that's the way love goooes." She loved to sing while working. Now she was singing Janet's 'that's the way love goes.'

Sirius walked down the corridor to the kitchens. He couldn't go to sleep and figured that a snack would help him go to sleep. He walked into the kitchens and was greeted by one of the house elves.

"Same as usual Mr. Black?" Thatcher asked him.

"Of course Thatcher. Thanks." Sirius said half-listening to the elf. He heard the music coming from the back of the room and walked towards it, trying not to disturb the person who was singing.

"Come closer baby, reach out and feel my body. I'm gonna give you all my love. Oh, sugar, don't you hurry, you've got me here all night, just close your eyes and hold on tight" Fess sang while writing. She sounded very much like the woman singing. He was engaged in watching her as she closed her eyes and sang to no one in particular.

"Ooh baby, don't stop don't stop. Go deeper, baby deeper. You feel so good I'm gonna cryyy" she sang sexily. Sirius didn't know how much more he could take of just watching her, he wanted to be the person in the song, the person she was calling for. 'Wait, I cant do this, this is Prongs's cousin for Merlin's sake. I cant have these thoughts about her!' he thought. Nonetheless, he stepped out from behind the wall he had been hiding behind.

"Singing about anyone in particular Riddle?" he asked sneakily. Fess almost jumped out of her seat.

"Merlin, Black, you scared the shit out of me! Don't do that!" she said getting her breathing back on track. 'Whoa, he looks sexy in his pj's' she thought. He had nothing on but a pair of grey, baggy sweat pants and a white wife-beater. Sirius was cut, more so than James, as quidditch did him well also. He was shorter than James, but it made him sexier. He walked over to the table and sat at the end of the table.

"Here you are dears" said the house elf, Nina, bringing them their food.

"Thanks, whoa Black, midnight snack or meal?" Fess said looking at his plate. He had potato chips, tacos, cheese fries, two cheeseburgers, and an apple.

"Fourthmeal" he replied simply. He started devouring his food. They finished their food, Fess laughing at Sirius the entire time, he was a really messy eater.

"Wow, Black. Who knew you could be so messy?" She joked at him

"I should ask you the same. Your face is covered in cheese." He said leaning back in his chair.

"What? No its not! You idiot! Good thing one of your little girlfriends has come in and seen you with me, I could hear the rumors now: Black cheats on three girls with the invisible Fess Riddle" Fess said laughing and getting up to throw her plate away.

"Yeah. Right. I don't have any girls hanging over me at the moment, or actually all year. Seems like I've been through them all" He said getting up also.

"Wow. You are such a whore"

"Yeah, I guess I am. But none of those girls really mean anything. They were all just girls to satisfy my misery."

"Misery? I didn't know you knew the word"

"Yeah, I know it. Mom hates me, Dad hates me, my whole family hates me. I guess you knew I ran away this summer. Mom told me if I ever came back she would turn me into Voldemort and make him torture me. I cant imagine what that would be like. I can imagine being beat, cussed, and loathed for being friends with so-called Mudblood lovers. That's happened to me my entire life" He said sitting on the table and playing with his hands.

'Oh he looks so vulnerable, I've never seen him like that. It's sexy. Oh no, don't get me started on sexy, he's entirely too hot, and I am entirely too needy' Fess thought sitting beside him on the table.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on about my family. I'm just frustrated I guess. With the exams and papers, and nothing to get my mind off of it except for quidditch, I'm just a little confused." He stood up again and started pacing back and forth. "I mean, all I hear is James talk about Lily, and he's either excited or depressed. Remus talks about exams, and Peter, well I don't know what Peter does. I have no outlet this year, all the girls are either too stupid, or just want me for sex. Drinking doesn't work, it just makes everything worse. I just- you are laughing at me." He had looked up from the floor and saw Fess on the verge of hysterical laughter. She broke.

"Wh-wh-why are you laughing? I am pouring my heart out and you are laughing!" Sirius said, unbelievably.

"Oh no! I'm not laughing at what you are talking about! I'm laughing at you! I've never seen you like this! The vulnerable Sirius Black! I was merely thinking about all those girls you were just talking about that think you are superman. Oh if they could only see you now!" She said laughing more.

"Hey! I've been vulnerable to other girls!" he said hesitantly.

Fess raised her eyebrows. "What? When you were trying to get them in bed?"

"No. No, I would never do that just to… ok ok, yes it was when I was tryin to get them in bed! Can we drop it?" He said in one breath.

"Sure. Whatever you say Mr. Vulnerable" She said grinning.

"You are never going to let me live that down are you?" He said sitting beside her on the table.

"Nope, never. Now, it is like 3 a.m. and I think that I am going to go back to the dorm and get some sleep, atleast before McGonagall makes her nightly rounds. You coming?" Fess said getting up to leave.

"No, I think I'm going to stay here a while longer, eat some more food, you know, do me stuff. Maybe even do a little studyin, or atleast I need to" Sirius said. Fess started laughing.

"Ha, sure, that's what you are good for, isn't it? Goodnight Black" Fess said turning to leave.

"Goodnight Riddle. Hey!" she stopped and looked back around at him.

"Thanks... for listening to me, that is" he said looking down at the floor.

"Sure, anytime. Goodnight" she said and walked out of the kitchens to her dorm.

/xxxx/

"James, mate, eat. We have quidditch practice today" Sirius said urging James to eat.

"I can't" James said playing with his food. He glanced down to the end of the table where Fess and Lily were eating. She saw her smile as she told Fess about something, then they started laughing. 'How can she take this so lightly? She can just get over it as if we never even talked last night? How? She was the one that did all the talking. And why am I the one feeling so bad about this? Maybe I should just try to get over it and see what comes to me' He thought.

"I'm going to go on down to the pitch, you coming?" James said getting up.

"Yeah, sure, let me stuff this in my pockets" Sirius said stuffing muffins in his pockets. As they passed the girls, James looked at them. They were singing, Lily very off key. He walked up to them.

Lily had walked down to the great hall, miserable. She was one of the first people there so she sat at the end and started going over the food that was sitting infront of her. After getting a plate of eggs and a banana, she realized she could not eat.

Fess came in the great hall looking as happy as ever and sat down beside a sulking Lily.

"Ok, I know that look, what happened?" Fess said to Lily as she sat down backwards on the bench, her back to the table.

"Me? What about you? You look rather happy with yourself this morning" Lily replied, a smirk on her face.

"Oh nothing, just that I spent the entire night with Sirius Black. Nothing at all." Fess said dreamily. "Back to you. What's up? Did you talk to him?"

"Yes I talked to him. I ended up pouring my heart out and I didn't even tell him that I loved his drawing of me. Like I started crying and then I started to run away, but he pulled me back and…" Lily's voice trailed off.

"WHAT? No! You got kissed and I didn't ? No fair!" Fess joked. She turned around to the table at this last comment, throwing her hands in the air. Lily started laughing.

"No! No, we didn't kiss. I got scared and ran. We were so close, but it felt like he was doing it out of pity, not because he actually liked me" Lily said.

"Lily! Didn't I ever tell you James's theme song for you two? I'll never breaaakkkk yooouuurr heart!" Fess started singing, she put her arm around Lily and started to sway. Lily burst out laughing.

"I deserve a try, honey, just once! Give me a chance and Ill prove this all wrong!" Fess continued to sing.

"I'll give you, all of, me baby!" Lily joined in. They were both singing and laughing, to the Backstreet Boys.

"Ohhhh I miss you! I want you! I need you! In my life!" Fess said as they were about to finish the song.

They both were still laughing when James reached them.

"Fess? Don't forget about practice" he said before walking off.

"Well that was short. How rude" Fess said

"It was because of me" Lily said looking at her plate again.

"You know, I've wandered through fiction to look for the truth" Fess started.

"Buried beneath all the lies?" Lily asked, a smile creeping up on her. Fess was always good for making her feel better.

"And I stood at a distance to feel who you are"

"Hiding myself in your eyes" Lily said in a sing-song voice.

"So hoooolllld on! Before its too late!"

"Run till we leave this behind" Lily continued. They were singing Before its too late by the Goo Goo Dolls. That was one of their favorite songs. They sang the chorus together, attracting attention from the other students in the hall.

"So stand on the edge with me! Hold back your fears and see" Fess sang

"Nothing is real till it's gone!" Lily finished. They looked around at the whole of the great hall looking at them.

"I think we better go" Fess whispered. "Yes, I think you're right" Lily said and they walked quickly out of the hall. They walked back to the dorm.

"I'll see you after practice, maybe we can sneak into Hogsmeade!" Fess said grabbing her quidditch gear from the dorm. "Ok, see you!" Lily said getting a book from Fess's suitcase and taking it to her own dorm.

/

"James calm down mate" Fess yelled at him at quidditch practice. He was being a Quidditch Nazi. Everything had to be perfect, and nobody was being perfect. He threw his hands up in the air, frustrated.

"Everybody just leave. Go. This practice was a waste" James said turning to land. The other players looked at him crazily and turned to leave. Sirius and Fess looked at eachother, then looked back at James who was at the other end of the pitch sulking.

"What's his problem?" Fess asked, hoping James had talked to him.

"No idea. Wouldn't say anything last night or this morning at breakfast. All I know is Lily talked to him last night. Must not have been successful as they had hoped. You see if you can get anything out of him. Sing to him or something. Just make him feel better, you're good at that" Sirius said before flying to the ground and going to the locker room. Fess took a deep breath and flew to the other end to talk to James.

"James? JAMES!" Fess yelled. He was still ignoring her.

"James FUCKING Harry POTTER! You WILL turn around and talk to me. NOW!" Fess yelled at him. He finally turned around.

"Well what do you care? You were in there laughing with her! Probably laughing about how stupid I looked last night. She doesn't even care, why should I care? Why should I even live? I don't deserve anything. So don't talk to me, I know you're just going to go back and tell her what a loser I am. How much I miss her, or anything of the sort. You two are just peachy making fun of me" he said looking at the grass.

"What the hell are you on about? I was making her feel better! And If it makes you feel better, you should know she wouldn't even eat this morning, wouldn't talk, or anything. She was sulking for a change, it wasn't just you today that was sulking. She was pretty freaking miserable. Embarrassed at what a fool she made of herself last night. And she didn't even get to tell you what she wanted to tell you! So if you want to sit out here and feel sorry for yourself then fine. I was singing with her to make her feel better, or have you forgotten that I do that quite often? You're crazy James, even blind. She's falling for you and you don't even notice. All you can notice is quidditch lately, and yourself. You should try doing something for her once in a while. Bring out the old James once in a while, atleast he was fun" Fess yelled at him before walking off of the pitch.

Fess knew she was one of the only people who could make James truly feel bad. And she had just done it. Strategizing, she called it. She walked back up to Lily and James's dorms, broom still in hand.

"Oh Merlin, go change! You really stink Fess. No! Don't sit on that! Seriously, go change" Lily said as Fess walked into the common room. Fess started laughing and went to change. Coming back down in boxer shorts and a tank, she sat down on the couch beside Lily.

"Pajamas already? We staying in today or something?" Lily said seeing Fess's attire.

"Sure why not? Today's a good of a day as any! We can get the guys to get some candy and stuff from Hogsmeade and have a sleepover. All of us!" Fess said laughing. Lily laughed at her.

"Sure why not. We do have a lot of homework to do anyway. What was the look for when you came in? You looked either sneaky or pissed. I couldn't tell which" Lily asked, putting her quill down.

"James! He was acting all sorry for himself and crap so I told him off. And I was pissed cause he worked us to death at practice and then said that we weren't accomplishing anything so I told him what he needed to hear" Fess said, getting out her quill and parchment.

"Ahh, would have anything to do with me would it?" Lily said looking hopeful.

"Of course, what else would we fight about?" Fess said smiling. The portrait opened and the marauders came in, unusually quiet.

"Whoa, who died?" Fess said automatically.

"It's James, he is just depressing. And what about practice? I think I need a massage after that" Sirius said flopping into the chair.

"Seriously. Give you one if you give me one?" Fess asked him.

"What the hell. Mine first!" He said sitting infront of Fess, and taking off his t-shirt to reveal his wifebeater, like he had on the night before. Fess had started gently massaging his shoulders when James finally walked in, still in his quidditch gear.

He stopped, looked around, and finally went upstairs to change. He needed time to think. Fess had said some things to him that was churning in his mind. Especially the fact that she said he wasn't fun anymore. That bothered him. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over him, this always helped him think. 'I was supposed to change for Lily. Not be the immature prat I used to be. Why is it backfiring on me? Maybe I matured too much. Ignoring her and all. Should I go back to asking her out every now and then? She may would say yes now that she's seen me be mature.' James started getting hopeful. With this thought, he rushed out of the shower, and ran out of the dorm onto the stair landing, in a towel.

"Hey! Hey Evans!" he yelled from the banister. Everyone turned to look at him, and they all stared.

"Wh-what?" Lily asked staring at his bare, wet chest.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked simply.

Lily was on the verge of saying yes at that exact moment. Then she thought for a minute, 'he thinks he has me in the bag, well let's see him sweat it out. Make him want me more. For the rest of the day, atleast. This calls for extra measures tonight.'

"No" she replied smiling. His smile went to a frown and he slowly walked back up the stairs, shutting the door behind him and getting back into the shower.

Everyone looked at Lily with a surprised look on their faces. "What the f-" Sirius started to say.

"Fess, I'm afraid the sleepover must be cancelled" Lily said with a wink. Fess grinned.

"So, what did you have in mind?" Fess said sneakily.

"Oh, wait, you two aren't planning what I think you are, are you?" Sirius asked. He saw the faces of the two girls and smiled himself. "No way. Don't do that to the man! He's weak! He's easily seduced! Don't play on his weak spot!" Sirius begged.

They started laughing. "I think I will enjoy this" Lily stated.

James had spent the whole day sulking in the corner of the common room, while Fess and Sirius gave massages to eachother all day and whispered back and forth to Lily about something. He didn't know what they could possibly be talking about all this time. It was late, and Lily had just told them that she was going to bed. Fess and Sirius got up.

"James, have a good night mate" Sirius said before walking out of the portrait.

"Yeah James, have a good night" Fess added with a wink.

'What the hell were they on? How am I going to have a good night when Lily has rejected me already today? They must have really got too giddy about those massages. Or whatever they were talking about went to their heads. Good night my ass. How the hell am I supposed to have a good night if it's not with Lily?' he thought to himself.

Lily came running down the stairs, in a small spaghetti strap tank and boxer short shorts. She walked over to the couch, and reaching down, grabbed her parchment from beside the couch. James had to put his fist in his mouth, he could see every inch of her, in detail with his eyes. She picked up her parchment and looked over at James. Seeing her look at him, he frantically looked down at his paper and began drawing.

'Do not look back up, draw, keep your mind off of it, draw, breathe. How the hell am I supposed to keep my mind off of it when I'm drawing her?' he thought.

"Need anything James?" she asked. He dropped his pencil, she had called him James again.

"Um, no, I was just doing homework, or drawing. I'm going to bed soon so I should be ok. Thanks though" he said nervously picking up his pencil and looking back at her.

"Merlin it is so hot down here. Are you sure you don't need anything? You look flustered" she said edging towards him, fanning herself.

"No, I'm great. Thanks" James said quickly, looking back down at his parchment. She was getting closer to him by the second and he was starting to sweat. Suddenly he jumped up out of his seat, afraid he could not contain himself around her. 'What was she playing at?" he thought.

He did not realize that once he had stood up he would be standing centimeters from her body. Breathing in deeply, he tried to turn to go upstairs. Her hand caught his, pulling him back down to her lips, engaging him in a kiss that he had been waiting on for forever. His mind swirled and became blank as he kissed her. Losing himself, he deepened the kiss, cupping a hand on her face and the other sitting on her waist. Lily pushed him back down into the chair, their lips never breaking. Letting her hands roam over his body, he broke free of her kiss and caressed her neck with small kisses. She was now stratling him over the armchair they had landed on. His hands found the rim of her tank, and lifted it above her head. She found his belt buckle, and undoing it, let her hands do things to him he never thought possible. Lily smiled to herself, knowing what she was doing to him. She heard him moan under his breath and continue to kiss her.

Suddenly Lily stopped what she was doing, got up, and walked to her dormitory, leaving James to himself, in awe. She smirked as she walked back up the stairs, knowing that he was going to be pissed in the morning.


	4. The Event

Chapter 7

/

/

James could not believe what had just happened, nor could he believe that she had just left him like that. After taking a cold shower, he laid down and tried to get some sleep, but he couldn't. He kept on thinking that he was in a dream at that moment, especially after what had just happened. He didn't just kiss Lily, he almost had sex with her. And probably would have if she didn't get up like that and leave him hanging. He had mixed emotions about this. On one hand he was completely thrilled that he had finally kissed her, and on the other hand, completely pissed that she had left him.

He stayed awake the whole night thinking about this, and when it came time for breakfast, he got up early, so he could avoid her and tell Sirius and Fess what had happened before Lily did.

Lily woke up late for breakfast the next morning, and then remembered what had happened the night before. She got dressed quickly, running down to the Great Hall in search of Fess.

When she arrived in the Great Hall, she saw Fess sitting with the Marauders as usual. Trying to look innocent, she walked to a seat beside Fess.

"You evil little whore!" Fess said with the biggest grin Lily had ever seen on her face.

"Let me guess, he's already told you what happened?" Lily said helping herself to blueberry pancakes.

"Of course, what kind of a friend would he be if he hadn't?" Fess said, still smiling.

"Did he say anything else? Is he mad at me?" Lily asked.

"I don't think so. Just a little disappointed. Maybe you should go slow next time instead of being overly-aggressive" Fess said laughing.

"It was your idea! You and Sirius and your evil minds!" Lily said throwing a biscuit at her.

"Hey! You didn't have to follow our instructions!" Fess said throwing a pancake back at her.

"Well, maybe I wanted to!" Lily said laughing and threw eggs at Fess.

Fess's eyes grew wide and she looked at Lily, shocked. "FOOD FIGHT!" she yelled before throwing custard at Lily.

The whole hall erupted in people throwing their food. The Marauders were the first to join in, throwing their cups of orange juice on each other. One of them even 'accidentally' hit Professor Dumbledore in the face with a syrup covered waffle.

After about five minutes of food being thrown on every person in the Great Hall, Professor Dumbledore stood up. Seeing him stand, everyone progressively stopped throwing to hear what their headmaster had to say.

He was laughing. "Now that everyone, I think, is covered in their own breakfast, I suggest we find a stopping point until lunch. I daresay the chocolate pudding will look brilliant in your hair, Ms. Riddle. Oh, and thank you for the waffle Mr. Potter, but I wish you had thrown a few extra muffins up here, we seem to be running short this morning. Now, everyone go get cleaned up and report to your first classes" he said and sat down once again.

"I swear the man is mental" James said to no one in particular.

"Yes, I think he is. I've got a free period now so I think I'll go get cleaned up before potions" Lily said catching James's eye before walking away to her common room.

"Oh Merlin, I think I'm going to die" James said crashing into the bench he was sitting on.

"Calm down mate, at least you're getting more action than I am these days." Sirius said sitting beside him.

"Yea, how is that working out for you exactly?" Fess said laughing.

Sirius looked up at Fess, "Depends on the day of the week actually" he said with a wink. He took a towel he had conjured up and wiped off his face, which was covered in confectioner's sugar.

"Sirius you look like a ghost mate!" Remus said laughing.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't wipe it off! You're going to smear it in! You're making it worse, stop!" Fess said rolling with laughter.

"Well if I cant just wipe it off, I guess I'm going to take a shower then" Sirius said standing up.

"What's wrong Padfoot? Got eggs in your hair?" James said laughing.

"Atleast I didn't have to take a cold shower last night. By the way, Fess, you have cheese in your hair" Sirius said before walking out of the Great Hall.

"Oh no! I do have cheese in my hair! Damn you Black!" Fess said yelling the last part to him. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Well, I think I'm going to go take a shower also. Free period too. See you guys in potions" Fess said leaving the Great Hall and heading towards Lily's dorm.

"Hey Evans, did you get the memo about Dumbledore wanting to see us tonight?" James asked Lily at supper that night.

"Nope. Do you know what it's about?" Lily asked, trying to make the conversation casual.

"No idea. He wants to see us at 8, so I guess we'll find out then" James said finishing his chicken.

"Hey Fess, why are you just eating fruit?" Sirius asked her in between bites of his steak.

"I don't know, don't much feel like eating a whole meal tonight I guess" Fess said picking at her grapes.

"Whoa, what's wrong with you?" James asked her.

"Homework. And just stupid stuff" Fess said gloomily.

"What stupid stuff?" Remus asked.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I'm going on up to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow" Fess said getting up and leaving the Great Hall.

The marauders just looked at Lily. She took a deep breath, "Did you not see the Prophet this morning?" They all shook their heads.

Lily rummaged through her bag and pulled out a folded newspaper. She slapped it in the middle of the table. James immediately knew what was wrong. He got up without another word and went to find Fess.

"I don't get it. What's wrong?" Sirius asked looking over the newspaper.

"If you don't know, I'd rather she tell you" Lily said beginning to stand up.

"I don't get it. What does this Voldemort guy have to do with Fess?" Sirius asked as Lily left the Great Hall.

James met Lily outside of their dorm to go meet Dumbledore. "Ready?" he asked her.

"Yep" she said and they walked down to his office in silence. Upon reaching it, James discovered that he did not know the password.

"Umm… do you-?" he started to ask. "Chocolate frog" Lily said before James could even finish his sentence. The spiral staircase started moving as they jumped onto the first step. James knocked on the door to the headmaster's office.

"Come in" said Dumbledore from inside. Pushing open the door, they saw him clad in a violent green robe that, for even Dumbledore, was eccentric. Lily began to laugh immediately.

"Do you not like my attire, dear Ms. Evans?" Dumbledore said smiling.

"I'm sorry, sir. It's just a little bright is all" she said still laughing. James smirked, entranced by Lily's laugh.

"Well I must tell you that I thought about wearing it to our Halloween Ball, what do you think?" Dumbledore said showing off and twirling in his brilliant robes.

"Halloween Ball, sir?" James said, snapping out of his daydream.

"Yes, yes. I think it is time for Hogwarts to let loose a little and have a bit of fun. And I think a ball would be one of the best ways to do it. That is what I called this meeting for. I am putting you two in charge of all decorations, entertainment, and anything else that you may need. Just bill the expenses to me and I will take care of it" he said casually.

"So, you mean, no budget?" Lily asked getting excited.

"Well, Ms. Evans, let's not go overboard, but let us also have fun in planning this and not have to worry about the hassle of a strict budget. How is that?" he asked sitting down behind his desk.

"That sounds great, sir" Lily said smiling.

"What do you think James?" Dumbledore asked him, who was staring off in space, as if in deep thought.

"Oh, right, it sounds great. But I was just thinking that maybe we should do like a whole week long festival type deal. You know, have game nights, karaoke night, get to dress in a different attire each day, something like that. Just something to get everyone involved instead of excluding some of the younger kids with just the ball" James said thoughtfully.

"James, I love the way your mind works! This is exactly why I made you head boy!" Dumbledore said standing up once more and clapping his hands together. He walked up to James and put his hand on his shoulder. "I trust the two of you can work out who does which part of the festival? Or maybe both of you should collaborate evenly on it. I'm sure you can work that out. By all means, get your friends to help. I think they would be of great use to you" he added with a wink.

Lily and James looked at each other, wondering what their headmaster had up his sleeve. "Sir, you said this would be a Halloween carnival? Do we need to run everything by you or can we just start on it this week and handle it ourselves?" Lily asked.

"I think you can handle it yourselves. Get the other professors involved would be good I think. Goodness! Is that the time? I'm sorry you two but I'm afraid I promised Professor Slughorn I would meet him and I am already late! I know I can trust you two on this project, and cant wait to see the finished product! Good-bye now!" Dumbledore said, practically shoving them out of his office.

"Shut UP! You're serious? A festival? Like a muggle carnival slash festival thing? With a ball? You're bloody JOKING!" Fess said astonished when Lily told her of the news back in the common room later that night.

"Yes! I'm serious! He told us that we could do whatever we wanted with it" Lily explained.

"No way! That is so awesome! You guys should do karaoke night so we call all get up onstage and be complete dorks" Fess said laughing.

"I hadn't thought about that actually! That would be really fun! I'm still trying to think of who to get to perform at the ball" Lily said staring off into space.

"Well, you and James can think about that BUT….. Next Saturday is a Hogsmeade day! We can go shopping for our dresses! Seeing as there isn't another one until November" Fess added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I guess we can go shopping then" Lily said

"What's wrong? You suddenly got depressing" Fess asked, wondering what had happened to the bubbly Lily 5 minutes before.

"I was just thinking that were going to have to get dates" Lily said slowly.

"Ok, you shouldn't be worried about getting a date, James will more than likely ask you, and if he doesn't, he did it because he's just trying to make you jealous. Why don't you ask him?" Fess said.

"Me? Ask James Potter out? I don't think so. I'm already going to be spending a lot of time with him on this project" Lily said, still depressed.

"Well, we will just have to see what the magnificent James H. Potter has in store for you, wont we?" Fess said with a wink.

/

/

/


	5. Of Duties and Frustrations

The Great Hall was in a fury the next morning. There was more and more talking about the ball and carnival, and about their new classmate, just transferred from the Italian wizarding school. Dumbledore announced her arrival in his speech, for she had to be sorted into her house.

"Students! It is my pleasure to announce that this year we will be having a week off from our studies! This will happen on the week leading up to Halloween, and there will be a ball held on Halloween night! Any other questions, comments, suggestions, or anything else about this brilliant week should be directed at our Head boy and girl. Another announcement is that we have a new student joining us from Italy! Her name is Johanna Dupe, and she will be joining our 7th year Hufflepuffs! Please welcome Ms. Dupe!" Dumbledore said as the new girl stood up from the end of the Gryffindor table.

The girl was tall for a girl attending Hogwarts. Most of the girls were between 5'4 and 5'7, but this girl was atleast 5'10. She had a slim figure with curves to make any girl jealous. Her long black wavy hair hung over her shoulders delicately. When she stood, she looked directly at the Marauders, determined to get their attention, and she got the attention of more than one of them.

"I saw her first" Sirius said to James.

"I think you will be mistaken on that one Padfoot, see she wouldn't want a dog" James said nudging him. "I think I'll go introduce myself, I mean, I am Head Boy"

Remus shot James a dirty look, "Careful, Prongs"

"What? I'm just going to offer her a tour of the castle. Do you remember our first day here? We were late for every class!" James said before striding off, his confidence in full swing.

"Fess is not going to be happy about this" Remus said under his breath as he saw the girls walk in to the Great Hall. Fess saw James talking to a girl she did not know and decided to make a diversion.

"Lily, arent dung bombs banned?" Fess said quickly, stopping in front of a couple of 2nd year Ravenclaws.

"Yeah, of course" she said.

"Well, you might want to handle those two Hufflepuffs with them then. I'll save you a seat and some pancakes from Sirius" Fess said leaving Lily to deal with the Hufflepuffs. Fess practically ran over to the Marauders and sat quickly beside Lupin.

"Glad you could join us" he said.

"Who the hell is that?" Fess asked him.

"The sexiest thing I have ever seen" Sirius said looking at the girl and James talk.

"Really? So why arent you the one talking to her instead of James?" Fess asked him.

"James grabbed her first. Not my fault he thinks she's pretty too" He said leaning back.

Fess was getting pissed at this point. "Well, Lily cant see this"

"Cant see what?" Lily said coming up behind them.

Fess looked up at her apologetically and then looked towards James. Lily followed her gaze. Trying to look like it didn't bother her, she sat down and stared at the table. Breathing in deeply, she threw sausage and pancakes on to her plate and ate carelessly. The way she was eating brought Sirius back down to Earth.

"Lils, you picked up a few habits from me, don't you think?" he asked.

"Shut up Black, I'm just hungry" she said with her mouth full. When she looked back up, she saw James leading the girl out of the Great Hall. Lily suddenly got nauseous.

"Lils? Oh shit. Come on, we'll go see Pomfrey" Fess said seeing the look on Lily's face, and making up an excuse to leave the table. Fess helped Lily out of the Hall, being sure she did not throw up on any random 1st years.

They walked quickly outside, so that Lily could not only throw up, but let out any frustrations she had.

Lily looked around at Fess after she finished and had the evilest look Fess had ever seen on her face.

"Who in the HELL is that? When did she get here? How could he just…. Just…. Just do that? I HATE HIM!" Lily screamed.

James had decided to take Johanna on a tour of the grounds first, since they both had a free period that morning. But what they saw when they came back from the lake disturbed James. He saw Lily and Fess both yelling at each other, Fess a little more calm than Lily.

"What are they doing? Is there always people screaming out here?" Johanna asked James.

"No, not usually. Come on, let's go this way so they don't notice us" James said leading her around the left side of the castle.

"James, thank you for this tour, it really means a lot for someone to be nice to me on the first day. I thought everyone would hate me because I was new. But I guess I was wrong" Johanna said before her first class, which was arithmancy. She was walking closer to him now than she had at the beginning of the tour.

"Not all of us are like that. Anything you need, just let me know. And don't be a stranger" James said laughing.

"No, James, I think we will become a lot more than strangers" she said taking his hand in hers, and then kissing him on the corner of his mouth. She started to walk off when James kissed her again, this time it was a full blown kiss. As it started to deepen, a suit of armor fell down the hallway and startled them both. They pulled away and stared at the end of the hall to see what had caused the fall.

"So, I will see you after classes then?" Johanna said to him.

"Of course" James said with a wink.

~/~

Fess and James did not talk for a week, and the preparations for the carnival were falling behind because either James was not there to help Lily, or they couldn't agree on anything.

"Potter, I really need your attention on this! Are you going to help me or not? The whole carnival was your idea, you know" Lily said to him one night in their common room. She was forcing herself to be civil so that they may work together as Head Boy and Girl.

"What do you need my opinion on? I think you have it, Evans" he said looking back down at his book.

"Potter, Professor Dumbledore asked us both to help with this. I could really use some help" she said, sounding disappointed. He heard the disappointment in her voice. "But if you don't want to help at all, I guess I could get Remus to help, or Fess, as if she isn't helping enough already. I can understand if you don't have time for anything else anymore" Lily continued, looking back down at the scattered papers in front of her. She was sitting on the floor in front of the fire with papers and preparations and permits scattered across the floor.

James saw the disappointed look on her face, "What do you really need help on?" he asked putting down his book and sitting on the floor with her.

"Oh thank Merlin. It's mainly just a list of different events to go on during the week to keep everyone busy. I mean, I have a bunch of stuff that we could do, it's just organizing them into a schedule and getting the house elves prepared for everything. Me and Fess are going to get decorations tomorrow in Hogsmeade and see if Rosmerta, Zonkos, and Honeydukes wants to donate some stuff for the week. I have to have a menu ready for the House Elves so they know what to prepare at the ball, and Dumbledore wanted a schedule of events by Monday" Lily said, almost falling asleep in the middle of her sentences.

"So do you want me to try and put together a schedule? Wheres the list of events?" James asked looking through the papers.

"It's down here somewhere. I thought I put it up here" Lily said throwing papers all over the place.

James knocked around some of the papers also, until he finally saw it laying on the bottom of one of the stacks. He reached for it just as Lily did and their hands touched slightly. Lily jerked back immediately.

"Yeah, there it is. I though I had put it up there" She said rubbing her hand, as if it had been burned.

"So just organize it with around 3 to 5 events a day?" he asked, a little hurt.

"Yeah, I guess. You know more about schedules than I do, I mean, you make out the quidditch schedules and things. I just need it by -"

"James, sweetie, are you ready to go?" Johanna said bursting into the common room.

"She-knows-the-password?" Lily said under her breath, her teeth gritted.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" James whispered back. If looks could kill, James would have died at that moment. He turned to Johanna, "Yeah I'm ready, I'll meet you outside" he said and she went back out of the portrait hole.

Lily gathered up her papers quickly. James noticed her franticness.

"Evans? What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Oh you act like you don't know! I'm planning this whole carnival by myself while you go out with her and get laid every night! Give me the schedule, I'll do it my own self since you obviously have no time for anything else besides her! You don't even have time for your friends anymore! Just go! Go spend the night with her!" she said fast.

"Lily, I-" he stared.

"Just GO! And Don't call me Lily! Just leave, NOW" Lily said in tears. She slammed the papers down on the table in the corner and ran up to her room. James breathed in heavily, and walked outside of the portrait hole.

~~/~~

"So what is on our agenda today?" Fess asked Lily the next morning while walking to Hogsmeade.

"Well, we have to see if we can get any of the stores to donate some stuff, like prizes and such. Then we have to get decorations, and of course, dresses to kill" Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, we can save that one for last. Where to first? Honeydukes?" Fess said as they strolled into town.

"Sure. I wonder how Petunia's wedding is going?" Lily said

"Oh is it today? Probably horribly. You know something had to go wrong, otherwise she wouldn't have had anything to fuss about" Fess said laughing.

"Well, she finds something to fuss about anyway so it was probably just as eventful as any other day. I'm glad I wasn't in the wedding, you should have seen the bridesmaids dresses she had picked out. They were awful. They were this awful green color and looked almost like a tutu because they were short. It was bad. I mean, if they were doing a ballet, it would be cute but, this was a wedding. I think she thought that they would all look better than her unless she dressed them horribly" Lily explained as they walked into Honeydukes.

"So what are we getting prizes for? Or how many do we need?" Fess asked as she looked at one of the deluxe sugar quills.

"Hang on, I have the list here somewhere" Lily said rummaging through her bag for the list that she thought she had put in her bag the night before. "Where is it? I could've swore I put it in here!" she said still searching.

"Maybe we should just wing it. No point in taking twenty minutes to look for a list. Come on, lets just see if he'll sell us some boxes of sugar quills and some different candies and stuff from in the back" Fess said leading Lily to the counter.

"Hi, can we speak to the owners? Were having a carnival up at the castle on Halloween and need to talk to them about getting some boxes of candy or sotmhing for prizes" Lily explained to the younger guy working at the register.

"Sure. Mom, Dad! Customer!" he guy yelled to the back of the store. A tall man with a small, yet comical, beard came to the front of the store quickly.

"What can I do for you?" he asked them.

"Well, were having a carnival up at the castle on Halloween and wanted to get some boxes of candy instead of individual for prizes and things" Lily explained once more.

"I thought you might be down for something like that. Dumbledore informed me about the carnival last week. Said there should be two students coming by to pick up some stuff. He told me what you might need, I got some stuff in the back you can look at. Come on" the man said and lead them to the cellar.

"Just pick out any of this candy you want, we'll deliver it up to the school, and there's no charge. Not for Dumbledore" the man said and then left Fess and Lily to a sea of candy boxes.

"Wow. Let's just get everything" Fess said laughing.

"No! I'm not taking advantage of them like that! Let's limit to ten boxes" Lily said looking around at the boxes.

"15" Fess argued.

"10" Lily argued back.

"13"

"10"

"12!" Fess begged.

"Deal"

The whole day went by like that. Apparently Dumbledore had contacted every store in Hogsmeade and told them that whatever they needed, to give it to them. And no one charged them anything.

Finally it was time to visit the dress robe shop a little ways down the street from Madame Puddifoots. Both girls were excited about the dresses but at the same time dreaded even looking for them.

"Can I help you girls with anything?" the saleswoman asked them when they walked in.

"No thank you. Were just looking right now" Lily told her. The woman sauntered away like she had been insulted.

"I hate people like that. Always bothering you with any little thing. I always tell them to go to hell" Fess said looking at a rack of dresses.

Lily laughed. "Atleast I try to be nice incase I need their help later"

"Personally I'd rather just not be bothered. Hey, I think I'm dying my hair black before the dance. So I guess I can get any color I want, right?"

"Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad idea, your hair clashes worse than mine does with different colors. What do you think about this one?" Lily said holding up a black dress.

"We can do better than that Lils! Show a little more skin!" Fess said to her. After going through all the dresses in the store, each of them found three dresses to try on each. When their decisions were made about which dress they were going to choose, they bought them and left the store, heading back for the school.


	6. Calling Out

Chapter 11

/

/

"Hey, let me know what you need me to do. I think I'm going to go take a nap" Fess said leaving Lily in her dorm about to take a nap herself.

"Ok, I'm going to take a nap too, I'm dead tired" Lily explained, laying on the couch.

Fess left Lily and walked to her own dorm where she did not intend on taking a nap. She changed into a tank and jogging pants before leaving her dorm and heading towards the Room of Requirement. Walking past it three time thinking about what she needed, the door finally appeared. She opened the door to reveal her favorite place, a dance studio. Going over to the music player, she put on some music before sitting down and stretching out.

James was getting frustrated with himself. How could he have let this new girl come between everything he had built up with Lily? And almost ruin every friendship he'd ever had? He never had time anymore for any of the Marauders, and hadn't talked to Fess in over a week. Lily was actually trying to talk to him and he was practically ignoring her, and his duties as head boy. His grades were going down, mainly because ever study session he planned usually turned into a make-out session. It was time for a break.

He had just spent the whole day with Johanna in Hogsmeade, and had left her at her dorm before retreating to his own dorm before dinner. He sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace and buried his head in his hands. How would he tell her that he couldn't handle being with her all the time because he never had time for anything else? He knew she wouldn't go for that. She would say that there was someone else, and accuse him of cheating on her. He needed to talk to Fess.

Fess finished stretching, and turned to her music player once again, changing the song to a contemporary song by George Stanford ("Get Free"). She had just started improving when the door opened, revealing a sight she was not intended to see.

Johanna was laid out against the door, making out with none other than….. Sirius Black. Johanna's giggling stopped when she heard the music already playing in the room. Fess came out of her leg extension she was doing and paused to take in the whole scene. Sirius looked up from Johanna's neck and caught Fess's eye. With an eyebrow cocked and her head tilted, Fess crossed her arms.

"Well, well, well" Fess said sarcastically.

Both Sirius and Johanna were at a loss for words. Johanna looked away from Fess and at the floor.

"So this is how you treat guys, Johanna? Snag the first one that is nice to you, then sneak around with the one you really want? Does it even matter to you that they are best friends?" Fess snapped, walking towards them.

"Look, Fess, it-" Sirius started.

"What? Isn't what it looks like? How is it not what it looks like when you and her are pushed against each other on the wall, making out, and then you burst into the Room of Requirement, a room only a handful of students know" Fess said, still approaching them.

"Why do you even care?" Johanna spoke through her thick accent.

"Why do I…- wait, what? Why do I care? Hmm I don't know, maybe because your 'boyfriend' is my cousin and my best friend, and because his best friend shouldn't be snogging his girlfriend. And I just don't like you Johanna. I haven't talked to James in over a week because of you. You came here and practically ruined everything we had here, just because you're the prettiest, and apparently easiest, thing they've seen come through here in seven years" Fess replied, getting angrier by the second.

"Let's go Sirius. I'm sure you know of other places we can go besides this stupid room. It is too crowded in here" Johanna said grabbing his arm and leading him out of the doorway. Sirius didn't look at Fess as he left the room.

Fess fell to the floor, drained of energy to fight. She needed rock music, and a good run. Turning off her music, she clipped her Ipod to her hip, put her earphones in, turned on some Aerosmith, and ran out of the room. She didn't care that she passed two professors and almost knocked them down, she didn't care about the people that yelled at her asking her to watch out, and she definitely didn't care about practically kicking Mrs. Norris out of the 2nd floor window. She should have moved, she is a cat afterall.

A storm had started outside of the castle, a bad one. Every now and then, the lights would dim and flash on and off. Lily awoke when she head the sound of lightning pop in the distance. She got up, got dressed, and walked down towards the Great Hall. She was walking slowly, trying to wake herself up still when she felt a gush of wind pass her. This woke her up. Looking up, she saw a blur of Fess running by her.

'Why did she have to pick now to run? I'm wearing heels!' Lily thought before she started running to catch up with her.

James walked slowly down the hallway from the 3rd floor. It was there he saw, two flights down, Fess running full speed down stairs and down hallways, heading for the front door. The lights flickered on and off. James started running, hoping he could catch her.

By the time Lily had picked up any speed in her 4 inch heels, James had already passed her. 'Damn those quidditch skills' she thought.

Fess was still in her 'not care' mode. She knew the lights were going on and off. She knew James was practically on her heels, yelling at her to stop. She knew Lily was chasing her as well, trying not to trip in her heels. She knew that it was pouring rain outside, and there was no breaks between one roll of thunder and the next. And she honestly, didn't care.

Finally reaching the front door, she burst it open and ran out into the rain, only stopping when she reached the edge of the lake. She stopped, bent over and put her hands on her knees, breathing fiercely. Tears rolled down her face, camouflaged in the rain. She was soaking wet by now, but it didn't phase her.

Snatching her earphones out of her ears, she whirled around to face James. HE was soaking wet also, his shirt clinging to his every muscle. He could barely see out of his glasses that were now fogged. He took them off, recited a spell, and put them back on.

"Fess, why, why are you running?" he said between breaths, his hands on his hips.

"Do you honestly want to know? Or do you just want to hear that it's ok, there's nothing wrong so you can get back to your little whore of a girlfriend?" Fess said spitting the rain out of her mouth.

"I want to - wait, what? What are you talking about?" he asked, the last bit of what she said registering in his head.

"I said you're girlfriend is a whore, James" she said plainly.

"Fess, just because I haven't been spending much time with any of you guys anymore, doesn't give you the right to call -"

Fess started laughing, which made him stop talking. It wasn't her normal laugh, it was evil.

"James, James, James. You are blind, darling. You think that because you haven't been talking to me, it has driven me to run down 7 stories of the castle, knock over three teachers, and run outside in the pouring rain?" she said still laughing.

"Fess, what is wrong?" he yelled over the thunder.

"SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU!" Fess yelled at the top of her lungs. Lightning cracked in the not-so-distance.

"What? You're lying. You're just saying that because you want me to dump her and go back to chasing after Evans. I'm done, Fess. I'm done chasing her. It's taken up the past five years of my existence. I can't do it anymore."

"Oh ok. So basically you're giving up on that relationship and jumping into a relationship where she sleeps with your best friend. Brilliant plan. Bravo, darling. I applaud you" Fess said mockingly, clapping.

"What are you talking about, Fess?" James asked calmly, though the anger was building.

"I'm talking about the fact that while I was in the Room of Requirement, doing some dancing, Johanna and Sirius burst into the room, lip-locked" she yelled.

"What?" James whispered.

"Yes, you heard me James. Johanna and Sirius are sneaking around behind your back. Ever wonder why when you're actually in the room, Sirius never is?" Fess said to him.

"You're lying. You just want me to go back to Lily. I told you, I'm done, Fess, DONE! She'll never give me the time of day, let alone the rest of her life. When are you going to see that?" He yelled.

Fess threw her hands in the air. "I don't believe this. You are such a quitter James, when anything gets tough, you just walk away" she said turning around, pacing.

"Yeah? Well, let's not get started with you. When anything gets tough in your life, you just take it out on your sports, your writing, anything to get your mind off of it, but you never deal with the problem. Let's talk about your obsession, your love that you wont even attempt to go after. You are the coward, Fess" he said.

The largest crack of lighting yet hit the middle of the lake behind them. Fess didn't even notice. She had charged at James, knocking him down and hitting him, breaking his nose. Lily came running out of nowhere and tried pulling Fess off of James before she hit him again. Fess was pounding his chest in outrage, crying.

"Fess! Get off! Come on stop! This is stupid!" Lily said dragging her off. She finally got Fess off of him when James lunged at her, wrestling Fess back to the ground. They were rolling on the muddy grass, wrestling. Lily had had enough.

"Both of you STOP!" Lily yelled at them. Neither of them had heard her yell like that before.

"Stop! Both of you! This is stupid! You're both cowards! You both run away from anything that's real! You're just alike! You give up too easy, you think you're not good enough! I'm tired of it! I'm really tired of you two fighting, you're best friends! You should be plotting revenge, or some kind of prank against Johanna and Sirius for making you go through this! Both of you, grow up!" Lily said before storming back up to the castle.

Fess fell back onto the ground, lying there for a moment, staring up at the rain that was beating down on them. James laid back and did the same.

James breathed in a deep, jagged breath, taking in everything that had just happened.

"Want to go play some quidditch?" he asked Fess, still looking up at the sky.

"What the hell, why not" she said smiling. James got to his feet, then reached out a hand to help Fess up. Fess looked towards the front door and spotted wet red hair still walking.

"Hey LILS! WANT TO PLAY SOME QUIDDITCH?" she yelled to her. Lily turned around and smiled, then ran towards them. It was good to have her friends back, even if it did mean yelling at them once in a while.

/

/

A/N: Hope you like this one guys! This was my fav chapter, please review!


	7. Staggering Pictures

After a long game, where Lily tried to keep up with James playing chaser while Fess played Keeper, ended in James only beating her by 2 points, they decided to call it a day and head back up to the castle. For only a couple of hours they had no worries about anything, no worries about what would happen when they all went back up to the castle and talked to Sirius and Johanna. It was nice, if only for a while.

The best part was they were able to just have fun. Lily, for once, didn't worry about it being James that she was having a great time with, she didn't mind. She was having a great time. James didn't worry about trying to impress her, he only cared about getting his mind off of things. It was one of the best times he had had in a long time.

They walked up to the castle laughing. They were all the muddiest they had ever been, and even left a trail all the way through the castle back up to the Head Dorms. They burst through the portrait hole laughing and making fun of each other.

"What the hell happened to you three?" Remus asked, seeing their appearance. This brought them back to reality. On the couch was Peter, Sirius, and Johanna, while Remus sat in the armchair further away from them.

"Nothing, just a quick game of quidditch" Fess said sitting at the table beside the door. Sirius dodged her eyes, while Johanna looked at her with loathing.

James decided to act cool, and walked over to Johanna. "Hey, babe. Miss me at dinner?" he asked pecking her lips.

Sirius seemed to take this as Fess hadn't told him what had happened, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Pete, mind getting up for me so I can sit there?" James said to Peter, who scurried out of the seat beside Johanna. James sat down and laid his arm on the couch behind Johanna. Lily looked at him curiously. James caught her eye and gave her a wink.

"Padfoot, you never told me where you were at dinner" Remus said, looking up from his book.

"Padfoot? Miss dinner? Do you have a fever, man? You sure you feelin' well? The only time you ever miss dinner is if you're getting' some. Who was it this time?" James said reaching over to feel Sirius's head for a fever.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I was doing homework guys, I'm way behind" he said.

"No way. You don't do homework until the last minute, and even then, you don't do it until after midnight" Remus said.

"I was doing homework guys! Why is this such a big deal?" Sirius said jumping up.

"Somebody's touchy today" Fess said.

Sirius glared at her, he knew she knew precisely where he was. She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips.

"I'm gone, I'll see you guys in the morning. You coming, Wormtail? Moony?" Sirius said before walking out of the portrait hole. Remus raised his eyebrows at James and took a deep breath before following him and Peter out.

Anger crept back into Fess's mind. Getting up without saying anything, she followed the boys out of the portrait. Sirius had waited on Remus and Peter and was stepping away from the wall when he saw her come through the door.

"Oh, great, what are you going to do? Tell me off?" he responded automatically.

"No, just ask when you're planning on telling James about you and Johanna" she said walking beside him.

"If I can help it, never. I don't want something this stupid to come between me and him" he said gloomily.

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" she inquired.

"She came onto me one day after dinner, and I just couldn't stop her. And it's just continued" he said softly, almost whispering in shame.

"Black, why do you continue to do it if you know how much it would hurt James?"

Sirius just looked at her, "Do you really want to ask me that?"

"Oh, right. You hadn't been getting very much good sex this year, so she is the best you can do right now. Black, you can do better than that. Sneaking around behind your best friend's back isn't exactly the best way to get sex" Fess thought for a moment. "Wait, wait, I get it. It's the thrill isn't it? The thrill that you could get caught at any moment makes it even better. Tell me, did you get enough of that thrill today?"

"Dammit Fess! I don't like what I'm doing! Cant you tell I feel bad enough already? No, I didn't like being caught today, especially by you" he added quietly.

"Why not me? Because you know I'm going to give you hell about it?" she asked.

"No, I just- cant we drop this? I'm going to talk to James tomorrow, ok? That make you happy? I don't want to hurt his feelings, or get hit in the face, or not talk to him ever again. What is your interest in this? Why are you so upset anyway?"

This caught Fess off-guard. "Be-because, because, let's just forget it Black. I'll see you at breakfast" she stuttered out, quickening her pace ahead of him. He grabbed her arm and made her face him. She couldn't look at him, couldn't let him see her jealousy.

"Fess, look at me, please" he whispered reaching up to her face. He cupped her face and caressed her cheek softly. He chuckled.

"Now, who's the vulnerable one?" he asked smiling. She looked up and smiled at him, hitting him playfully in the stomach.

"Shut up!" she said laughing.

"Ow, woman! That was more than just a small punch! That really hurt!" he said turning over in pain.

"Oh, would you like me to kiss it and make it better?" she said in a baby voice.

Sirius laughed, then tackled her, attempting to tickle her. "Black, stop! Please stop! No! Please!" Fess said with hysterical laughter. He had her against the wall tickling her when he looked at her face. He had never seen her more beautiful than in that moment. It was then that he had the sudden urge to kiss her, and that's what he did.

He caught her off-guard, yet again. She never expected a tickling war to end with this, and had hardly had time to catch her breath. Giving in, Fess dropped her arms and practically melted beneath him. Sensing her weakness, entwined his hands through hers and held tight. Picking up strength, Fess deepened the kiss, letting go of one of his hands and cupping the back of his head, entwining her fingers in his hair. Sirius pushed them even further into the wall, wrapping his free hand around the small of her back, pushing her hips against him.

/~/~/

James let out a sigh of relief as Johanna finally left the dorm. He would be glad to be rid of her, though he didn't want to make a big scene of it. Turning around from the door, he saw Lily smirking as she glanced up at him from the farthest desk.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked, ruffling his hair.

"Nothing. When are you going to ask her about it? Or ask Sirius?" she said simply, not taking her eyes off of her work she had in front of her.

"I don't know. I'm hoping Sirius will tell me, he usually cant hide things from me" James said as he sat down at the chair across from her.

Lily nodded her head silently.

"Are you still working on the Halloween stuff?" he asked picking up a flyer.

"Yeah, me and Fess got everything we need in Hogsmeade today, but I'm still having trouble organizing. I think I'm going to call it a day though. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow" Lily said yawning and standing up. James also stood up.

"We have quidditch practice in the morning, not that me and Fess really need it after today" he said smiling. Lily laughed.

"Yeah. Goodnight James" she said turning to walk up the stairs.

"Night Lily" James said before sitting back down at the desk.

Lily woke up the next morning, unusually early. She had planned on sleeping until lunch, but she kept tossing and turning in her sleep and finally gave up around 7:30. Stretching, she slipped into the bathroom where she splashed water on her face and automatically brushed her teeth. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, she decided to try to do leisurely reading. She looked around for a book by one of her favorite authors, Pride and Prejudice.

'Crap, I left it downstairs yesterday' she thought before trotting out of her room and descending down the stairs. She walked over to the mantle above the fireplace and reached for her book. Turning to go back upstairs, she heard a noise coming from the corner. Unconsciously, she started smiling.

James had fallen asleep at the desk the night before, obviously attempting to do some of the organizing for the carnival. Lily slowly tip-toed up to him and watched him sleep for a moment.

'He actually looks peaceful, and amazingly, doesn't snore. What was he up doing all night?' she thought to herself. Some of the papers were still lying underneath him, while some had been stacked in two piles on the table. He had apparently knocked some of them over in his sleep because one pile had a few of its pages scattered in the opposite chair and on the floor.

Lily carefully picked up the fallen papers and looked at them. They were daily schedules that had been made out down to the minute. He had thought about how long each event would take, and calculated the exact time it should be done, plus 15-30 minutes in between games incase of one overlapping the other. He even had scrap paper with his calculations to prove it.

'Whoa, who knew he was this good at math?' she thought looking at the calculations. James stirred, letting out a deep breath and letting his left hand fall off of the table, scattering a few more papers. He still had on his glasses, but it looked like he had almost broken them during his sleep. Lily reached to him, took his glasses gently off of his head, repaired them, and laid them beside him on the papers.

As Lily turned to retreat up the stairs, something on the floor caught her eye. Turning back, she bent to pick up a paper that had been hidden under a Halloween Ball flyer. It was another drawing of her, no it was mini-drawings of her. These however, did not only have her in the picture, he was in it. It was a simple drawing, perhaps it resembled all he wanted, all he needed from her. They were laughing. She was leaning her head on his shoulder. He was kissing her forehead. They were laying in each others' arms. And finally, their hands were drawn together in the middle, each finger entwining with the others. She had been studying it for so long that she did not notice James open his eyes and fumble for his glasses to see what exactly Lily was doing in front of him.

Putting on his glasses, he saw what she had in her hands. He sat up, trying to pretend that he did not notice the particular paper she was studying.

"Lily? I thought you were sleeping in today?" he said with a stretch. The sudden movement brought her back to reality. She blinked, making sure she was awake and not dreaming.

"James! Oh, sorry, yeah I was, but I couldn't so I came down here to get my book. Well, here it is! I'll just be going now" she said quickly and started up the stairs.

"Lily? Lily!" James said calling after her. She continued to climb the stairs. Going into her room, she shut the door quietly, unsure of what she was feeling at the moment. She put her back against the door and slid down it, finally falling to the floor, holding her knees into her chest. She closed her eyes and began to breathe in one deep breath after another, hoping to find some realization in them.

It was then that a low tap came through her door, almost as if he was scared of the response he would get on the other side. Breathing in one last time, Lily stood up and slowly opened her door.

James looked as if he had murdered someone, he was so nervous of what Lily was feeling. He didn't know whether she would be angry, disappointed, or something completely different. He was prepared for the slap that he had gotten so many times, but once again, Lily surprised him.

She just looked at him, waiting for him to say something. Instinctively, his hand rushed to his hair. He always played with his hair when he was nervous.

"Um, Lily, do you have my drawing that I guess had fallen to the floor?" he asked quietly.

Lily extended her arm with the paper she had in her hand, silently. She was at a loss for words. She didn't want to open her mouth and say something to hurt his feelings, as she did so many times without knowing it. Trembling, she held it out for him to take. She didn't want to meet his eyes, she didn't know how they would read.

Seeing her shaking hand, James took the paper from her. He wondered why she didn't look at him, why she wouldn't say anything. It made him extremely nervous.

"Right, well, I guess I'll see you at lunch then" he whispered, a hand still in his hair. He looked at her one last time, trying to figure out her emotions, then walked to his room, where he threw himself on his bed. He tried to imagine every possible explanation for as to why she was acting like this, but none of them seemed logical. He finally decided on the theory that she was so angry with him that she couldn't bear to look or even speak to him. With this depressing theory, he got into the shower, trying to drown himself in misery.

/~/~/

Lily walked down to lunch early. She was hoping to eat and be back in her room before the Gryffindor quidditch team finished practice. Lily sighed in relief when she walked in the door and did not see any of them. 'Maybe my plan is actually working. Now to quickly grab some food and go back to my dorm' she thought to herself. She was just reaching the table when she felt someone jump on her back. Instinctively she jumped and pulled out her wand, until she realized who it was.

"But I don't care what they say! I'm in love with you, they try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth. My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing. You cut me open and IIIIIII" Fess sang as she jumped onto Lily's back and then jumped immediately back off of her. Lily turned around to say something to her when Fess continued to sing:

"I keep bleedin, keep keep bleedin love! Keep bleedin, keep keep bleedin love!" Fess was trying to get Lily to sing. Though Lily's intentions were to scold her for jumping on her, she couldn't help but laugh. The song was their new favorite. Fess was motioning to Lily to join in. She was at the 2nd verse by now, and on her knees singing. 'Typical Fess' Lily thought.

"Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud. Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt. Yet I know the goal is to keep me from falllleeeennnn!" Fess sang to Lily on her knees, she loved to make a show out of her singing.

"But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace. And in this world of loneliness I see your face. Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm goin craazzyyy, maybe, maybe. But I don't care what they say! I'm in love with you! They try to pull me away, but they dont know the truth! My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing!" Lily finally gave in, putting on just as much of a show as Fess.

Lily's singing was not exactly the most pleasant thing to hear, especially when singing this particular song. Her voice squeaked and rang throughout the hall, a few people covering their ears from the noise. Lily didn't care, she felt like letting go, of everything.

It was only after they had finished their song that James proceeded to walk to the table to sit with the rest of the marauders. After helping himself to pancakes, he looked at Sirius. He had been quiet all morning, which was extremely unusual.

"Hey, Padfoot, what's-"

"Hi darling!" Johanna said before sitting beside James and kissing him hard. James had actually forgotten all about his girlfriend, and about the day before. All of the memories came rushing back to him in that moment.

"What is wrong, Jamie?" Johanna asked as she pulled away, for he had not kissed her back.

"Sorry, you caught me off-guard. Still thinking about practice" he replied simply.

"Well, let me bring you back to reality then" she said swift fully before engulfing him in a long passionate kiss.

"Ahem, some of us are trying to eat here" Remus said loudly.

Johanna pulled away from James and glared at Moony. James was still in a daze, and not from the kiss, he could have cared less about that. He was still trying to remember everything that happened yesterday, then his mind came back to that morning. He groaned and slapped his head into his hands.

"Johanna, could you give me a minute with the guys, please? I need to talk to them. I'll meet you after breakfast" he said to her. Glaring at him, she left the table and returned to the Hufflepuff table.

"Padfoot, what's wrong, you've been sulking all morning" James asked him.

"It's nothing mate, women trouble" he said plainly.

"Ah, which women? They all find out about each other?" Remus asked, smiling.

"Not really, but then yes kind of, and then its just like wham, and where has this girl been hiding, and then shame, and annoyance, and then paradise" Sirius said in short but non-comprehendible phrases.

"Yeah, didn't understand any of that mate. Care to try again?" James asked him.

"Its like, I'm with one girl, thinking this has to be the best thing ever, then another girl comes along and as annoying and hateful and untouchable as I try to make out to be in my mind, she's amazing. Oh, this is a disaster" Sirius said, throwing his head in his hands, trying to explain more carefully.

James laughed and patted his best friend on the back. "It's ok mate, I think I know how you feel"

Fess was now on the floor laughing from Lily's singing, she knew how bad it was. "Wow, do you know how badly you sing? I mean honestly!" Fess said between catching her breath.

Lily huffed, putting her hands on her hips, trying to pretend to be mad at Fess: she was failing miserably. Her frown faltered as soon as she looked around to the teachers' table. Professor McGonagall was trying to keep herself composed, a smile playing at the ends of her lips, while Professor Dumbledore roared with laughter. He paused only for a moment to raise his goblet to Lily, as if saluting her for the best laugh he had had in a while.

Lily smiled. Who cared if she couldn't sing? Looking down to the rest of the tables, she caught James's eye. Sadly, the smile he had had on his face faltered, turning into nervousness as he immediately rushed his hand to his hair. A sudden feeling of guilt swept over Lily, she knew she had made him feel that way that morning. She continued to look at him, hoping to catch his eye again, but he never looked back up from his lunch.

Fess was pulling herself up off of the floor onto the bench to eat. Giving up on trying to get James's attention, Lily looked away and settled down beside Fess.

"So how was practice?" Lily asked.

"A bit boring actually. Until Mac hit a bludger towards James and knocked him off of his broom" Fess put her finger to her chin, "it was honestly the funniest thing I have seen in a few weeks, now that I look back on it. Oh well. So how was your morning? Sneak into Hogsmeade or do anything exciting?" Fess asked getting a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No. Did some reading, though" Lily said packing her plate with broccoli.

"Ahh. Pride and Prejudice, I presume? "

"Of course. Why aren't there guys like Mr. Darcy?" Lily asked.

"There are. You just have to realize who the real ones are and strike out the posers"

Lily pondered over this for a moment while she chewed on a slice of apple. It was then she felt eyes on her. Glancing carefully, she swore she saw James looking her way. 'Flicker of the light on his glasses,' she thought. She didn't blame him if he hated her after this morning. She had acted completely….blank. Giving him no inclination as to how she felt about him. She had never been blank before when it came to words or feelings. She was always sure about how she felt in every moment. Not now. It wasn't like her to have to second guess her actions or thoughts. Dammit, Potter! How did he do this to her! She only remembered one other time when she had completely lost all knowledge of her surroundings…. 'Oh no,' Lily thought.

"Fess, I think I'm going to see Madam Pomfrey, sudden….. Nausea" Lily said quickly before pushing her plate away from her and scrambling away from the table as fast as she could.

"Lils? You ok? Whats-" Fess started, but Lily had already walked off. "Ok, I guess I'll just sit here and talk to myself for the remainder of my lunch" she said under her breath.

Remus scooted closer to Fess after watching Lily leave so abruptly.

"She ok?" he asked.

"No idea. We were talking about Pride and Prejudice when she all of sudden got a sudden whim and left. Said she was going to see Pomfrey" Fess said picking at her remaining vegetables on her plate.

"Pride and Prejudice? That's not really a nauseating subject" he said thoughtfully.

"That's what I thought. She had just asked why there weren't any guys in the world like Mr. Darcy and - Oh no" Fess said pausing.

"What? You too?" Remus said disbelievingly.

"No! I'm fine. It's…. complicated" Fess said shoving her plate away from her and looking around the Great Hall.

"Looking for someone?" he asked, bewildered by her suddenness.

"Kind of. Look, I'll try to explain later. See you in the Common Room?" Fess asked as she got up from her lunch and left without waiting for an answer.


	8. Waking Up to a Nightmare

Lily had walked quickly out of the Great Hall, ignoring Fess's confusion. She hoped she didn't run into him, oh she really hoped she didn't run into him. Not here, not now. She didn't need his crap now. She had been dodging him since returning this year. It hadn't been hard, seeing as he had been ignoring her also. But, he usually followed her if he ever saw her upset, and she was pretty sure he had seen her. Even thought she wasn't upset, he would interpret it as that.

"Lily" someone said from behind her.

She quickened her pace, hoping he would give up and leave her.

"Lily, please, stop. I want to talk to you" he said as he quickened his pace to match hers. She let her hair fall around her face so that he could not look at her.

"Li-Li, talk to me. Turn around, please" he said touching her hand, his words whispered. She whirled around, snatching her hand back from his greasiness.

"What, you can be seen with me now? Or no, wait, this corridor seems to be deserted. Oh, and look, you're talking in whispers so that none of your friends discover you talking to the Mudblood" Lily said sarcastically, loathing clearly evident in her voice.

Snape breathed in deeply, as if taking in her scent for the first time. "Lily, I'm sorry about that. I just want to talk to you, like we used to talk. I saw you run out of there, I thought something was wrong" he said moving closer to her.

She stepped back in disgust. "Well, you should have thought about our friendship before you… one: became a Death Eater, two: called me a mud blood, three: never took up for me in front of your friends, four: cursed some of my best friends, five: -"

"Please, stop" he whispered, holding up his hand in surrender.

"No, Snape. You want us to be friends again after you've done all of this stuff but, I just cant do it. How do you expect us to go back to the way things were?" she asked incredulously.

"Lily, if you would just listen to me, give me a chance. I can explain everything" he said stepping closer again.

"No, I don't think I will" Lily said before turning her back and stepping down a step.

Snape grabbed her arm firmly, whirling her around to face him on the steps. There was frustration in his eyes, as well as a few things she did not want to see in there. She felt like he was stripping her down in his mind.

Blinking a few times, she tried to break his stare while also attempting to writher out of his grasp. No such luck.

"Lily, I am tired of trying to explain things to you! You always used to come running back to me whenever one of the Marauders or the Riddle girl did something to annoy you or make you mad. Now you're best friends with them? I bet Potter has you falling at his feet by now. I hope you like being just another one of his sex toys" Snape hissed at her.

Tears were welling in Lily's eyes, her whole body had started shaking, anger and sadness building up in her to almost its breaking point. Snape knew the effect he was having on her, he could see it in her eyes as she stared back at him, nothing to say.

"You know, you're not worth my time anymore. I don't know why I even bother. Mudblood" he said tossing her arm away from him and swiftly walking away from her.

Lily couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She knew she couldn't handle this. Why did he have to come now? Why? She had almost convinced herself that maybe he had given up on getting her friendship back. Almost. She knew better. He was like a leech. Only he had never insulted her before when it was only them talking. In public, sure, he would insult her every chance he got. But never behind closed doors. He had always been there. Always been in the shadows of her life. Someone she knew she could count on if she ever needed him. Except now. He had befriended her before she even knew what Hogwarts was.

She fell. Fell to the stone steps beneath her. She couldn't feel anything anymore. Lightheadedness took over her body as she tried to open her eyes and concentrate. She couldn't count her fingers. She couldn't see her feet. She heard the echoes of students' voices as they climbed the stairs above her. She heard her heart thumping wildly in her chest, along with her ragged breath. Her head drooped. She slumped over. Loosing all consciousness, she tumbled down the long flight of steps to the next floor landing.

Fess ran out of the Great Hall without hearing Remus's reply. Stepping out of the double-doors she searched furiously down both hallways to her left and right for Lily. After a few minutes of jumping up and down, trying to see over the crowd of people, she finally spotted her at the top of the stairs to her right. Snape was talking to her. Though it looked like he was going to kill her. Fess watched as he grabbed her arm, snatching her back to him, telling her something, then walking away.

Fess felt like she was watching the next part in slow motion as she watched Lily fall to the steps, then slowly tumble down the rest of them. As soon as she saw Lily fall to the steps, she took off running. She knew Lily was hyperventilating and would more than likely pass out in a minute.

Fess ran down the steps to her, reaching her about 3 seconds after the hit the landing. There were a few on-lookers from the floors above, though Fess paid little attention to them. She knelt down beside Lily and tried to wake her.

"Lils! Lily! Wake up! Come on! It's over, come on, wake up. Lily flower! Come on!" Fess said as she lightly slapped the side of Lily's face, trying to wake her.

"Great, now you defiantly have to go to the hospital wing" Fess said before hoisting the unconscious Lily on her shoulder. "Geez, Lils, remind me tell you to keep away from the doughnuts for a few days" she said under her breath.

Fess carried Lily to the hospital wing to Madame Pomfrey, who in turn immediately gave Lily a potion for dizziness, and tried to regulate her breathing. She ordered that Lily spend the rest of the day resting and told Fess that Lily should be awake and able to leave after dinner. At this, Madame Pomfrey ushered Fess out of the hospital wing, yelling back at her that Lily was to have no visitors.

With this, Fess left in a fury to find the cause of the whole situation.

"James" Fess said trying to sound calm, but failing.

James looked up from the book he had been studying when he heard her jagged breath. "Ok there, Fess?" he asked.

"Not really. I need to borrow your map. Now" she said, her hands on her hips, looking absently around the room. She was trying her hardest not to seem desperate, she knew James would start asking questions.

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

"I just-I just need it, James" she said impatiently.

"No"

"What?"

"No. Not until you tell me why you need it" he said getting up from his cozy chair.

"I can't"

"Why?"

"I just cant! Ok? Now will you please just give me the bloody map before I turn you into a frog?" she said shaking.

James looked at her intently. He wasn't stupid. "Fine, but don't get mad if you see me trailing you" he said getting the map from his back pocket and handing it to her. She grabbed it, but he still held on.

"Give me the damn map, Potter" she whispered. He let go. She never called him Potter. Watching her go out of the portrait hole, silently, he swept back upstairs and grabbed his invisibility cloak before following her.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" Fess whispered while tapping the map with her wand. Ink spread all over the parchment showing every nook and cranny of the Hogwarts grounds. Unfolding it, she saw her own dot and then noticed James's dot a few feet behind her.

"You can follow me all you want James, but if you interfere, I may have to curse you also" she said aloud before rolling up the map and walking down the corridor to the down stairs.

She found his dot near the dungeons. Typical of a Slytherin. Always in their little sanctuary. Plotting evil schemes, no doubt. Fess knew if he was in his dorm that she would have to wait for someone to come to the door before slipping in. But maybe, if she beat him before he went into the common room…

At this she broke out into a run. James struggled to keep up with the cloak over him. He noticed she was heading towards the Slytherin common room and found this disturbing. Suddenly, he wished he knew where Lily was. Or why Fess was so upset with one of the Slytherins. And why was she threatening to curse him if he interfered?

Fess slowed down as she reached the dungeons. She didn't want to run past him. After standing at the end of the corridor and searching through the mass of students in the hallway (why were there so many students down here?) she finally spotted him.

Picking up her pace, she sauntered, without even thinking, right up to him. She pulled out her wand a step from him and threw him onto the wall about 7 feet up in the air, his back on the wall, and her wand at his throat.

He was scared stiff. Or maybe it was just that he couldn't move at that altitude.

Snape sneered. A look of pure loathing mixed with severe fear played on his face.

"Well, well, isn't this a nice surprise. Princess of Evil come to kill me? Or maybe you've come to offer me an award" he snapped at her.

"Don't try your tricks on me, Snivellus. I'm not that weak" she replied.

"Oh, please. So what are you here for? Avenging your beloved best friend?"

"Maybe I am. You think anyone would even notice if I permanently stuck you to the Whomping Willow? Wait, no one cares about you. So I guess I could commit the murder myself right here and probably get an award for special services to the school" she said pushing her wand even further into his neck.

"I don't know, Riddle, you might loose your best friend if you murdered me. Just look what happened earlier. She'll never move on" he sneered at her.

"No, I think that's your problem. You are the one that will never move on. You think she worships the ground you walk on just because you were nice to her when you both first came to school. Just because you were the first person she ever had any feelings for. You think she will be yours no matter how evil you become. Newsflash Snivellus: she has moved on"

"Really? So her episode today was what? An illusion?"

"You're a real bastard, you know that?"

"And you're a liar and a coward" he said simply to her.

Fess's mind went in a whirl. She didn't even know what the spell was that she said in her mind but whatever it was started choking him instantly.

He grabbed her wand frantically, gasping for air.

"Say that again" she whispered.

"Let me down! Stop it!" he said, barely a whisper, throwing his arms frantically.

Abruptly, she let go of every curse she had on him and he fell fast to the stone floor beneath him. Fess breathed in deep, looking at the pile of scum on the floor.

"You aren't even worth it" she whispered before turning and walking away. Suddenly, her feet came out from underneath her. She fell flat on her back. Someone screamed. Sitting up, Fess saw a small boy in front of her start gushing blood. James appeared from no where and had his wand pointed behind Fess. She heard someone running frantically behind her.

"You come back here, you coward! You bastard! You-" James was yelling.

"James! There's no time for him! The kid!" Fess said grabbing James's arm. James fought his urge to run after Snape and turned around to run to the boy who had been hit with the curse. He was laying on the cold stone spurting up blood, a blank look in his eyes. Blood gushed from his chest, as if he had been slashed open.

"Holy shit. What did he use?" Fess asked James.

"Sectumsempra. He was aiming at you and I tripped you. I wish I had jumped out in time before it hit him" James said kneeling beside the boy.

"Come on, we have to get him to the hospital wing"

James hoisted the boy in his arms and they both ran as fast as they could up the stairs to the hospital wing.


	9. It's Not a Game

"So the kid's going to be ok?" Sirius asked the next morning at breakfast.

"Yeah, Madame Pomfrey says she was able to reverse the spell in time. Kid just needs a couple of days rest and he'll be as good as new!" James exclaimed excitedly. He glanced over at Lily, who was barely touching her breakfast. She slowly twirled her spoon around in the cereal she was eating, one elbow on the table, head resting in hand.

James thought back to the last time they spoke to each other, how great the night before had been and how awkward things had gotten. He wondered what she really thought of the drawing. Why would she not look at him? It was just a drawing.

Lily glanced around the table, pretending to be interested in what Remus was saying about their potions homework. Catching James's eye, she knew what he was thinking. He wanted to know why she would not speak to him. Honestly, she wasn't sure why either, she did however know that the fluttering in her stomach when she saw the picture made her anxious.

"So, James, where's the little woman this morning? Usually by now we would all be throwing up what we had just devoured" Fess said, popping grapes into her mouth.

"Honestly, I have no clue. She was rather upset about yesterday. Ah, there she is" he said as Johanna walked up behind him.

"Yes. Yes, I was rather upset about yesterday, but that's all behind us now Jamesie! Nothing that miniscule could come between our love. Don't you want to go up to your room?" Johanna whispered.

"Hey, yeah, um, excuse me," Fess said, "when your are saying something like that to your boyfriend, look at him and not his best friend…Kind of gives it away" she said nonchalantly.

Sirius dropped his fork and nearly choked on his food, Johanna froze, giving Fess her best "deer in the headlights" impersonation.

"Oh wait, did I say that outloud? I'm so not sorry" Fess said, ending with a coy smile.

James looked at Sirius, waiting for a response.

"Alright, well, I'm done with my breakfast, time for me to go now. I'll see you guys in class" Sirius said, getting up from the table and rushing quickly away.

Fess chased after him, "Black! Black! Sirius!"

"I don't want to talk to you, Fess" he said, rounding on her. She stopped abruptly, his tone taking her by surprise.

"Sirius, wait-" she began.

"No, do you have any idea what you could have done back there? Do you not care at all about mine and James's friendship? Why can't you let me tell him? Why do you always have to go and ruin everything?"

"Me? You're going to blame this on me? I'm not the one sneaking around the castle with my best friend's girlfriend! And I hate to tell you, Black, but he knows. He already knows" she said

Sirius stared at her in disbelief. "You told him?"

"Of course I told him"

"Why hasn't he asked me about it? Confronted me?"

"Because he thinks that you'll be the bigger man and quit her. Quit her because you care more about your best friend than you do some girl. And then tell him yourself instead of him having to ask. He thinks that much of you, Black. I can hardly say the same" she whispered the last bit, walking away slowly, then picking up her pace.

James walked around the corner, feeling the wind pass by him as Fess picked up her walking pace. He looked to see what she was running from, and seeing Sirius standing at the end of the hall, he knew. Both of them knew what they were about to hear from the other. James slowly walked to meet Sirius.

"So you know?" Sirius said ashamedly.

"You tell me" James said, hands in his pockets.

"It's true. I've been shagging your girlfriend, mate" Sirius waited for the yelling, the punch in the face, anything, and he heard the one thing he never expected to hear. Laughter.

James snickered at him, then burst into full on laughter.

"What. Are. You. On. About? This is serious, mate! I'm trying to clear my conscience and you're laughing at me?" Sirius exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, mate, it was just the way you said it! "I'm shagging your girlfriend" Haha! I've known for a few days. Just waiting on you to tell me" James said still chuckling.

"So, what? No punch in the face, no silent treatment, what's going on?" Sirius asked.

"No, no, no. I've only dated the girl for a little over a week, why would I be pissed at you? I mean I like the girl, but I don't like her enough for her to get in the way of our friendship. We're Marauders, girls don't get in the way of that"

It was like music to Sirius's ears. Showing his soft side, he engulfed his best mate in a hug.

"Oh thank you Prongsie!" Sirius said happily.

James shook his head slightly, "Next time, it's your ass though"

Sirius looked scared for a moment, "Mate, I'm not about to attempt to shag Evans, so I don't think you have anything to worry about" he said clapping him on the back as they strode to potions together.

"While we are on the subject of shagging, what did you do to my cousin the other night?" James asked.

Sirius looked around innocently, "Me? I didn't do anything! Well, ikissedher" he mumbled.

"What was that? You snogged her? And today you act like it didn't happen"

"What are you a girl now? It was kind of…..in the moment. I don't know what to think about it exactly. I haven't sorted it out yet" Sirius said running a hand through his hair.

"I know what you mean. Evans still hasn't spoken to me"

"What did you do?"

"I didn't necessarily do anything…she just found one of my drawings of her and I guess sort of freaked out. I'm not sure what to think"

"You're drawings are really good, mate. Have you asked her?"

"No, I haven't. With everything that happened yesterday and with the carnival, I just haven't had time"

They walked into potions to find Professor Slughorn already hard at work on today's lecture. They sat down in their usual seats, taking out their books, hoping not to draw much attention to their tardiness. The hour dragged on, with Lily answering every question flawlessly, Slughorn doting on her every word.

Classes like these made James weak, she was so cute when her face lit up at the realization that she knew the answer. She would always blush when Slughorn told her she was brilliant, which meant by the time class let out, her face was almost the color of her hair. James wished he could have this effect on her, except at the moment he couldn't even get her to look at him, much less be able to make her blush. When it came time for them to divide into groups and work on their potions, he rose from his desk with the others, and walked to the cupboard to gather his ingredients.

Lily felt his eyes on her through the class, making her blush even more than usual. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she walked to the cupboard, keeping her eyes on the floor so as to not catch his. He was already there, standing in the corner, collecting a few specimens from the top shelf. She could smell him from the front of the stores, closing her eyes, she thought of his hands on her, feeling every crevice of her body. An arm brushed her side, interrupting her thoughts, she silently cursed them until she looked up to see James reaching for something beside her. She automatically put her guard up. She was supposed to be upset at him, right? But for what reason?

"Potter" she said softly.

James straightened up, looking confused, "Evans" he whispered, looking in her eyes. Slowly he turned, walking back to his seat slowly. Lily mentally slapped herself, gathered her ingredients, and walked back to her seat, sulking the rest of class.

James walked into his common room after quidditch pitch that night. He was tired, his muscles ached from the 4 hours of practice. The last thing he needed was Lily Evans standing in the middle of the room like she was going to give his the lecture of his life.

James hardly had enough energy to look at her, he merely raised his eyebrows.

Lily huffed, "What are you playing at Potter?"

James blinked. "Sorry?"

"What are you playing at? Where are all of the schedules and papers we did for the carnival? I need to make flyers! Can you do anything right? These flyers have to be put up! I have to decorate them, I need to give people schedules, I need to make a map of where everything is going to be set up! I need volunteers! And what are you doing? Out snogging your cheating whore of a girlfriend? Do you not care about being head boy? What have-"

James cut her off, "Evans, you have the schedule. I gave it to you the morning that you saw….I-well-you have it ok? As for flyers, all you have to do is ask for my help and I'll help! Volunteers, do you not think that the prefects can help out? And I broke up with Johanna at dinner…sorry you missed her temper tantrum. I had quidditch practice, if you must know. Anything else, your highness?" he responded calmly.

She wished she had something to respond with. Truth was, the only reason she was yelling at him was because she didn't know how else to start a conversation with him when she was supposed to be mad. He hung his head low, slowly walking towards the couch when she didn't respond. "I'm sorry" she said quietly.

"What was that?" James asked turning as much as he could in the couch.

"I said I'm sorry, ok?"

"No, I'm not ok with it if you don't mean it" he said questionably.

"I do mean it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of not being serious about Head Boy. I know you care" she whispered, playing with her hands anxiously. Looking up, she saw him staring at her. Quickly, she started talking again, afraid of what he might be thinking.

"I know you get tired of my bitching, and how I'm ok with us being friends one minute, and the next I'm screaming at you or completely ignoring you. I don't know what it is about you, but you are the only person that makes me feel this…frustrated! Sometimes I just want to throw you off of the astronomy tower and then the next moment I want to laugh at your joke! You're such a twat, James Po-" she wished should could have caught her breath, or atleast been standing next to a wall or desk, for as soon as James Potter kissed her, her knees weakened, all of her breath escaped her, and she completely lost focus of everything around her.

It wasn't like their last kiss. This kiss felt real, not just out of lust or sexual tension, but anxious, like it was their last moment on earth, and all James wanted was to kiss her. Lily felt James's lips tremble beneath hers as she raked her tongue across his lips, wanting access. He obliged, entwining a hand underneath her hair. She almost wished at that moment she hadn't deepened the kiss, for when his hands touched the hair on her neck, her heart skipped, warmth ran throughout her entire body, a feeling she never experience before.

James had no idea what made him get off of the couch, but he was glad he did it. He didn't want to let on that he was scared to death that she was going to abruptly stop and slap him across the face, but he knew she felt him tremble. Still kissing her, he led her over to the couch. Sitting, he pulled her onto his lap, where she straddled him. It was until now that he had completely forgotten about the beating he had taken at quidditch today. He gasped, and stopped abruptly.

"What? What did I do?" Lily asked bewildered. James couldn't help but smile at how concerned she had just become.

"Your knee, it just grazed my side wrong. Damn quidditch" he said, cursing the quidditch gods.

"What? Let me see"

James slowly lifted his shirt to reveal a bludger-sized bruise on his side, just between his ribs and hip. "James…that looks terrible" she whispered.

"It's nothing, I just have to sleep it off, I'll be fine in the morning" he said slowly, letting his shirt fall on its own. Lily lifted it back up.

"James, this isn't the only bruise! Did they try to kill you? What the bloody hell?" she said.

"Lily, I said I'm fine! Ive always had bruises from quidditch" he tried to reason with her.

"James, shut up. I'll be back" she said hopping off of the couch and running up the stairs. James took a deep breath, letting his head fall to the back of the couch. When she returned, she was carrying a jar of cream.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Bruising cream. Really soothes aching and bruised muscles. I always use when I go home for the summer…Dance class" she added when James looked at her quizzically. James sighed, giving in to her madness. She was going to be the death of him.

She unscrewed the lid to the jar, watching James take his shirt off. He turned around, back to her, giving her access to any bruises back there. "It might be a bit cold" she said softly.

"Right. When is cream not-ah! That's cold!" he said like a girl. She chuckled.

"I told you it was cold!"

She slowly worked the cream onto his shoulder, feeling every curvature of his toned muscles. Tracing his spine, she slowly circled her finger around a small bruise on the small of his back, letting the cream work itself in. She could feel the heat of his body under her fingertips, his breath jagged and wavering as she touched him. Working her way over to the bruise on his side, she felt him wince.

"I promise I'll be gentle" she whispered. "I know" he said seriously. James had to focus solely on not turning around and pouncing on her. Every time she touched him it was driving him wild. The circles she was drawing on his hip made him wince, but only slightly, he told himself it was the stinging pains of love. A love he knew he was only kidding himself thinking he could have. No matter how many times they ended up like this, his confidence was still diminished by the past 6 years of chasing her. He didn't think he would ever actually be able to call her his own.

"James?"

"Hm?"

"Have you always had a love for drawing?" she asked, not taking her eyes off of the place she was putting cream on.

He was caught off guard, "Yeah. Kind of lets me escape from reality a bit"

"Oh, they were very good…." she said, finishing up with the cream. She smiled slightly as she screwed the lid back on.

"So, I should be as good as new tomorrow?" he asked standing.

"Yeah, I think so. So tomorrow….we have to give prefects their jobs for the carnival, give Dumbledore the schedule, tell the house elves what to cook for each event…and what else? I cant believe Halloween is next Friday!" Lily said to him.

"Right. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it. You know more about everything that's going on. Where do you want the marauders?" he asked.

"Sirius is most definitely on karaoke night. He's going to suffer through Fess's singing all night, and it's going to be hilarious. Lupin…well, we can ask him what he wants to do, he can have first choice. Peter can be in charge of the candy booth" she said simply.

James laughed at the thought of Peter being at the candy booth, "He'll eat all the candy!"

Lily laughed also, proceeding to walk towards the stairs, then turning towards James, "Goodnight, James"

"'Night Lily" he said, watching her walk up the stairs.

"Hey, Lily!" he yelled after her, running up a few of them.

"What?"

"Um, about tonight…Thanks for the cream. My side already feels better"

"Your welcome"

"Oh and Lily?" he said, this time running up to her landing.

"Yes, James?"

"What…I mean, was that…are we…-" James couldn't right out ask about the kiss. He feared her sure answer.

"I don't know. I'm still confused. I cant just pretend like the last 6 years didn't happen…I'm sorry. Its selfish, but Im not ready. I just cant, James" she said softly, keeping her head down. She couldn't bear to look at his eyes right now, she knew the hurt she had just put him through, all over again.

"Right. Goodnight, Lily" James said, choking back his emotions, and walking into his room.


	10. Carnival Day One: Monday Madness

Carnival Day 1: Monday

"Is everything ready this afternoon, Ms. Evans? I know you've been working hard all evening!" Professor McGonagall asked her the day of the festival opening.

"Hm, what? Oh! Professor! I'm so sorry, my mind is everywhere today! Yes! I do believe everything is ready. Just waiting on everyone to get out of their evening classes!" Lily said, frazzled.

"Good, good. I think I'll go see if Professor Dumbledore is ready to come down and join the festivities!" McGonagall said before strolling away.

Lily's chest was heavy, she was so anxious for everything to start, just so she would know she was done planning. Her mind raced with thoughts of doubt and fear of everything going wrong.

"Hey Lils!" someone yelled from the entrance. She turned to find Fess walking towards her.

"Hey!"

"The place looks great! I have no idea how the hell you pulled it off, but I think you did! Where's James?" Fess said looking around excitedly.

"Not sure. He hasn't really said much to me in a couple of days. Maybe he's waiting on the guys in the common room or something" Lily said.

"Right. So, what event is first?"

"It is Monday Madness. So in here we will have the normal little games and things, and these will be in here everyday, but every night the events are on the quidditch pitch. So, Monday Madness is James's concept. I'm not really sure I understand the whole concept…he said it would be kind of like-"

"A paint party" James interrupted from behind her.

"Yes, and who knew a wizard would know what a paint party was" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, Fess likes paint parties, also likes to drag me to them every summer. Recently I acquired a liking for them, therefore, paint party on the quidditch pitch" he said gesturing towards the pitch.

"So why is it called 'Monday Madness'" Fess asked.

"I've been asking the same thing" Sirius said.

"Because were wizards…it'll be like a cross between paintball and paint party, which is utter and complete madness" Lily said.

"paintball?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, muggles use guns that propel balls of paint towards each other and call it fun. You can use a gun on your best friend, shoot them, and then they are out of the game" Lily explained to him.

"So how is this party like paintball?" Fess asked.

"Why…we'll be shooting paint at each other with out wands…but don't worry, no one is "out" once they are hit. We'll be judging for the person with the most different colors of paint on them. That's who will win. Other than that, it's just a paint party!" James said throwing his hands in the air like someone had just made a touchdown.

"Hell yeah! So when does this said Monday Madness begin?" Fess asked.

"At 10, Dumbledore gave us permission to let the 6th&7th years be out past dark. A few of the prefects that didn't want to attend will be on patrol" Lily said smiling widely. She was so happy that this week was finally happening. She turned around, noticing the students starting to stroll in, enchanted looks on their faces.

"Everyone! Welcome to our Halloween Carnival! I hope you all enjoy the many festivities that our Head Boy and Girl have produced! I dare say, I am! Now, let the festivities begin!" Dumbledore announced from the front of the room. Clapping his hands once, he turned the candles into pumpkins and the tables disappeared from the sides of the room so as to give the students more room than they had.

Grabbing Fess's arm, Lily ran with her, smiling the whole way to one of the booths. After a couple of hours of playing various muggle carnival games, the lot of them retired to the common room, the girls wanting to change clothes before 'Monday Madness.'

After changing, the girls came downstairs, both in sweats and tanks, determined to be able to run as quickly as possible. James looked up as they descended down, the pair of them laughing, Lily's hair falling in her face when she looked down. He had also changed pants, determining that the slacks he was wearing would hinder his running.

"What are you two on about?" he asked as the girls reached the bottom of the stairs.

"That is none of your concern Mr. Potter" Lily said straightening up.

James stood tall, sticking out his chest, "Mr. Potter, do you say? Well, that sounds right dapper. Oi! Moony! I've just been called Mr. Potter!"

"And here I thought your ego had been diminished at the beginning of term. I stand corrected" Remus said shaking his head.

"James? Ego? Who said he had an ego?" Fess asked jokingly.

"Who has eggo's?" Sirius asked jumping on the couch excitedly.

They all burst into laughter. Sirius looked confused. "Mate, you really need your hearing checked!" James said through laughs.

Becoming frustrated with everyone laughing at him, Sirius huffed, "Can we-can we just-just get on to the pitch then? Please?"

"Sure, Padfoot, sure" Remus said clapping him on the back, still laughing.

They walked down to the pitch where they found an enormous amount of people waiting on them. "I think we're late" Lily said to James. James smiled at the good mood she was in. They walked to the front of the crowd, everyone staring at them.

"So how are we starting this?" James whispered.

"You mean you hadn't worked that part out yet?" Lily whispered back.

"No, no I hadn't actually. I was hoping you had," James said honestly.

"Hmph" Lily huffed walking a few feet from James. Swirling around quickly, she aimed quickly at James's chest, sending a whirling emerald paint splatter at him.

Catching him off-guard James screamed like a girl, then said "Oi!" and sent a shot at Lily. She leaned quickly so as to miss it, but her long hair, caught in the wind, was the receiver of James's ruby splat.

"You're dead, Potter!" she said and at that the rest of the students sent shots firing every way possible. Lily sped off after James, both of them sending paint at each other.

"Padfoot, you look dull, mate!" James said as he ran past Sirius, sending a shot his way. Catching him on the back of his shirt, Sirius felt three more shots hit him. Remus being his closest target, Sirius sent a bolt of his slate-colored paint towards him, covering his shoulder in it.

Lily looked around after chasing James for a couple of minutes and just started firing shots at random. Laughing and screaming, she made her way back to the front where she found Fess dueling with Remus, Sirius firing at everyone, and James no where to be found. Sending a shot towards Fess, she soon found herself in a 4-way battle, and she was losing, badly.

"Ah! Remus!" she screamed, firing shots his way.

"Oi Evans! That's the second time you've hit me in the chest!" James jokingly said to her, as he had stepped into the battle at the wrong time.

Without thinking, Lily revved back, and fired again at him, this time hitting his face.

James paused, standing there like a statue, "Nice, real nice, Lily. You have officially blinded me!" he joked, taking off his now emerald stained glasses. He was blind as a bat without them.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry James!" she said running over to him, taking his glasses from his hands, attempting to clean them.

"You're not going to be able to clean them until the game ends. You know this, you made the rules" he said sweetly.

She tried feverishly to clean his glasses, failing miserably. James smirked at her, laughing under his breath. He shook his head, and reached up to her hand that was holding the glasses. Lily was taken aback by the feel of his rough, callused hand on hers, his fingertips were warm, inviting, comforting. She looked up at his face, and for the first time truly seeing James's hazel eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, until Lily started giggling.

James looked behind him, to the sides of him, he wished he had a mirror, 'what was she laughing at?' he thought.

"Oh James, I'm terribly sorry! It's just…its just your face! I'm afraid you look rather like a Slytherin at the moment!" she said through her roars of laughter.

"WHAT?" he yelled, "Great, I cant see, and I look like a Slytherin. My reputation is over! The ego is diminished! The Great James Potter is done! You have officially taken my pride, Lily Evans, I do hope you are happy!" he said regally, taking steps back, waving to the crowd that was paying him no mind. He walked to the edge of the pitch, climbed up a few flights of stairs, and sat down in the bleachers, watching the students below him shoot paint at each other. Although most of it was a blur, he could hear them laughing and screaming.

"Come up here to hide? I'm surprised you made it up the stairs, what with no glasses and all that ego from tonight" Lily joked, standing at the top of the stairwell.

James smiled, "I'm actually surprised, myself, that I made it up the stairs without my glasses. I can hardly see you" he replied.

She walked over to him and sat beside him, "Can you see me now?"

"Mmm, not quite, you'll have to get closer"

"Now?"

"No, still closer"

"How about now?"

"I'm blind as a bat, Lily, remember?" James said to her. Lily moved so that her nose was an inch from his, "Now?" she whispered.

"You know from this angle, you have…..12 freckles on your nose" James whispered back to her. She playfully hit him on the arm, laughing, then laid her chin on his shoulder, their foreheads touching.

"What are we going to do, James?"

"Well, I can think of a couple of things…What are you suggesting?" he replied. Again hitting his arm, she said, "I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about, what are we going to do? With the war going on and everything" she said solemly.

"Were going to fight. We are going to fight because we have something to fight for and because we don't give up. And I won't let them take you away just because of who you are" he said proudly.

"True Gryffindor, aye?" she said.

"I like to think so" he said straightening up, smiling. He then took the opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist, carefully, scared of her reaction. When she didn't give a negative response, but instead scooted closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, James almost jumped in excitement. His stomach got the little butterflies again that he sometimes wished would go away. Not tonight. Tonight he welcomed the butterflies, they told him something was actually happening, it wasn't just some dream, it was real.

/


	11. Carnival Day Two: Karaoke Night

Carnival Day 2: Tuesday

James woke up to the reflection of the sun rising off of the lake, as it rose, it bounced off of the red hair laying on his lap. Realizing both of his feet were asleep from hanging off of the bleecher the whole night, he attempted to wiggle them slowly without waking Lily up.

"Mmm?" she mumbled, stirring slightly. Instead of waking up, she snuggled further into James lap, getting comfortable. James smiled to himself, taking in the moment, he knew it would be short-lived. Seeing his glasses beside him, he wiped off the green paint from the night before, as the spell was gone by now. As he put them on, he heard Lily mumble something.

'-mes….James…"she mumbled. Taken aback, he looked at her quizzically, until he felt his pocket grow warm. His mirror. Pulling it out, he saw Sirius's face on the other side.

"Prongs! You're alive!" Sirius practically yelled through the mirror.

"Shh!" James said putting a finger to his lips. "I'm kind of busy at the moment mate, Lily's still asleep" he whispered to him.

Sirius raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh bugger off! And NO we did not do anything! We just fell asleep!" James said to his best friend.

Sirius had propped the mirror against something and was now dancing in front of it, making grinding movements with his hips. James couldn't help but laugh at him. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head at Sirius.

"Mate, you're insane. I'll see you at breakfast" James said before putting the mirror back in his pocket. The noise had apparently been enough to wake Lily. He felt her body tense as she woke. Sitting up, she looked around, confused, then she saw James smiling at her.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty" he said to her. Her hair was matted in different places from the paint, sticking up in a cowl-lick on the right side, and flat to her head on the left where she had been laying. The eye makeup she did have on was now smokier than the night before, her tank was nearly falling off of her as she sat up more, taking in the scene in front of her.

She looked at him quizzically, puffing out her bottom lip, "How do you know who Sleeping Beauty is?" she asked.

"Fess. Damn girl loves muggle fairy tales. I blame you" he said simply.

She gave him the best crooked smile she could muster, "Sleeping Beauty had better hair in the mornings" she mumbled. She looked round at the quidditch pitch, how the sun was hitting each tower perfectly, then almost fell back to sleep. James woke her up by shooting water at her from his wand.

"James Potter. You are going to pay for that later. Right now, I don't have the energy" she said sleepily. She yawned, stood up and stretched her arms as wide as she could, arching her back with it.

"Don't look at me like that, James. I know what you're thinking" she said grinning, picking up her wand, and heading towards the stairs.

James jumped up, eager to talk to this Lily, the morning Lily, a Lily he'd never talked to before.

"Really? And what would that be?" he asked walking behind her on the stairs.

"How far can I arch my back?" she said smirking.

He laughed, "And how far would that be, exactly"

She stopped on the stairs, turning around to face him, "Wouldn't you like to know?" she asked him with the devil's grin on her face, then turned to continue walking down the stairs. He smiled, running his hand through his hair, watching her walk down. 'This woman will be the death of me' he thought to himself, sighing heavily.

After his shower, he headed down to breakfast, quite pleased with himself. He walked proudly into the Great Hall, smiling lightly the whole way. Finding the rest of the marauders, he sat beside Remus, who was reading the Daily Prophet.

Sirius spit in his orange juice, laughing at him.

"Someone is pleased with himself this morning" Remus suggested, continuing to look at the paper. James sighed, helping himself to a large stack of pancakes.

"It's a good day, boys. A good day. Did you cut your hair, Wormtail?" James said happily.

"Yes! I did!" Peter told him.

"Looks good, mate! You might get a girl this year after all!" James told him, shoving pancakes in his mouth. Sirius choked on his juice this time. Remus looked at him over his paper, raising his eyebrows.

"Prongs, what the bloody hell did she do to you last night?" Sirius asked with a hoarse, strained voice, recovering from choking.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" James replied with a grin.

"What did who do to you last night? You spent the night with Lily, James?" Remus asked, putting his paper completely down.

"No idea what you two are on about" he replied again.

"Bloody hell, Prongs. What did she do?" Peter asked.

James laughed, shaking his head, "Nothing, literally, nothing. We just had a normal conversation and fell asleep on the pitch. It's nothing" James finally told them.

"The small things please you too much, mate" Sirius said.

"Padfoot, you know how long it's taken him to get her to at least not hate him, much less let James touch her. Let him have his moment" Remus said going back to his paper.

James grinned widely at this statement, mouth full of food. Sirius shook his head, laughing at him. "So where's Red at now?" he asked James.

"Not sure. I just took my shower and came down. I haven't seen Fess this morning either, have you?" he asked. Sirius turned his head, rubbing his neck, then running the hand through his hair, nervously. James looked curiously at him.

"Sirius…" he started slowly.

"I didn't…I mean…it just…I don't know…what" Sirius stuttered, burying his head in his hands.

"What did you do, Padfoot" Remus said slowly.

"I may have seen Fess this morning…" he said through his hands.

"And under what conditions did you see her…" James said, his good mood fading.

"In my bed?" he squeaked out nervously. James blinked a few times, Remus just stared at him, Peter fumbled with the food he had been eating. When Sirius heard no response, he looked down at the table nervously. It was then that he heard snickering. Looking up, he found Remus and James trying to hide their smirks. "That would explain the mood this morning" Remus said.

"It would, yes Moony. Would explain the limberness he showed in his dancing when he messaged me on the mirror this morning also" James said.

"Oh will you two shut it…" Sirius said taking a large gulp of his juice, glancing at the entrance of the Great Hall, where he did a double-take. Lily and Fess had just entered, laughing about something. They walked past to the other side of the Marauders, where they took the empty seats beside James and Peter.

"Morning girls" James said with a wink to Lily. She smirked, rolling her eyes, while she helped herself to the remaining pancakes. Fess laughed at him, "Morning girls? I thought you'd already told Lils 'good morning'" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Well, technically, I didn't say 'good morning.'" he told her. "Right, James, I'm sure you said something much more….prince charming like" Fess said biting a piece of toast.

"Of course! So, Fess, how was your night? Have fun with the 'Madness'?" James asked her smiling. Fess glanced quickly at Sirius, blushing, then addressed James, "Yes I did have fun. What's in store for tonight?" she said quickly.

"It's karaoke night" Lily told her. "You're joking?" Fess exclaimed.

"Nope. But you can only pick ONE song Fess! ONLY ONE!" James told her sternly.

She puffed out her lip, giving him sad eyes, "Fine" she replied grumpily. They all laughed at her.

"Oi! We're all going to be late! You two were late for breakfast! You pushed back the whole schedule" Peter said frantically.

"Don't get your panties in a knot, Wormtail. We'll make it. You go on ahead, we'll catch up" James told his squirmy friend.

"I'll go with you, Pete, I need to speak to Professor McGonagall this morning about my essay. See you" Remus said before heading off with Peter.

"So, Lily, what time are we starting everything tonight?" James asked her.

She thought a minute, "8ish?"

"Ok. Come on, Padfoot. We're going to be late" James said standing. Sirius glanced again at Fess, then stood up, following James out of the Great Hall.

"Just out of curiosity…what was that?" Lily asked Fess when the boys walked away.

"What?" she replied, trying to sound innocent. Lily glared at her, "Don't 'what' me. You know what. Why were you and Sirius practically staring at each other just then? What did I miss? You don't think I know when James is making cheeky comments?" she drilled.

Fess was taken aback, "Umm.. Well, you see, I may have, umm…. I'm…I'm not sure how it happened" Fess trailed off.

"Oh will you spit it out already!" Lily said wide-eyed.

"Isleptwithsirius" she mumbled into her arm, avoiding Lily's face.

"You slept with him!" Lily practically yelled. "SHH!" Fess said to her.

"You slept with him?" Lily said in a angry whisper, "What do you mean you don't know how it happened? I'm pretty sure you know how it happened! Fess! Why would you do that? You know better!"

"What does it matter?" Fess replied, upset at the way her best friend was reacting to this news.

"I know you've always liked him, but what were you thinking? I thought you were mad at him! About Johanna! And he was mad at you for telling! What the hell!" Lily whispered across the table intensely.

"Well, we had fight. At the pitch, last night. Really got blown out of proportion, we practically tried to kill each other throwing paint. Finally I left, he followed me, and we fought again in in the tower. Just yelling, and Lily it's all kind of a blur…I don't even know what I said last night. But something clicked, and he kissed me, and it…it was so intense, and it felt…it was like we were both scared, scared of losing the other in that moment. I know I shouldn't have, and I know it was probably like a one night thing. But I don't regret it" Fess told her.

"Fess, you can just throw yourself at him and expect not to get hurt. You care about him too much to do this to yourself. What if he shrugs it off like you were just another girl that he shagged? He's hurt you already! Why would you do this to yourself? Why would you be so stupid!" Lily said shaking her head.

Fess was hurt by her comments, knowing that they could be true, but also knowing that she knew this before she became involved, "Don't you think I've thought about this? I know what he's done. I know how he's done girls in the past. Don't you think I know how this could turn out? That he could never speak to me again? I know! But I don't regret anything I do, especially not this" she said, grabbing her bag and getting up from the table, heading to Transfiguration.

She didn't look up or around when she arrived to the transfiguration classroom. Putting her bag on the desk, she sat down, rummaging through the bag for her book and quill. Finally finding it, she merely sat there, waiting on the class to start, fumbling with the parchment in front of her. Lily came in moments later, taking her seat at the desk beside Fess, not saying or looking at her. James found this curious, the two of them not speaking, but decided not to press the situation, as they both looked rather hurt.

The hour droned on, McGonagall announcing that she was giving them no homework so that they may enjoy the carnival. "Ah, can you believe it? No homework for a week!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly as class ended. "One class, Padfoot" Remus told him. "You're such a downer, Moony! Can't you get in the least bit excited?" he asked. "I'm excited" Remus said smiling. "Right, right, that subtle enthusiasm of yours" Sirius said putting his hands in his pockets as he walked out of the classroom with his friends.

"Um, Sirius? Can I talk to you a minute?" Lily said from behind them. James looked at her quizzically, Fess stood in the door behind her, frozen. Sirius's curls fell in his face gracefully, "This can't be good" he whispered to James. James clapped him on the back encouragingly as Sirius walked forward to join Lily.

James turned to Fess, she was fuming, "What is she doing? I'm going to kill her!" she said pushing past James. He shook his head, "Fess, I'm sure she's not doing anything. Probably just wanted to ask him about…well, I'm not sure but I'm sure it wasn't anything for you to be worried about. She's not going to bitch him out. He didn't do anything to her" James said, catching up with her.

"No. But she was upset when she heard what we'd done last night, and practically bitched me out, I'd hate to know what she's saying to him" she said walking quickly.

"What'd she say?" he asked.

"Nothing that I didn't already know. Just asking what I was thinking, that I shouldn't have done it because I was only going to hurt myself when he never talked to me again"

James stopped in the hallway, staring at her, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Sirius isn't going to do that to you" he said quietly.

Fess turned around and gave him an apologetic smile, "James, I'm not stupid. I know it's a possibility. And…it's ok" she said weakly, turning back around and walking to Charms class.

Lily had let Sirius down an empty hallway. Sirius followed reluctantly. "Lily, if you're going to tell me off, you may as well go ahead and let me have it" he told her, stopping in the hall. Lily turned around to face him, putting on her sternest look.

"If you dare…hurt her…" she started.

"You'll what, Lily? Kill me? I haven't killed you yet" he told her.

"Excuse me? No, you're not turning this into being about me. This is about you and Fess. What are you doing? Playing with her head like that! Do you have any idea? Any idea what you've done to her?" Lily asked him.

"Do you have any idea what you do to James? Don't you dare confront me about leading someone on. What have you been doing all year? And just so you know, I'm not leading her on!" he yelled at her.

"Do not turn this around on me! And you are leading her on! You slept with her! And now you don't plan on doing anything about it!"

"Lily, what do you want from me? Do you want me to say that I'm going to go up to her and ask her to be my girlfriend, because I'm not! I'm not James, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to hurt her either" he explained.

"Sirius, you don't understand"

"No, you don't understand! And you would if you would let yourself! I care about Fess, I do. You think that I would have let last night happen if I didn't? You really think I would do that to her? To a girl that I've been friends with for seven years? Do you think that little of me still? I may not exactly be the 'boyfriend-type' but I'm not going to pretend like it never happened, like I don't care" he told her, his frustration showing, grey eyes blaring.

"Thank you"

"For what?" he said aggravated that he just had to explain his feelings to someone who was clearly denying theirs, tossing around his best friend like she was claiming he was doing to hers.

"For being truthful"

"If you haven't figured it out by now, Lily, I'm normally a pretty honest guy. I don't deny much, unlike you" he spat.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she answered.

"Yes you do. You know damn well you do. Kissing James and then telling him you can't handle it. Spending the night with him on the pitch, teasing him a few weeks ago and pretending it didn't happen. Do you know what you're doing? You like toying with him! He's like your little plaything isn't he? You just get bored and say 'oh look there's James, let me go toy with his head, then I won't be bored.' Is that it? Is that it then? Do you get a kick out of it?" he yelled at her.

Lily shook her head vigorously, "No. No. No. No. No. I don't!"

"Then what is it then! If you don't care about him, then why do you do it?"

"I don't know! I…I….I didn't know I was hurting him…"Lily said quietly.

"Don't play naïve, Lily. How would you not know that"

"Because! He…he's James…I thought with Johanna and everything, maybe he'd moved on or wasn't as crazy about me anymore. I…-he…He hasn't asked me out but twice this year, not asked me to the ball Friday, he hasn't been showing off at all this year, yes, he's still arrogant, but I-are you smirking at me?" she had begun pacing, and looked up to see Sirius with a smug smile on his face.

"Kept count have we? Wait…is that jealousy I'm detecting?" he said smugly.

"Oh shut up, Sirius" she said walking past him.

"Wait! Not even going to deny it, Lily? We're making progress!" he yelled after her, laughing to himself.

Lily walked furiously to Charms class, ignoring everyone she passed on the way, until she felt her arm being pulled back. It was so abrupt, she nearly fell backwards. Catching her, James apologized, "Sorry, Lils, didn't mean to startle you. Only wanted to know how your chat with Sirius went"

Lily stood, straightening her shirt, her heart still beating in her ears from being startled so. "It was fine. Really"

He examined her face, "Doesn't look like it from here. What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's nothing. I just need to think. Don't look so worried! It's nothing serious" she said looking at his concerned face. He rubbed his neck nervously, "If it upsets you, then it must not be nothing, and I worry. I can't help it," he said quietly.

"It really is nothing, something I have to deal with, on my own. Don't give Sirius a hard time about it, he actually helped" she said giving him a small smile.

"Wait, I thought you were confronting him, not the other way around" he asked confused. "I did. Situation turned on me. It's what I get for meddling. Coming to Charms?" she said walking backwards away from him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming. So, karaoke tonight. What are you going to sing?" he said joining her. "Well, I'm not sure yet. Maybe something uptempo. You?"

"Me? Oh, I'm, I'm not singing, I'll leave that to Remus. He's got the voice of the angels, not me" he said smirking. "Really? Remus?" Lily asked. "Yeah. Remus. You didn't know he sang?" James asked in disbelief.

"No! I had no idea! That's great. Remus, the introvert, sings. Kind of like your drawing? What other talents do the marauders have?" she asked smiling at him.

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh many…a few I'd get in deep trouble for telling you about…then again, there are some I could show you" he said slowly.

Not catching the joke, Lily replied excitedly, "Really? What other talents do you keep hidden? I thought you- ohhh…James Potter, you cheeky bastard!" she said slapping his arm playfully. "Ow! That hurt woman!" he said holding his arm. She laughed at him, then reached out for his arm, he pulled away. "James! Let me see your arm!" she said through her giggles.

Reluctantly (it seemed), he let her look at his arm. She pushed his sleeve up to reveal the red mark she'd left on his forearm. "Oh you are such a baby!" She put her hand on the wound, rubbing it, looking up at his hazel eyes and shook her head.

"Ahem, am I interrupting something?" Sirius asked leaning on the cold stone wall about 10 feet from them. Lily rolled her eyes, glaring at him, "I'm sure you'll feel better by tonight, James" she said before walking away from the pair. Sirius sauntered forward slowly, laughing at the redhead. "What's up with that?" James asked him, nodding his head towards Lily.

"Oh nothing. I think we've finally come to an understanding" Sirius said smugly.

The day went on slowly, everyone wishing 8pm would get there sooner than later. When it finally did roll around, the students gathered in the courtyard, where James and Lily had set up a small stage. Blankets were set up on the ground for the students to sit on, paper lanterns lit up the sky, it was new moon.

The marauders sat near the middle of the crowd, on the side so that they could lean against the wall. James went to the stage first, to announce the rules, or how it was going to work,

"Well, thanks everyone for coming. Umm…who's first? And no Fess, you cannot be first" he said waiting on someone to volunteer. One of the fifth years volunteered, running forward and choosing a song from the booklet. James walked down off of the stage, joining his friends on their scarlet blanket. He had just laid back on his elbows when he felt two thuds landing on either side of him. Grinning at each other and him, Lily and Fess sat.

"Well, I see you two are getting on again" he exclaimed.

"Yeah" they said together as the girl onstage started singing 'Forget You' by Cee Lo.

"_Yeah I'm sorry, I can't afford a Ferrari, but that don't mean I cant get you there. Guess she's an xbox, and im more an Atari. But the way you play your game aint fair! I pity the-" _the girl sang.

"Fooolll" Fess couldn't help singing along with her, "That falls in love with you. Oh shit! She's a gold digger! Well! Just thought you should know!"

"I've got some news for you! Yeah, go run and tell your little girlfriend" Lily sang. James laughed at Lily's singing, she was so bad. He hoped she wasn't singing anything too difficult tonight. After the girl finished, a fourth year sang, then a sixth year couple sang an uptempo duet. The next thing they knew, Remus was walking towards the stage, smiling widely. Once he got up to the mic, he heard James and Sirius yelling at him.

"YEAH! MOONY!" James yelled, Sirius sent him a whistle. Remus shook his head, then spoke, "Ok guys, I know many of you don't know that I sing, but I do, and I'm going to slow it down a little bit. I hope you…enjoy…" he said taking a seat on a stool he had transfigured.

"She says its cold outside and she hands me my raincoat…she's always worried about things like that" he sang.

"Oh I love this song" Fess whispered, sitting up. Sirius scooted closer to her, finally sitting behind her and pulling her between his legs, her back facing him. Resting his hands on her legs, he kissed her jaw before laying his head on her shoulder.

"She says baby, it's 3am I must be lonely. When she says baby, well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes. Says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it"

Lily glanced over at Fess, about to say something when she saw her sitting with Sirius. He was whispering something in her ear, she laughed quietly at him before singing along with Remus again. Lily smiled. He was keeping his promise.

"She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to…And she only sleeps when its raining. And she screams, and her voice is strainin, she says"

Lily looked back at James, who was lying on his elbows still, he saw her looking and winked at her, to which she quickly turned, blushing. James sat up, "Somethings still bothering you" he whispered.

"She believes that life isn't made up of all that you're used to, and the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days and days" Remus sang softly.

"SHE THINKS THAT HAPPINESS IS A MAT THAT SITS ON HER DOORWAY!" Fess and Lily yelled out with him. It was their favorite line of the song.

"But outside…its stopped rainin…..And she says Baby!" Remus smiled as he finished out the song with his last chorus. They all applauded loudly, sending catcalls and howls his way. Remus laughed at them as he took his seat.

"Bravo Remus! That was brilliant!" Fess exclaimed.

"Yeah, I had no idea you could sing like that" Lily told him, leaning around James.

"Thanks guys, just one of my many hidden talents" he exclaimed happily.

A couple of 7th year Ravenclaws were up next, then three 5th years back to back. After being put in time-out for this long, Fess was itching to get up there. "Can I go now?" she asked James. He laughed, "Yes, please go. Go so that you don't piss your pants. Please!" he said encouragingly. She jumped up out of Sirius's arms quickly before the 7th year Hufflepuff had a chance to reach the stage.

"Hi!" she said in to the mic before finding her selection.

"There aint no reason you and me should be alone, tonight, yeah baby!" she started singing. "Tonight, yeah baby!" Lily yelled to her. Fess smirked at her, "And I got a reason that you're who should take me tonight…I need a man that thinks it's right when it's so wrong, tonight yeah baby!" she sang.

"Tonight, yeah baby!" Lily yelled again to her.

"Right on the limits where we know we both belong tonight…It's hard to feel the rush, to brush the dangerous, I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you, where we both can fall far in love… I'M ON THE EDGE!" Fess sang proudly, thrusting her fist in the air. Sirius laughed at her, only she would get this into karaoke.

"Hey Lily, why didn't she wear a Gaga outfit?" he whispered to her.

"Couldn't decide which one" Lily said simply. Sirius raised his eyebrows, "You mean she has more than one?"

Lily noticed his face, her smile growing wide, "Oh, she has several. Props too" she said innocently. Sirius turned back, open-mouthed, to the girl singing on stage, the sighed heavily.

"Another shot before we kiss the other side, tonight yeah baby!….I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight…put on your shades, cause I'll be dancing in the flames, tonight yeah baby! It isn't hell if everybody knows my name tonight"

"hey lily! Psst!" Sirius whispered.

"What?"

"What kind?" he asked.

She laughed, "I'm not sure I can name all of them. You'll have to ask yourself"

"I'm on the edge, of glory! And I'm hanging on a moment with you! I'm on the edge with you!" she sang, finishing the song with the last chorus. She bowed, then ran off the stage, joining the others on their blankets. "Encore, Fess, encore!" Remus said laughing. "No, Remus, I am going to abide by the rules tonight. Only one, right James?" she said.

"Yes, Fess, only one. Otherwise you'd never let anyone else on stage!" he said laughing. They all laughed as the next students went on stage to sing. James leaned closer to Lily, watching her as she stared off into space. "Daydreaming about anyone in particular?" he whispered in her ear. She jumped, not realizing how close he was to her. She felt goosebumps rise on her arms from his breath so close to her. Quickly she pulled the arms of her shirt down, hoping he hadn't seen. James chuckled.

"I wasn't daydreaming…just thinking…" she replied, fidgetting with the hem on her shirt. "You've been doing a lot of that today. What's up?" he asked, trying to get her to look at him.

She glanced up into his hazel eyes, seeing the genuine look on his face. Giving him a weak smile, she told him, "It's complicated, James"

"I can follow. I'm friends with Sirius, after all. He speaks jibberish about 75 percent of the time" James said, trying to get her to confide in him.

She smiled a little larger, "I know. But it's not something I can really explain" she said.

"Right. Right. So what are you doing after this?" he asked. She looked at him curiously, "…going to sleep" she said slowly.

"Oh, well, that's boring. I thought maybe you were going to say you wanted to see a few more of my talents before bed" he added, getting closer to her.

She smirked, "And I supposed you really wanted to see how far I could arch my back did you?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"It would have been an added bonus" he said.

She laughed, rolling her eyes at his suggestive comments. "How's your arm?" she asked.

"Arm? Oh, it's fine" he said, memory coming back to him.

"And your side?" she asked.

"Hm…wouldn't you like to know?" he said crooking his smile. She laughed quietly, looking in his eyes still, how they lit up when he looked at her. She could see her reflection in his pupils, his intensity growing.

"Oi! Hate to break this up, mate, but it's your turn" Sirius told James, tapping him on the shoulder. James grinned widely, hopping up quickly.

"I thought you weren't going to sing!" Lily said as he got up. He turned around and winked at her before heading off to the stage.

"Ok guys, this one isn't exactly 'karaoke,' more of a cover," he said before transfiguring the stool behind him into a piano, "And, I might need some help from my dear cousin on this. She's been wanting us to perform it for some time and I think tonight is a pretty good night to do it. So, Fess, come on" he said gesturing to her.

Fess had stood up but froze when she realized what song he was talking about, she walked slowly to the stage. "Are you sure about this?" she whispered to him. "Yes. Now sit. Were doing this" he said back, working up his nerves. Fess transfigured another stool into a medium sized bongo-drum to play. Sitting down nervously in front of the piano, James started first.

"Oh-o-oh-ooo-oh-oh-ooo…Caught in a bad romance…oh-o-oh-ooo-oh-oh-ooo….caught in a bad romance…I want your love, I want your disease, I want you open mouthed and on your knees, I want your love…love love love, I want your…love" James sang slowly. (A/N::if you want the version he's singing, look up 30 Seconds To Mars's cover of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. Its an acoustic version, Fess is still singing Gaga's lyrics)

"I want your drama, the touch of your hand, I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand, I want your…love love love…I want your love…" Fess took her verse, nervously. As comfortable as she was on stage, this was killing her.

"I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance! I want your love and all your lover's revenge, you and me could write a bad romance!" they sang the chorus together.

Lily was staring in awe at the stage. She'd never heard James sing, much less sing like that. So much passion in his voice, like his life depended on it. It was making her hot.

"I want your horror, I want your design, cause you're a criminal as long as your mine, I want your love…love love love…I want your love" Fess sang on, getting more comfortable, letting go of the reserve in her voice.

"I want your psycho, your vertical kiss, I want you…in. my. bed. I'll make you sick…I want your lovee… love..love LOVE!" James had lost himself in the song, letting go as he usually did when he concentrated hard enough on something.

Lily watched James intensely, his hands on the piano, how they moved so effortlessly across, and yet with determination. His passion startled her, she felt herself breathing heavier as they moved into the chorus and the bridge.

"I want your love and I want your revenge, I want your love, I don't wanna be friends" Fess sang softly.

"Je veux ton amour. Et je veux ta revanche. J'veux ton amour. I don't wanna be friends. I don't wanna be friends….yeah, I Don't Wanna Be Frienddssss! ….I don't wanna be friends…no, no" James sang, glancing up from the piano, letting her green eyes pierce his for only moment before he turned back to the piano.

Lily felt as if his eyes had pieced a hole in hers, like they were on fire. She felt like her whole body was on fire. The way he had sung in French sent her goosebumps to another level. How the hell was he doing this to her?

"ooo-oh-oh-ooo-oh-oh-oooo….Caught in a bad romance" they finished. Everyone in the courtyard just stared at them, then Remus stood and clapped, letting the others join in slowly. Lily couldn't bring herself to move, she was still unsure of what just happened to her. 'That song is dangerous' she thought to herself, trying to shake it off.

"Alright everyone, it's past hours, so I think we best all be getting to bed before Professor McGonagall comes out here in her knickers to give us detentions. Come on, come on!" James said on the stage, gesturing for them all to leave.

"Great song, James!" someone yelled at him, "Yeah, good night!" someone else yelled. As everyone got up from their blankets and started walking towards the Great Hall, Lily rose from her seat, walking slowly towards James, fidgetting the whole way. James turned around towards the piano, rubbing his neck, then slumped over the piano, his hands holding him up.

"James?" Lily said approaching the stage. He turned his head quickly. "Lily" he replied smiling nervously. He didn't know what she thought of his song.

"I liked your song. I didn't think you were going to sing?" she said a little more confident.

"I like to keep my plans quiet, besides, it wouldn't have been as entertaining if everyone knew what I was doing" he told her.

"Right, right, 'marauder code of silence'" she joked.

"Exactly" they were quiet for a moment. "So you liked my song?" he said.

"Yeah, I did. Got me all hot and bothered" she said laughing. Pretending to cough, she mentally slapped herself for just saying that. 'What the hell, Lily!' she thought. Turning back, she saw James's lit up face.

Raising both of his eyebrows and smirking, he replied, "Oh really?"

Lily shook her head, "You're such a twat, James. See you in the common room" she said before turning to leave the courtyard. He stared after her, smiling to himself, noticing the bit of hop in her step as she walked away. After cleaning everything up in the courtyard, returning the stools to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, he finally made it back to his common room. Exhausted, he flopped on to the couch, not noticing Lily in the corner at the table doing homework.

"Can't even make it to your room, James?" she asked.

He jumped. "Lily, I didn't see you there"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Seems like I always do that" she said turning back to her paper. "What are you working on?" he asked, getting up and standing beside the table.

"Oh it's just my arithmancy homework" she told him, glancing up.

"Arithmancy, huh? I never took the class, but Remus always lets me help on his homework. Says I have the brain for it" he added proudly.

"Is that so? Want to have a go at this, then?" she said holding up the paper. He took it, sitting across from her at the table.

"Lily, this is quite simple" he said after examining it.

"Quite simple? Coming from someone who's never taken an arithmancy class? You must be joking"

"No. No I'm not. You're just over thinking it. See, look" he said showing her the paper, pointing out the things she was doing wrong.

She looked up at him as he was explaining and laughed, "You…are entirely too much"

He cocked his head sideways, "What?"

"You. I think I've learned about 3 new talents of yours just today. Is there anything else I should know about, or are you just going to surprise me?" she asked, folding her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"You'll just have to wait and see" he said leaning back in his chair, too far, as he fell a moment later. Lily's eyes widened, then she started laughing hysterically. "Oh wow, James, is that another one of your talents? Falling?" she said laughing.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a talent, I would call it an art" he said gathering himself off of the floor.

"An art? Falling? Explain" she said wanting to hear what this was all about.

"Well, it think it depends on the manner of falling. Falling out of a chair, clumsy, but if you fall gracefully, then it doesn't look as bad. Falling off of the astronomy tower, tragedy, again, a form of art. But if the manner of falling is falling in love…there is no argument. Its about the climatic build of passion, obsession, and about the fear of falling. Because we're all scared of falling, its common, but once the fear is gone, all your reserves die, and you let go, because you have nothing left to be scared of. You can fall, head over heels" he explained slowly, getting off of the floor, staring at her.

"Thought of all this yourself, did you?" she asked.

"Yeah" he told her, ruffling his hair nervously.

She shook her head, "Goodnight James" she said abruptly, getting up from her seat and heading up the stairs. He stared after her, "'Night Lily" he said, sitting back down in the chair.


	12. Carnival Day Three: The Game

**A/N:::: hey! i hope you guys are liking it! sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out! Please let me know what you think! Reviews are GREATLY appreciated! Enjoy!**

Carnival Day 3: Wednesday

James woke up the next morning to the sound of someone running down the stairs frantically. It was only then that he realized he had fallen asleep downstairs on the couch. Looking over the back of the couch, he saw Lily running down the stairs frantically in her shower robe, her hair still damp. She ran over to the desk and started throwing papers all over the floor, looking for something. James watched her for a moment.

"Um, Lily? You ok?" he asked.

"James! What are you doing!" she said, so startled that she nearly fell on the floor.

"I just woke up. Fell asleep on the couch last night. What are you looking for?" he said taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"My charms essay! I can't find it anywhere! I don't remember what I did with it!" she said frantically, turning back to the papers, throwing them around again. James got up from the couch, tired of watching her throw things everywhere.

"Lily…Lily….Lily! Stop! Are you or are you not a witch?" he asked grabbing her wrists. She sighed heavily as she realized how stupid her antics must have looked.

"Yes. Accio charms essay" she said effortlessly. The paper came zoming at her from under the couch. She shook her head at her own stupidity.

"I swear I have wrack spurts buzzing around my head sometimes" she mumbled before bending down to pick up the papers she had thrown.

"Wrackspurts? I think you been around ol' Lovegood too much" James said laughing at her. She smiled, sitting down at the table, getting out her ink and quill to work on her homework more.

When James came back down after his shower, he saw that Lily hadn't moved from the table.

"You coming to breakfast?" he asked her.

"No. Might not make it to morning classes either. I really have to finish this" she said looking up, giving him a weak smile.

"Want me to bring you something from breakfast?" he suggested before heading out of the portrait hole.

"No, don't worry about it James. You have a lot on your plate today, with the game and everything" she said, looking back down at her papers. James didn't know what else to say, so he walked out of the portrait hole, going to meet the marauders at breakfast.

James stuffed some muffins in his pocket when breakfast came to a close. Telling Sirius that he was going to get a nap in before the game, he ran back up to the Heads' Tower. Lily looked up when he came through the door.

"Forget something?" she asked him.

"Oh no, I was bringing you these and…well, I'm not sure what I was doing after that since I told Sirius I was taking a nap" he added.

"You didn't have to bring me anything"

"I know. Its only a couple of muffins, and now that I think about it, theyre more than likely kind of smushed. Sorry about that…" he said pulling them out of his pocket. She chuckled softly at him.

"Well, thank you anyway. I'm sure they'll taste just fine. You can help me with my essay if you want" she said.

James was taken aback, "Lily Evans asking for help? The world has turned upside down! Are you feeling well? Do you have a fever? …Lily, you do actually have a fever" he said as he put the back of his hand on her forehead.

"I know, I know. I need it to go away before tomorrow night. I'd be so upset if I missed the Ball! And yes, I am asking for help because it is my Defense essay and unlike you, I do not excell in Defense" she said not looking at him. He noticed how weak she was at the moment, feeling sorry for her, but trying not to show it because she knew she wouldn't want him to.

"You're right. You don't excell in defense" he joked. She attempted to glare at him, failing miserably. "Come on, bring your stuff over here on the floor. Easier to look at everything at once" he said picking up two of the books she had laid out on top of each other on the table. She slowly gathered her papers in a stack in the amount of time that James took all of her books and set them on the floor, he smirked at her, taking the papers from her and setting them on the floor too. James sat on the floor, Lily joining him.

"So, where shall we begin?" he asked her, looking around at all the material.

"I guess with what I have. I have basic outline done, but I don't really understand the concept of how to use Legilimency. How are you supposed to protect your mind from a spell, without using a spell to block it? If it were that simple, wouldn't we all just go around repelling each others' spells with out minds instead of using protego? Or a counter-spell?" she said, letting her frustrations out.

"Lily, you're thinking about it too hard. Legilimency is about closing your mind, not just leaving it open like a book" he tried explaining.

"Or like the Marauder's Map?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, that's a good- hey! How do you know about the map?"

"Fess doesn't keep all of your secrets, you know"

"That sneaky little…anyway. Yes, like the map. Leave your mind open and anyone can read it, but if you close your mind, like saying 'Mischief Managed,' you defend the mind against anyone who tries to penetrate it" he tried again to explain.

"But I still don't understand HOW to do it! How do I close my mind?" she said, again frustrated.

"Well, it's really quite simple, you just-Lily?" he said seeing the look on her face.

"Oh yes, it's so simple for you James Potter! You're just sooo good at everything!" she said out of no where.

"Lily, I'm just trying to help you" he said calmly.

"I don't need your help!"

"Yes you do!" he said a little louder.

"No I don't! Get out! Leave!" she said. James looked at her weak expression and got up, heading towards the stairs.

"No, James, wait. I'm sorry. I just…I'm so frustrated! I'm really sorry, will you come back and help me please?" she pleaded with him.

A part of him said to keep going up the stairs, that she would just have this same breakdown in about an hour, but then another part of him said that if he left her now, it would only make things worse for him later. He chose to go sit down again. Reaching across the small space between them, he felt her head again. She was hotter than before.

"Lily, are you sure you feel ok?" he asked, concerned.

"No. No, I don't. I think I'm dying" she said. James snorted. She looked at him, bewildered.

"I'm sorry. You're not dying, Lils. You just have the sniffles. It'll go away in a day or two" he told her.

"I know, but that means I have to go to the Ball tomorrow all sick and with a head cold, and…and…this is such a disaster!" she said throwing her head in her hands. James scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in an embrace.

"Lily, you'll be fine tomorrow. Yes, you will still have the sniffles, but, you will be as beautiful as you always are, sickness and all. Who knows, your nose might match your hair" he joked. She playfully hit his stomach.

"Ha, it might. No one is going to want to dance with the 'sniffles' girl though. I'll be watching from the bar with Peter all night!" she said.

"Peter? Oh no, no, Peter has been known to cut a rug on the dance floor, so hate to say it but, he won't be joining you on the sidelines" James explained.

"Oh great! I'll go stand outside with the giant squid then!" she said tossing her hands in the air.

"And what makes you think that I'm going to let you stand there alone? Or let you stand period? Sniffles or no sniffles, you'll have a dance partner in me at least. I cant believe you don't have a date!" he said over her shoulder as they leaned against the couch.

"I cant believe you don't have a date!" she said back to him.

"Well, I was taking Johanna, but that plan kind of fell through, so now I'm going stag" he said.

"No pun intended?" she said chuckling.

"Hm?"

"Oh come off it James, I know your little secret. I'm not stupid, I mean, it's not everyday you see a deer and big black dog running around the grounds is it?"

"It's a stag…." he corrected her.

"Ok stag! Whatever!" she said laughing.

"I can't believe you never said anything" he said in disbelief.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Never came up"

"Right, right….Any other secrets you know about me that you'd like to share?" he asked, looking at her profile angle.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, smirking, "Wouldn't you love to know" she responded.

"Oh that's how you want to play?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, leaning away.

"Well, I'll have you know I know quite a few of your little secrets" she said, batting her eyes.

"Do tell"

She turned around towards him, sitting on her knees like a little kid, "I know that you wet your bed until you were 10...I know that you snore terribly, probably worse than Hagrid…I know thattttt you begged Slughorn to let you retake your final first year because you failed miserably…you repeat the question back to the professor when you don't know the answer…I know that Severus kicked your ass second year in the boys' bathroom…"

"He did not!" James interrupted.

"Oh yes he did! I saw your jaw when you left…its why you have that scar" she said smiling. James folded his arms across his chest, "Fine. Go on"

"Ok. I know that during a quidditch game, you only catch the snitch when you're either bored, or when it will make for a dramatic ending…you asked out Bellatrix Black in 5th year as a prank, and then you ended up in the hospital wing…you sneak out at night to go to the kitchens at least three times a week…you fiddle with your thumbs when you are extremelyyyyy nervous…you-what?" she said abruptly, looking at James's now smirking face.

"Nothing, nothing, I'm just glad you seem to feel better…that's all" he said, lying through his teeth. He couldn't believe how much she noticed about him.

"Yeah, I think I do. Thanks, James" she said blushing.

"For what?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I dunno what exactly, everything I guess. Making me feel better, for one" she told him, smiling sweetly. James returned the smile, then glanced at he clock on the mantle.

"You shouldn't be so surprised, Lily. You know what I'm good at" he said with a wink.

"Oh shut it!" she said laughing, falling off of her knees towards the couch. She looked towards the clock also.

"Is it really 12 already?" she asked.

"Yep. Three hours… want to make out?" he asked, his serious face on. Lily looked at him, attempting a straight face, completely failing. As soon as she looked at his eyes, she burst out laughing. "You are so bad, James! No, I will not make out with you!" she said grabbing a pillow from the couch and throwing it at him.

"Why not? You've done it before!" he said blocking the pillow from his face.

"Well, that was…different! Last week! Not this week!" she told him, throwing the pillow again, laughing hysterically. "And last week doesn't even count! You cant call one kiss making out!" she said.

"What about the one before that?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"What one?" she said, pausing from her pillow throwing, half of her hair on top of her head, falling in her face, feathers scattered around them.

"You know, the one where you came downstairs, trying to seduce me" he said, sitting up on his knees.

She thought a minute, "No idea what you're talking about" she said looking away from him, a smile dancing on her lips.

"When you walked up to me, talking about how hot it was in the room" he said, now crawling towards her.

"Did you have this dream last night? Very vivid" she said watching him get closer.

"Then you kissed me, pulled my hair, dragged me down the floor and took off my pants" he said smiling.

"I did not! You're exaggerating!" she said in a high-pitched voice.

"Aha! You admit it! To which part are you denying!" he said proudly, as if he had just discovered a very dark secret of hers.

"The part where I dragged you to the ground and almost shagged you! I did not do that! That must have been part of your dream" she said defensively.

"No. Haven't had one of those in a few weeks" he admitted. She raised her eyebrows, smirking at him. "I mean, umm… I've…I've-I've never had one of those dreams, uh, but-but if I had had one, it would have been a, um, few weeks ago. Haven't been sleeping much…Anyway!" he said trying to recover.

"You stutter when you're nervous too" she said, as if she'd just discovered another secret of his.

"Caught on, have you?" he said running a hand through the back of his hair.

They then heard the portrait door open, seeing Sirius and Remus walk through, they forgot how messy their common room must have looked to them.

"And what have you two been doing?" Remus said, eyeing the feathers.

"Looks pretty kinky from here, eh Moony?" Sirius said, nudging his arm. Lily and James looked around at the floor. Three pillows were destroyed, their papers were strewn all over the place, the books, once neatly placed in a stack, were now knocked over. James looked at Lily's hair, seeing how many feathers she had in it.

"Um, Lils, your hair…" he said slowly. She felt her hair, all feathers.

"Ah, crap! Who wants to be a monkey and get the feathers out of my hair?" she said to the boys.

"Remus has small hands, let him" Sirius said, before Remus hit him in the stomach for the comment. "My hands aren't that small!" Remus replied. Lily laughed at them, sitting in front of the armchair so that Remus could pick the feathers out of her hair.

"Good grief Lily, what were you two doing?" he asked her.

"Making out" James said before Lily could respond. All of their eyes went wide, Lily got up and hit his already bruised side. "We. Were. Not!" she said hitting him. She sat back down in front of Remus again, trying to regain her composure.

James laughed at her, then realized the pain in his side, "Ow woman! I have a quidditch game today!" he told her.

"Well, stop telling people that! And maybe you wont get hit!" she said joking.

"Now, Lily, didn't we have this discussion yesterday?" Sirius said to her, walking around the room.

"I am not denying anything right now, Sirius! We were not making out!" she said to him, throwing her hands in the air. They laughed at her. Remus continued to pick the small white feathers out of her hair, while Sirius and James discussed a gameplan for the quidditch game.

"Right so, last time Malfoy tried to cheat by hexing Longbottom, Think he'll do it again?" Sirius asked him.

"Well considering he was kicked out of the game after he hexed him, I hope not, but I would never count it out. Question is, what are we going to do if he or any of the other players do hex us. Or atleast what do we do if we don't realize what they're doing in time to repel" James replied.

"I think I'll pulverize all of them with a couple of bludgers before they get a chance" Sirius said defensively.

"And get banned from quidditch? I don't think so. I'll keep watch while I'm looking for the snitch. My main concern is looking after Longbottom, Fess and Bell. They'll be getting the worst of it if they are going to be hexing us. Just make sure you're circling them at all times. The last thing we need is a bludger injury" James concluded, sighing heavily, rubbing his neck.

"You got that right" Sirius agreed, falling in to the couch.

Lily smirked at them. James noticed. He picked up a piece of rolled parchment and threw it at her, "What are you laughing at?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just you two" she said simply.

"What about us?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. I guess just seeing you two be serious about something for once" she explained.

"All done" Remus exclaimed.

"You don't hang out with us enough, Lils. We're actually pretty serious guys" Sirius told her.

"We are?" James asked him.

"Yes, we are Prongs. Lily, just see us out in the halls and stuff. Never behind the scenes when we actually do our homework, talk about class, girls, the next full moon, quidditch, planning pranks…all that stuff" Sirius tried explaining. Lily nodded her head in understanding. She really didn't hang out with them when they weren't in class or in the Great Hall.

"I guess I should start hanging out with you all more often, then" she said picking up one of her papers in front of her. They looked at her, a look of surprise on their faces.

"What?" she asked.

"Oi! Prongs, we got to get going, mate!" Sirius said jumping out of the couch. James looked up at the clock again.

"Yeah, we do. Remus, you going to head down there with us or go to lunch?" James asked him.

"I'll go eat something, then head out there, Lily, would you like to join me? You haven't eaten today have you?" Remus asked her.

"Um…I think I'm actually going to work on this more before heading down to the pitch, you go on" she told him, standing up. Remus headed towards he door with Sirius, James turning to Lily, "Are you sure you're still ok?" he asked softly, feeling her forehead.

She smiled as his hand moved from her forehead to her cheek, "No, but I will be. You just worry about the game, and kicking Slytherin's ass" she told him.

He chuckled, "Oh, that's a given"

"Prongs! You coming, mate?" Sirius yelled at him from the door. "Hang on to your knickers, Padfoot, I'm coming!" James yelled back before turning back to Lily, his hand still on her cheek. Seeing a stray feather, he reached up, picking it out of her hair and holding it in his hand. He closed his hand for a brief second, and upon opening it, a single lily appeared.

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, nervously, as he gave her the flower, "James…" she couldn't think of anything else to say. James smiled as he reached for her hand, closing the lily in it. She looked up into his eyes, blushing. He laughed silently, then leaned in and kissed her forehead, "See you after the game, Lils" he whispered before turning away from her, heading towards the door.

Lily was in a daze, what just happened? It was just a flower. A beautiful flower. And the way he looked at her when he gave her the flower, she had seen him look at her like that before, but thought nothing of it, but today she felt like the look on her face was similar to it. She blinked twice, snapping out of it, then yelled after him, "James!"

He turned, looking at her desperate face. She didn't know what it was she wanted to say to him, but instead said the first thing that came to mind, "Good luck at the game." she said softly, the flower still in the palm of her hand. James smiled, then turned and left out of the room.

Lily closed her eyes, mentally kicking herself, then fell back on to the couch, "Oh bloody hell" she said as she was falling. She buried her face in a pillow, screaming at what an idiot she had just made of herself.

James strode out of the portrait hole trying to catch up with Sirius, "You ready to kick ass, mate?" he asked Sirius, putting his arm around Sirius's neck, trying to get him hyped up. Sirius laughed at him, "Someone's suddenly extremely happy. Did you get a good luck kiss?" he asked.

"No, I got a 'good luck at the game'" James told him.

"Ahh, Prongs, I keep forgetting how the tiniest things make you so happy" Sirius said shaking his head. They then were almost knocked over by someone jumping in between them, holding themselves up by holding on to each of their shoulders. "Bloody hell!" James said. "What the-" Sirius started to say.

"Are you guys ready to slay some snakes?" Fess asked them, putting her arms around both of their shoulders.

"No. No, we thought we'd take a nap or something before. Don't you think that sounds like an idea, Padfoot?" James said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I agree. All this talk about slaying has me quite tired. I mean, who wants to really 'slay' snakes anyhow? I'd like to chop off a few heads though" Sirius said.

"Aye, chopping off heads, now that sounds like a plan!" James said laughing. Fess shook her head at the pair as they exited the castle and strode on to the grounds. "You two are ridiculous. So, James, how'd the song go over with Lily last night? You know I haven't seen her all morning. Is she ok?" she asked James.

"Not really, says she's coming down with a bit of a head cold. And she does have a fever, it's quite pitiful actually. And the song, well, she said she really liked it, so I assume she did. She usually would tell me if she hated it" he added thoughtfully.

"Oh, well, that's progress! I didn't know she was sick though, poor girl, I swear she can never catch a break before big events" Fess said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"Well, at Petunia's wedding, well it was Petunia's wedding, not like she was happy to be there and then on top of that she had a horrible zit on her forehead the size of a penny. It was awful. Then in 5th year, at the Spring Ball we had, she tripped and fell down 4 flights of stairs, as they were moving, and didn't make it to the Ball"

"Ah, so that's why she didn't go, not because she was avoiding me" James interrupted her saying.

"Yes, she had a broken leg. And there was some other time that she was really sick…when was it…Oh! It was last year, right before winter break, she got pneumonia and had to stay in bed while the rest of us were at the Yule feast and festivities that Professor Flitwick was putting on. I had to take her back so much stuff, she was so upset! It was terrible!" Fess continued explaining, "And now this year she has a cold? Are you sure it's not just the love bug, James?" Fess asked.

James laughed, muttering, "love bug" mockingly at her, then rolled his eyes, "Ha, I'll keep you updated, but I'm pretty sure its not" he said looking at her over his glasses.

"Well, well, well…it it isn't the cowardly lions coming to meet their deaths" a voice said behind them. Turning around, wands out, it was Malfoy.

"Who're you calling a coward, Malfoy? The only coward I see out here is you" Fess said.

He lunged towards her, only to be pulled back by Narcissa, "Now, now, Lucius, you don't want to use all your energy on them before the big game do you? Come on, darling" she said to him, glaring at the three Gryffindors, one hand on Malfoy's chest. Malfoy blinked a few times, and retracted his wand, straightening up his robes as he addressed them again, "I hope you can manage to stay on your broom this time, Black, you're going to need all the help you can get" he said before walking away. The three straightened up as he walked away, putting their wands back in their pockets, glaring after him.

"That answer your question about the hexing then, Prongs?" Sirius asked him.

"Yes, Padfoot. I think it does. Come on, we have to go tell the others" James said. They all set off in a run to the Gryffindor locker room. Upon arriving, they found the rest of the team suiting up, very quiet. James noticed how thick the air seemed to be.

"Everyone ok?" he asked.

"We can't find Longbottom. No one's seen him since breakfast" Bell told him, tying his shoe.

"Did you guys ask Alice? Has she seen him?" James asked.

"I did. She said she hadn't seen him either, but she was going to go look. Said he was probably out on his morning run and just lost track of time" Tracy Blair said. Sirius and James exchanged glances, "Let's hope that's all it is" James said running a hand through his hair, "Alright, so, we just ran in to-"

"Found him!" Alice came in to the locker room yelling. She was holding up Frank's arm like he had just won a boxing match. Lily came in with them, she had been helping Alice look. Lily stood in the doorway as Alice explained where they had found Frank.

"Longbottom! 'Bout time you showed up! We were about to send the dogs out for you, man!" Sirius said clapping him on the back. "You get lost on your run this morning?" James asked laughing.

"Yes, he did! Lily and I found him pacing in Hagrid's pumpkin patch like a lunatic! I told him he'd been hanging out with Lovegood too much! Anyway, here he is!" Alice said proudly. James laughed, then glanced to Lily standing in to door frame. She was wearing the lily in her hair. She saw him looking at her, noticing the lily, and quickly looked down, blushing furiously. When she glanced up, her eyes locked with his. He smiled, more inside than out. Inside he was jumping for joy, he didn't want to contain it, but he knew he must.

"Alright, alright, hate to do this to you girls, but I must ask you to leave, official game strategy planning time, you see" James said finally, addressing Alice and Lily.

"Oh, fine, James! If we must!" Alice said before turning to Frank and giving him a kiss. When their kiss lasted a little longer than planned, Sirius said, "Oi! Save it for after the game! Then you two can find an empty classroom somewhere"

Alice laughed at him, "Fine, Black. Come on, Lily! Let's go get a good seat and find Remus and Peter! Good luck everyone!" Alice said before dragging Lily out of the locker room. Taking one last glance behind her, Lily grinned widely at all of them, catching James's eyes before she almost fell as Alice rushed her out.

The team laughed as the girls left from the room, turning to Frank, James looked at him quizzically, "Pacing in the pumpkin patch, eh? Doesn't sound like you got lost" he said quietly to him.

Frank shook his head, "I didn't. I lost track of time. Been trying to work on something…something really important, I just don't want it to go wrong, you know?" he tried explaining.

James looked at his friend's solemn face, "I think I do, man. How long have you been working on it?"

"About a month"

"A month? Have you written down what you want to say or are you trying just improvise?" James asked.

"Improvise. Well, a little of both I guess. It's just with the war and everything, I don't want her to get away. I wouldn't be able to go on without her" Frank explained.

"Frank, two things: one, you know as forgetful as you are you should write it down. And two, she's not going anywhere. She's only ever had eyes for you. You don't have anything to worry about"

Frank laughed, "You think so?"

"Mate, I know" James said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Alright guys. Game plan. We know the slytherins are gong to try and hex us. It's a given by the way Malfoy was just talking when we ran into him. So Sirius, Westly, I need you guys to circle the chasers at all times, keeping any rogue bludgers away and looking for any sign of them trying to hex. I'll be watching for it also while looking for the snitch. Tracy, you don't worry about anything except what you do best. Fess, Frank, Bell, you guys just play the game, let me, Sirius, and Westly worry about the hexing. If anything happens, well, we'll worry about that then. You guys ready?" James said nervously.

"Yeah! I'm ready to kick some Slytherin ASS!" Sirius said jumping up and down.

"Yeah!" Westly said also jumping up and down now.

Professor McGonagall was now coming through the door, "Potter! Is your team ready?" she asked.

James looked around at the determined faces of his team, then looked back at McGonagall, "I'd say so Professor"

"Good, good. It's time. And Potter" she said as he had turned back around to his team, "please do beat the pulp out of them. I daresay I don't believe I can take Horace's gloating again" she told him before exiting the locker room. Grabbing their brooms, the Gryffindor team set out of the locker room for the pitch. They heard the hum of the screams and applause before reaching the large door. They could hear Lovegood announcing the game, "How wonderful the weather is for this legendary game! Oh look, there's the Slytherin team now! I daresay I don't know all their names, hopefully they play fair this time. Oh the clouds today are marvelous! That one looks like a lion! And here comes the Gryffindor team! How fitting of that cloud to look like a lion!" Lovegood said as they flew out of the large door.

James laughed at the commentary. Why they had chosen him to commentate the game completely baffled him. Circling the top of the field, above everyone else, he decided to keep an eye on McNair, Zabini, and Malfoy. He knew they would be the most likely to send the curses as they would be doing the least in the game. Zabini circled the field also, coming to a halt beside James.

"Alright there, Potter? Or are you not ready to have you arse handed to you?" Zabini said to him.

"I'd be asking you the same question. Tell me, who're you going to be targeting first?" James asked.

"Hmm…well, I thought about that little mud blood girlfriend of yours, but then I figured, she's just not worth my time" Zabini said, hoping to get a rise out of him. James clenched his jaw and fist, but knew better than to go after him, that's what he wanted. Zabini laughed at him as Madame Hooch called out the rules.

Malfoy was across from Sirius in the circle, "Such a disgrace you are Black, to be in Gryffindor. Your mother must be ashamed" Malfoy said.

"I consider it to be a disgrace to have to live with such a pathetic name" Sirius said. Malfoy glared at him, "Let's dance, Black" he spat as Madame Hooch blew her whistle, throwing the quaffle in the air.

Lily watched the exchanges between the players, but couldn't tell what they were saying. As soon as the whistle blew, she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Watching, she saw Sirius immediately hit a bludger towards one of the Slytherin chasers, Malfoy hot on his trail, hit it back towards him, missing him by an inch. The bludger went zooming off towards the ground. Longbottom had the quaffle, passing it to Bell, back to Longbottom, he zoomed down field, making the first goal. Westly was circling backfield keeping track of the bludgers, and looking for any wands. None so far. The teams battled for a few uninteresting minutes, keeping the score at 10-0. James circled overhead, watching the game, he thought he saw the snitch a couple of times, zooming to where he thought he'd seen it, only to find that it was no longer there or it had just been a reflection off of Lovegood's large gold and scarlet hat. Fess had the quaffle now, zooming downfield, she found herself surrounded closely by the three Slytherin chasers. Pointing her broom down, she dived before they knew what she had done. James couldn't see her as high as he was. Sirius and Westly's faces had looks of fear on them, she had dived so quickly they weren't able to follow. Fess finally pulled up from her dive, passing the quaffle to Longbottom, who was close to the goal, and he hit it in with his broom.

"Fess! Don't do that again!" James yelled at her.

"You worry too much, cousin!" she yelled back, trying to knock the quaffle out of one of the chasers' hands. Lily's heart finally went back to beating normally once they had made their goal. Longbottom was now trying to block a pass, distracted by a bludger zooming towards him, he backed off, letting the chaser take the shot.

"Slytherin goal" Lovegood said monotonously, putting 10 points on the board for them. James looked around, he needed that snitch. It was then that he saw McNair's wand out. He looked to see who it was pointed at. With all three of Gryffindor's chasers coming downfield, he wasn't sure. James zoomed down to the action, yelling at Sirius, "Sirius! 31!" he yelled. Sirius looked around for McNair, finding him on the left side of the field, wand pointed at Bell. "Protego!" Sirius yelled as McNair fired his charm. McNair flared his nostrils at him, swinging a bludger towards him. It came towards him so quickly, Sirius was almost unable to hit it back with his bat, it barely grazed the top of the bat, knocking it askew, spinning off towards James who was sitting still above them, looking out for any hexing. Sirius only had a split second to yell at him before it hit, "JAMES!" he yelled. James looked towards Sirius, but only saw a bludger coming towards his arm. Dipping down, he spun around his broom, the bludger missing him by a millisecond. James's heart continued to race as he straightened himself up on his broom again. He dove towards Sirius, Sirius meeting him halfway.

"Thanks for that, mate" James said, still hearing his heartbeat in his ears.

"Right. I think you should catch that snitch soon" Sirius told him.

"I think you're right" James said upon seeing Slytherin score another goal. He flew around the pitch again, now only looking for the snitch. He didn't see it. Flying around once more, below the players, he then caught a glimmer of gold by the teachers' stands. Squinting further, he saw it. James zoomed towards it, dodging the chasers as they flew up field. Zabini was hot on his trail, as he had seen it also. James was just in reach of it when he heard a scream. The snitch zoomed up, high above the game. James was in a full stall, flying straight up. He reached out, enclosing his fingers around the struggling ball. Then it hit him. Pain rushed through his body as his broom stalled, he fell backwards off of it. Fluttering in and out of consciousness, the last thing he remembered was the pain seizing through his body like lightning.

"Minne, he deserved it and you know it!" Sirius was yelling.

"I am in full awareness of what he deserves Mr. Black, however, the rules are rules, and I have no choice in the matter! It's not like I can give you 50 points for pulverizing Malfoy's face! I'm sorry, Sirius, but I have no choice. You are suspended from the next game" Professor McGonagall explained. James could have sworn he heard something break then, but there was no backlash, so he thought maybe he had just dreamed the entire thing.

James felt a hand on his forehead, then his cheek, and then he noticed someone was holding his hand, the same hands that were feeling his face were now in his hand.

"Oh good gods, he looks positively dreadful. How long is that going to take to heal?" he heard Fess ask.

"Madame Pomfrey says he'll be out by the night. Just bruising" Lily told her. James heard how close she was. Wait. She was the one holding his hand! His insides squirmed with excitement.

"I hope that bruise on his face heals by tomorrow" Sirius said.

"Sirius, he broke the bone under his eye, what do you expect?" Lily said.

"I expect that he should look as handsome as he always does, not like someone who-"

"Just fell off of their broom?" James said waking up finally.

"James!" they all said crowding around him. "You gave us a right scare, mate! But guess what? We won!" Sirius said happily.

"Really? So what happened to me?" he asked.

They all looked at each other skeptically. "You can't get mad, James. Sirius is already suspended. So when we tell you, you have to promise that you won't go looking for Malfoy" Lily said cautiously.

"What. Did. He. Do" James said slowly. Remus came up behind them, "James, you have to promise" he said. James pursed his lips angrily, "Fine. I promise" he said through his gritted teeth.

"He used the cruciatous curse on you" Fess said quietly.

"He did WHAT?" James yelled.

"Well, McNair hit a bludger towards you, and then Malfoy said crucio, and we didn't know which one to try and stop first because they both kind of hit you at the same time and we all flew to you trying to stop you from falling, but Lily, Lily had already done a charm that would keep you from falling so quickly. So you just kind of fell gracefully to the ground. But you were twitching and it was terrible. Horrifying actually. Sirius got off of his broom and just started hitting Malfoy, he just got released a few minutes ago. He sort of broke about 5 of the bones in his face. And I went to hex McNair, but Professor McGonagall grabbed me and took my wand before I could. It took Hagrid, Remus, Westly, and Frank to get Sirius off of Malfoy. It was terrible. We should have been watching you, we knew you were diving for the snitch!" Fess said, almost in tears.

"Great. So that's what felt like lightning shooting up my spine. Wonderful" James said sarcastically.

Lily glanced to Remus and Sirius, swallowing hard before she spoke, "There's something else" she said quietly. James looked solemnly at her, "What could possibly be worse?" he asked. She wouldn't look him in the eye, "Malfoy didn't get in trouble. Slughorn wasn't paying attention and didn't see him curse you, so he says he can't punish him based on 'here-say'" Lily explained.

"WHAT? HE GOT AWAY WITH IT? He tortures me and gets away with it! Great! What the fuck was Slughorn doing? Why cant Dumbledore do anything about it? What the fuck is wrong with these people? He just walks free, no detention, no suspension from quidditch, no….anything? His ass is going to be walking around the school like he's a god now! Why the fuck-" James was yelling.

"Mr. POTTER! I will not have that kind of language in my infirmary! I understand that you are upset, but you can save your anger until I release you! And you all! If you all being here is going to make him this angry you can all just leave! OUT! His blood pressure does not need to be any higher than it already was! Get OUT! All of you!" Madame Pomfrey yelled at them, throwing her hands in the air as if the was waving away flies.

"Right. Sorry, Madame Pomfrey. We'll see you tonight, James" Fess said apologetically. "See you later, Prongs" Sirius said before turning to leave with Fess. Remus nodded at James, then left with them.

"Ms. Evans, did you not hear me? It means you also! You best be gone in the next thirty seconds or I'll be kicking you out with a boot!" Madame Pomfrey told her, turning to check on the person in the bed across from James.

Lily turned back to James, then noticed that she still had her hand in his. Blushing, she removed it, "Guess I should get going too before she kills me" she said softly. Looking at James's profile, she saw the vein in his neck twitch as he clenched his jaw. He breathed heavily before looking at her. "I don't understand how he's getting away with it" he said softly, the veins in his arms pulsing as he clenched his fists again.

She swallowed hard, "I'll go talk to Slughorn, see what he says. Atleast get him to give him a detention or something" she said quietly.

"A detention? Lily, he used a damn unforgivable curse on me and you say 'maybe a few detentions'? I could have been killed, him hitting me with that at the altitude I was at! Do you not realize-" James said angrily.

"Yes I realize that you could have died! Do you think I haven't been thinking about that in the two hours I've been sitting here by your bed? Do you think I didn't think about that when I sent a charm at you to stop your ass from being splattered on the ground? Yes I've thought about it! I said I would talk to Slughorn! If that's not good enough then…you can…you can dance with Moaning Myrtle tomorrow night!" she spat quietly at him. She couldn't think of anything else to say before she walked out, his expression still angry.

Lily walked out of the infirmary and went straight to Professor Slughorn's office. Knocking hard on his door, she waited impatiently for him to answer. He opened the eye slip of his door to see who it was.

"Oh! Ms. Evans! This is a pleasant surprise! Come in, come in!" he said opening his door widely. She walked in, trying to control her anger, she didn't want it to come across like she was mad at Professor Slughorn, though she was, but she was more upset at the way James had just reacted to her mentioning going to see him. She smiled weakly at him as he offered her a cup of tea. "Can I get you a cup of tea? Just finished brewing! And I do make a great cup of tea, if I say so myself! Or would you like a scone or anything? A few of the elves just brought them up!" he said happily, then seeing the expression on her face, his smile faltered a little. "Dear girl! What ever is the matter!" he asked.

"Professor, I came to ask why you weren't giving Malfoy a detention or suspending him from quidditch or some kind of punishment for what he did to James" she said.

"I'm afraid I didn't see him cast the spell. And I don' like to go on here-say. You know that" he explained.

"I know sir, but every student at the game and every teacher can tell you what he did. Did you not hear him shout the incantation?" Lily asked.

"Well, I heard someone shout it, but I can't be sure who it was! For all I know it was someone on the Gryffindor team"

"How can you say that? Who do you know on the Gryffindor team that would curse their own teammate? And behind their back! It's a cowardly thing to do, only something a Slytherin would do and you know it!" she shouted at him.

"You dare talk about my house!"

"Yes I dare! He nearly killed him Professor! James almost ended up on the quidditch pitch dead! Would you have accepted that Malfoy hexed him if that had happened?" she yelled.

"Well, I-"

"You what? Are you still denying that Malfoy hexed Frank at the last game? Did you think it was out of line for him to get kicked out? You baffle me! An unforgivable curse was used on a student and you are turning your head as if nothing happened! As if the game was just as pleasant as a Sunday afternoon! How can you?"

"Alright, alright! I know it was him! I just didn't want to hear his father's wrath when he learned I'd given him detention, or a suspension! Is that so wrong?" Slughorn pleaded.

"Yes! It is wrong! Don't be a coward Professor!" Lily said. Slughorn paced around the room, shaking his head, "Alright, Ms. Evans. I'll let Professor McGonagall figure out his punishment, or give her permission to punish him as she sees fit" he said quietly.

"Thank you Professor! Thank you!" Lily said, her face lighting up and smiling. She hugged him before running to the door.

"Oh Ms. Evans" he said calling her back. She stopped, hand on the doorknob, 'Sir?" she asked. "Could you give Minne the message for me? I don't know if I can face her after our argument this afternoon on the subject" Slughorn asked.

"If it means that Malfoy will be punished quicker, then yes, I'll be glad to. Thank you Professor" she said before running out of the door and to McGonagall's office. She passed Sirius walking down the hall slowly.

"Lily?" he yelled after her.

"Sorry Sirius! I'll explain later! Got to run!" she yelled back to him, smiling. Bursting in to McGonagall's office, she stopped to catch her breath. "Ms. Evans! What is the meaning of you bursting in here like this! I would think you would still be in the infirmary with Mr. Potter!" McGonagall said in her shrill voice.

"Sorry, Professor, we were kicked out of the infirmary once James learned about Malfoy not getting punished. And so I went to Professor Slughorn, talked to him ,and he said to give you this message: you have permission to punish Malfoy as you see fit" Lily said quickly.

"He…he said that?"

"Yes. He did" Lily said smiling.

"Well..I…good work Ms. Evans" McGonagall told her. Lily smiled happily, "Thank you Professor. I'll be going now" she said before leaving her office.

Lily practically skipped all the way to dinner. Sitting down beside Fess, she helped herself to the fruit in front of her, unable to wipe the smile off of her face. They all stared at her.

"What. Are. You. Smiling about?" Remus asked.

"I just talked Slughorn in to punishing Malfoy" she said happily.

"What? How'd you do that? What's he going to do?" Sirius asked.

"Well, he gave McGonagall permission to punish him as she sees fit" Lily said.

"You're joking! Minnie, punishing Malfoy? That's brilliant! Have you told James?" Sirius said.

"No. He'll find out" she said.

They finished their dinner, all deciding to turn in early since tomorrow was going to be such a long day. Lily walked slowly up to her dorm, completely beat from the day's events. She had stashed away some food in her bag for James, whenever he was released. She knew he would be starving. She could feel her face becoming warm again, her fever spiking. Walking in to the dorm, she set the food down on the table beside the couch, putting a spell on it so that it wouldn't get cold, then sat on the floor in front of the couch to work on her essay more. James walked in to the dorm a little over an hour later, finding Lily trying to stay awake on the floor. Her head nodded sleepily as he walked through the door. Hearing him, she blinked a few times, then looked towards him. James ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"I see you got out in one piece" she said.

"Yeah. So you talked to Slughorn, then?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "Yes" she replied.

"I cant believe you actually got him to let McGonagall punish him" James said, still unable to look at her.

"It wasn't easy. I had to call him a coward" she said.

"You did what? You insulted a teacher?"

"Well, how the hell else did you think I'd gotten him to do it? Sleep with him? I'm not that kind of girl, James, if you didn't already know! Yes I called him a coward. I'll be lucky if he even grades me fairly for the rest of the semester! I just lost my favorite teacher! So don't you dare stand there and tell me that I don't care like you did earlier" she spat at him.

James couldn't say anything. He then noticed the food sitting on the table, and heard his stomach growl with hunger. Lily snorted, "It's yours" she said talking about the food.

"You didn't have-" he started.

"I know I didn't have to. But I did, ok?" she hissed at him. James picked up a bread roll, then sat it back down, "Lily, I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"James, why bother?" she said looking up at his face, shaking hers.

"Will you shut up, get out of this damn sour mood, and listen to me for a minute? I said I'm sorry!" he said.

"No. There's nothing for you to be sorry for. You had just been tortured, nearly died, and told that the person who did that to you was getting off scant free! You were perfectly in your right to yell at me for thinking a slight detention would be enough. I should have worded my statement about Slughorn better. It's my fault" she said quickly.

"Right. Then, what are you so….so damn upset or angry about?" he asked.

"You just think that I don't care, and I do, and it drives me insane! I…I….I don't know what you want from me" she said.

"Lily...I…thank you" he said. She looked up, giving him a confused face. "For practically saving my life, I mean" he finished.

A small smile played on her lips as she looked back to her essay in her lap. "You seem so surprised that I actually did it" she said shaking her head.

"A bit. I would have expected it from Remus, since Sirius was on the field with me. Peter wouldn't have known the incantation" he said grabbing the plate of food and sitting on the floor with her.

"Are they the only people you think would save your life?"

"Well….I've never really thought about it before. I suppose. I guess that's why you saving me just surprises me so" he said, biting off a bit of bread.

She smiled out of the corner of her mouth, "I think anything I do still surprises you, James. You should get used to it" she said writing down on her essay.

"I should?"

"You should"

"Example?" he asked.

She put her essay down, then turned her body to look at him, "Example" she said then thought a minute, "well, I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow for an example" she said batting her eyes and smirking.

James snorted, "Not if I'm dancing with Moaning Myrtle. Isn't that what you said?"

Lily laughed, "Yes, but I think you'll have at least one more dance partner than Myrtle"

"I will? That's a relief! So, can I see your dress?" he asked.

"What? No! That would ruin the whole drama of the event!" she told him.

"Ah come on!" he begged.

"No!" she said sternly. He pouted, poking his bottom lip out and looking at her over his glasses.

"Oh stop it, you know you cant even see me over those glasses!" she joked. "Hey! Not nice! I nearly died, and you're being mean! That's rude!" he said jokingly.

"Oh and let's not forget why you are still alive!" she said proudly.

"Right right. Remind me to thank Sirius for saving my broom" he said. She pushed him over into the armchair. Laughing, James grabbed her arm as she pushed him over, he hit his head on the bottom of the chair as he fell. Still laughing, he reached for his head, rubbing it. Lily laughed, laying her head on his chest. She quickly noticed the position she was in, one leg between his, her arms laying on his chest, his hands laying lazily on her hips, her body perfectly fitting on top of his. She planted her hands on either side of him, propping herself up.

"Are you ok?" she asked still laughing softly.

He looked up at her emerald eyes, becoming serious, "I think I will be" he said reaching a hand up to her face, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. She seemed to lean into his hand unknowingly. Lily felt herself take in a sharp breath of air as he touched her face. Slightly closing her eyes, but opening them quickly, hoping he hadn't really noticed.

"I'd…I'd better get to bed" she whispered.

"Why?" he whispered back, tracing the outline of her cheekbone with his thumb.

His calloused hands rubbed gently against her cheek, Lily felt goosebumps on her arms, it was a simple thing for him to be doing, but being this close to him, on the floor, was making her crazy. "I just.. I just think…think I should be…should be…um…" she stuttered, James had reached up and was now planting kisses on her forehead, her cheekbone, her cheek, her nose, her jaw, he then stopped, looking at her, the hand on her hip gripping her tightly. Her eyes fluttered as he had kissed her face. She opened her eyes to meet his intense, hazel eyes.

"You should be going to bed" he said quietly. She looked at him, bewildered. Blinking a few times, she pushed herself off of him, standing. She didn't know why she was upset, she was the one who had suggested she needed to go to bed. Gaining her composure, she looked back at James before going up the stairs. He was snickering.

"Are you laughing?" she asked.

"I might be" he said.

"….why?" she asked.

"Don't worry yourself with it, Lily. Just worry about how you're going to keep up with me on the dance floor tomorrow night" he said with a wink.

"Oh right, right, I forget you are the lord of the dance" she said walking up the staircase.

"Goodnight, Lily" he yelled to her.

"Night James" she yelled back down.

"Oh! James!" she said running back down to the landing.

"What?" he asked.

"It's black" she said smiling.

"What is?" he asked.

"I think you'll figure it out. Goodnight!" she yelled back, heading up the stairs again.

**A/N::::Next chapter...the Halloween Ball! R/R! Thanks! **


	13. Halloween Ball: PART ONE

**A/N::::: ****While typing the Halloween Ball chapter, I have like …25 pages or something in Microsoft word so far, therefore, I decided to split it into two parts so that you wouldn't have soooooo much in one single chapter…so, basically, here's the teaser to the Ball ;-) **

Carnival Final Day::: October 31st, Halloween Ball…. _**PART ONE!**_

Lily woke up the next morning to the sound of intense knocking on her door. The knocking stopped after a moment, and thinking maybe she had just been dreaming, she turned over to go back to sleep. The knocking started again. Lily sat up in the bed, yelling "Whatttttt?" groggily to the person knocking on her door. Throwing back the covers, she stepped out of her bed going to answer the door. It was James.

James looked at the just-out-of-bed Lily Evans. Her hair a mess, tangled, frizzed, her eyeliner smudged, her tank half falling off of her, no bra, and then her underwear, which was peculiar, they looked like mens boxer briefs, but fit her like a glove.

"Can I help you James or are you just going to stand there and look at me?" she said sleepily. He blinked out of his stare.

"Sorry, Lily, I didn't realize you were still asleep. Its after twelve. And I thought maybe you would want to go help with some of the decorating in the Great Hall. McGonagall's been asking for you all morning" he said.

"After twelve? James! Why didn't you wake me?" she asked him furiously, turning around to grab some clothes.

"I thought you were with Fess or something. How was I supposed to know you were still asleep?" he said walking in to her room.

She was bent over in her closet searching for a pair of jeans to quickly put on. Upon finding them, she merely slipped them on, not caring that James was standing in the room with her. "Maybe because I wasn't at breakfast or anything? Or because my room door was closed? I never leave it closed!" she said putting slipping on a sweatshirt over her tank. She quickly ran into the bathroom, brushed her hair and put it in a ponytail. Wiping her face with cold water, she decided she really didn't care this morning, and went to walk out of her room.

James didn't move, "Um, Lily, aren't you going to um…put the girls up?" he asked smirking at her. She was hurrying so much she'd forgotten to put a bra on. Looking down at her shirt, the looking back at James, she said, "I really don't give a damn right now. I have on a sweatshirt. I think I'll be ok" she said before turning back around and heading down the steps. "Besides, the only one looking will be you. And you already know I don't have anything on" she added, smirking.

'Damn that woman!' James thought to himself. "You're trying to kill me aren't you?" he asked her, smiling. She abruptly stopped and turned to face him just outside of the portrait hole, "Now why would I want to do that before tonight?" she whispered, then turned quickly to head out of the door. James gulped, "Why? What happens tonight?" he said to her, a little louder since she had picked up pace. She smirked, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "I don't know. I just know it's going to be a good night" she said back to him.

They reached the Great Hall, finding all the teachers hard at work, hanging streamers here and there, enchanting the candles to turn different colors with the music, putting out circle tables at the back of the room, everything they needed for that night.

Lily stopped at the entrance, taking in everything they had done so far, "It looks beautiful!" she exclaimed to James, "how long have you guys been working on this?"

"Nearly all morning" a voice said behind her.

She turned around to see Professor Dumbledore smiling at her.

"Oh, Professor! I'm so sorry! I overslept! I can't believe I overslept today! Today of all days! It won't happen again, Headmaster!" Lily said pleadingly. James snorted at her.

"Not to worry, Ms. Evans. Mr. Potter here has been doing a fine job at telling us where everything needs to be and how you wanted everything, so he has been a suitable replacement this morning. But I daresay, it is good to see you here, dear" he told her, that sparkle in his eye gleaming as usual.

"Well, I'm just glad James came and woke me up" she said to him, smiling.

"Oh! Ms. Evans! Well, Potter, I see you've found her! Good, good! Now, Ms. Evans I need your assistance on where exactly you want these runners placed!" **BANG** "! How many times have I told you, NO FIREWORKS!" McGonagall said grabbing Lily's arm and leading her off, her arms flying in the air when Sirius set off a large firework. Lily snickered at him, then turning to James she mouthed "Where is she taking me?"

James shrugged his shoulders, laughing at her, then walked over to where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were trying to get a few of the pumpkins to be strobe lights on command.

"Mate, what are you blowing up?" he asked Sirius, laughing.

"I didn't mean to! I didn't know it was a firework! Moony told me to!" Sirius said pointing to Remus. Remus put his hands in the air, "Hey, don't blame that one on me! So, Prongs, I see you and Lily are getting on well this morning" Remus observed.

"You think so?" James asked, putting his hands in his pockets, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

"Do we think so…um yes" Peter said sarcastically.

"Mate, does Lily have on a bra today?" Sirius asked him, looking around at Lily helping McGonagall, standing on a ladder.

"Um…well…no, no she doesn't" James said.

"And you call me the dog? Prongs! Why didn't you tell us you were getting it on with her!" Sirius asked quickly.

"Because I'm not! I woke her up and she said she didn't feel like wearing one this morning so…she didn't wear one! I had nothing to do with it! I swear!" James said defensively.

"Right, right, and I supposed her hair just does that on its own in the mornings?" Sirius said with a wink.

"Actually it does, it was a lot frizzier before she brushed it, all tangled and everything" James said thoughtfully. He then looked at the frozen faces of his mates, "I mean…ugh! She came to her door when I woke her up just as she'd gotten out of bed. In her tank and underwear, hadn't brushed her hair, teeth, taken her makeup off, nothing. That's it! I didn't sleep with her!" James explained.

Remus laughed at James's embarrassment. Sirius shook his head, going back to his pumpkins.

"We believe you today, Prongs. Tomorrow may be a different story" Peter told him, nodding towards Lily, who was staring at them. James looked over to her, smiled, and seeing her smile, then blush and look away, he nervously ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Wormtail" he said with a large grin.

**BANG** They all looked at Sirius. His face was black with soot, his hair now blown back, frizzed. He put a hand up, "Sorry! Sorry!" he told everyone as McGonagall went to yell at him. The guys laughed at him. "Mate, I've never seen you have so much trouble with an enchantment before" Remus said laughing.

"You know I'm no good at charms!" Sirius told him.

"What? No, I didn't! You're lying! Just because you can't get a simple strobe light to work" Remus said lazily.

"Well then let's see you do it then!" Sirius challenged him.

Remus leaned over to the pumpkin, said a couple of charms, then sat back as the pumpkin candlelight became a strobe light. Sirius stared at it, baffled, "How'd you do that? You knew how to do that and you just watched me blow stuff up? Why would you do that?" he asked, upset.

Remus laughed, "It was funny" he said.

James shook his head at his friends. "So who're you guys taking to the ball tonight?" he asked them.

"Going as a lone wolf" Remus said with a small smile.

"Hoping to pick up some cheese there" Peter said.

"Well…I um…I haven't exactly…asked…her.. But umm…" Sirius said nervously, rubbing his neck.

"Oh good job, Padfoot, you didn't ask Fess?" James said smirking at him.

"You didn't ask Lily" he retorted.

James pursed his lips, "Touché. But I haven't been making out with Lily and sleeping with her for the past week either"

"Neither have I! I mean, we've only been actually shagging for 2 days…" Sirius said.

"And how long before that were you snogging?" James questioned him.

"Not…long" Sirius said slowly.

"FESS!" James yelled, going off to find her. She was helping Flitwick with some of the streamer decorations, when she saw a determined James Potter striding towards her.

"Hello, James! You look quite…well I'm not sure what you look like. Rather determined though, what's on your mind?" she asked, handing Flitwick another streamer.

"How long have you been snogging Sirius?" he asked.

She was taken aback, "We only snogged a few times before this week, James. Don't get your knickers in a twist. I should be asking you how long you've been snogging Lily" she said.

"Snogging Lily? I've only kissed her twice! And…one time was her fault, the other was mine, we're even" he said matter-of-factly. Fess tried to keep herself from smiling, she failed.

"I know that smile. What are you up to?" he asked.

"Well, it's certainly not me!" she said before bursting out in a laugh and turning back around to assist Flitwick.

James turned back, walking towards the Marauders again, confused. What did everyone else know that he didn't? His train of thoughts was interrupted by Professor Dumbledore, "James, I wonder, could I have your assistance for just a moment? You're much taller than me" he said to James.

"Of course, Professor" James said following him to the front of the Great Hall.

"Could you just see if you can hoist this table up for a moment? Just a moment" he asked him. James thought a minute about using his wand, but the Professor seemed keen on James using his strength to hoist the table up. Using all he had, James lifted the table, holding it while Dumbledore worked his magic on the floor beneath him.

He was giving the multi-leveled floor more levels, James guessed it was for dramatic effect, although he couldn't really see much as he was being lifted off the ground with the new levels. When the Professor was done, James looked down, "Um, Professor? How do you suggest I get down?" James asked, as the levels were now flat in front, leaving him standing on just a tall, two foot in width, surface

"You jump!" Dumbledore said with enthusiasm.

"And the table?" James asked.

"It jumps with you" Dumbledore said.

"No offense Professor, but the last time I fell this far I nearly died, so is there any other way? My broom perhaps?" James said nervously.

"Now James, do you really think that anyone in this room would let you die?" he asked him seriously.

James's eyes immediately shot to Lily's. "No, I don't" he said looking at her. He then jumped. The table disappeared from his arms, and when he hit the floor he bounced back up as if he'd hit a trampoline.

"Whoa! Can I go next?" he heard Sirius say. After landing softly on the next bounce, James laughed, turning his attention to Dumbledore.

"Why exactly did you need my help in doing that?" he asked him.

"Well, I needed someone to hold my table! I couldn't have it crashing into the ground now could I? That's my favorite table!" Dumbledore exclaimed happily. James laughed, standing up and brushing off his jeans.

"Alright, students, I think it'd be best if we save all the other surprises for you all tonight. So I must ask you all to leave. Thank you for your help!" Dumbledore told all of them.

Lily and Fess groaned, "Do we have to?" Lily asked.

"I think you do, Ms. Evans, if you want to be ready in time. Now, go on! Go enjoy the sun for a bit!" he told them.

"Great. Who's up for a short game of quidditch then?" James asked.

They all walked outside, greeting the cool sun with delight. Some other students were out on the grass, some under the trees. It was then they noticed the Hufflepuff quidditch team having practice.

"Well, quidditch is out of the question then. Hagrids?" Sirius said.

"Yes, Hagrid's" they all agreed. Walking down the hill to Hagrid's, they laughed as Sirius told some of his one-line jokes. James hung back, walking the same pace as Lily. When he'd finally slowed down enough to talk to her, got close enough that no one could hear their conversation.

"A bit cold, are we?" he whispered to her. Her eyes widened. She immediately crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head at his cheekiness. "Only you would notice, James. And then actually say something about it" she said to him.

"Do you want everyone to look at them? If you do then, by all means, flaunt" he joked. She shoved him with her elbow, "You're impossible, James Potter" she said looking up at him.

"Impossible? No I think I'm rather possible, if you allow it to be" he said, smirking. She didn't say anything, just smiled crookedly at him and continued walking. Hagrid looked up from the edge of the lake as he heard laughter filling the air, then he heard his name.

"Hagrid!" James yelled.

"Hagriddddd!" Fess yelled in a much higher voice.

"Oh hello Hagrid!" Sirius yelled. Hagrid laughed at them, "Hello. What are you all doing? I figured you'd be helping with the decorations for the ball tonight" he said to them as then approached him at the water's edge.

Picking up a small stone, James threw it on to the water's surface, making it skip three times, "Well, we were. But Dumbledore kicked us out. You know how secretive he is about events like these" James told him, picking up another stone.

"Aye. I do. Anyone fancy a cup of tea?" Hagrid asked.

"No thanks, Hagrid" they all said politely. He sat back on one of the pumpkins, picking up his flute-like instrument, playing a simple tune.

Lily watched as James picked up the small stones and made them skip across the water. She'd always wanted to know how to do it. Walking over to him, she grabbed his arm just as he was about to throw it across the water.

"How are you doing that?" she asked simply.

"Doing what?" he said, tossing the rock.

"That" she said nodding towards the rock skipping on the surface.

"It's a secret" he said smirking.

"Yeah, Lily, we'd all have to kill him if he told you how to do that" Sirius said walking up beside them, choosing a slick pebble from the water and tossing it across.

"Oh and we wouldn't want that, would we?" she said laughing.

"Well, if you wanted him dead, I assume you would have let him die yesterday" Remus suggested from the other side of Lily. Lily became serious, "Yes, Remus, I suppose you're right. But I'm not the one talking about killing him, am I?"

"Touché. You are talking about getting him killed though, isn't that the same thing?" Remus asked. James threw his hands in the air, "Can we please not talk about me dying? Makes me damn nervous!" he said quickly.

They all busted out laughing at him, "Aw, is the little stag afraid of dying?" Lily joked.

He suddenly became serious, "Depends on the chapter of my life I'm in actually" he said turning back to the water, throwing a stone. They all stopped laughing, seeing James so serious worried them.

"Hey, Hagrid, how about that cup of tea?" Sirius asked. Hagrid stopped playing his flute, "Of course, of course, come on" he said to them, gesturing for them to come inside his hut. They walked to Hagrid's door, going inside, when Remus looked back seeing that James hadn't moved.

"Hey, Prongs! You coming in?" he yelled at him.

James turned around, "No thanks, mate"

Remus turned to Lily, who nodded at him and walked out to where James was. Sitting on a rock next to James, she looked up at him, "What was that all about?" she asked.

"Nothing. Stupid" he said running a hand through his hair.

"I don't think its stupid. What's wrong?" she pushed.

"I said it was nothing. Don't worry about it" he replied.

"James, I try not to worry, because I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. Gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere" she told him.

"A rocking chair?" he asked her curiously.

"Oh. Right. It's nothing, stupid muggle contraption. It's really quite…well pointless. It's a chair, with this curved bottom attached to the legs of it so that when you sit in it you can just rock back and forth…Wow, I never realized how damn pointless that thing is!" she said laughing at herself.

James gave her a quizzical look, "So are you ready for tonight?" he asked, he couldn't think of anything else to ask to get her mind off of his previous statements.

"No, not really. I need to work on my balance and some new dance moves if I'm going to kick your ass on the dance floor" she told him smiling.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked.

"Yes, I do believe it is" she said. He sat on the rock next to her just as she was preparing to stand. "What? No! Stand!" she told him, standing, "I told you, I have to work on my balance" she said standing up tall.

"Don't stand too straight, you'll poke someone's eye out" he said as he stood. Her jaw dropped and she pushed him.

"Ow woman! Enough with the abuse!" he said laughing.

"Well…you should have told me we were going to be doing all of this, maybe I would have put a bra on!" she whispered, as Peter and Sirius had just walked out of Hagrid's hut. James snickered, walking closer to her, "I know of a few other things we could be doing that don't require one" he whispered to her. Her nostrils flared as she tried to contain her laughter and put on an angry face, "I'll deal with you later. I'd hate to embarrass you in front of your friends" she whispered, poking his chest.

"I look forward to it" he said as Sirius yelled at him.

"Prongs!" he yelled.

"Padfoot!" James yelled back.

"We have to go pick up our dress robes" Sirius told him.

"Oh, right, right. Ok. Are we going now?" James asked.

"Yeah, mate, it's after 3, I told them we'd be there by now" Sirius explained. James nodded his head as Sirius and Peter started to walk towards the hill leading back to the castle. James turned back to Lily, "Are you feeling ok, so far today? I haven't asked" he said.

"Yes. 10x better than yesterday" she said.

"Good, so you won't be sneezing all over everyone tonight" he said absentmindedly.

"Oh right because no one wants these germs!" she said laughing. He chuckled as Sirius yelled at him again. Taking Lily's hand, he kissed it, "Until tonight, Ms. Evans" he said.

"See you, James" she said to him with a wink, then watched him grin widely before running to meet Sirius and Peter halfway up the hill.

"I swear mate, if it takes you that long to get away from her when you are dating, how the hell long is it going to take you to get away when you do start dating?" Sirius asked him as he caught up to them. They heard Remus running behind them, catching up as well.

"I don't know what you're on about, Padfoot" James said.

"I do. It takes you forever to tell her bye now. When you two do start dating, you're not going to be able to stop the PDA long enough to leave!" Remus said as he caught up.

James laughed, "How was tea?" he asked.

"Oh tea with Hagrid is always great. You know he has the best cups ever. And that new puppy of his is just…cute" Sirius explained.

"Cute? You're using the word cute?" Peter asked.

"Yes! It's a puppy!" Sirius said defensively.

"And you do love dogs" Remus said laughing.

"You know mate, you should just stay a dog, like permanently. You just love being a dog" James suggested.

"I would, and I've thought about it, but after a day or so the fleas just take over and its…its unbearable, mate, it really is" Sirius explained, a sour look on his face. They laughed at him as they approached the courtyard.

"James, you bring the map?" Peter asked.

"I did, Wormtail, thanks for reminding me when I went to wake up Lily this morning" James said taking it out of his back pocket. After swearing that he was up to no good, he searched the map for the One-Eyed Witch, seeing if the coast was clear.

"All good guys" he said before they set off for Hogsmeade.

Lily watched as James ran up the hill to catch the marauders. Snickering to herself, she turned back towards the water, watching the sun's rays dance on the water's reflective surface. She smiled, wondering what the rest of the day would have in store for her. She heard a twig break as Fess quietly walked to the edge of the water where she was.

"You know what I'm going to miss?" Fess asked.

"What's that?"

"Peace. And days like this, when you feel like you haven't a worry in the world" Fess explained to her solemnly. Lily threw an arm over Fess's shoulders, "I know" she said to her. They looked out over the horizon, silently, deep in thought about their futures, the virtual unknown.

"We should go dye your hair" Lily said to Fess. She snorted. "That bad, huh?" Fess said.

"Well, with that dress, I'd say hell yes" Lily said laughing.

"You're right. Orange with gold…yuck…gives me the chills" Fess said with a fake shiver. Lily laughed.

"Speaking of chills, um…Lily, where is your bra?" Fess asked her as they walked up the hill to the castle. Lily tried to pretend she'd just noticed she didn't have on one, "Oh damn! I can't believe I haven't been wearing one this whole time! Why didn't anyone tell me?" she said stopping on the hill to throw her 'tantrum'.

Fess raised an eyebrow at her, "Lily, if there's one thing that you put on every single morning, it's a bra. Sooo….what made this morning any different?" she asked, continuing to walk up the hill.

"Well, I mean, I overslept, and I felt like crap to begin with, and then um…James woke me up…and I was just putting on my clothes while he was in there and umm…I just forgot I guess…and then when he asked about it, I don't know what happened, I didn't want to put one on. I felt like shit! I have an excuse! And I thought we were just going to decorate the Great Hall!" Lily explained.

"Don't get your knickers, or lack-thereof, in a twist, I just wondered if you would admit that you didn't want to put one on!" Fess said laughing at her.

"I do have on knickers, thank you very much!" Lily said sticking out her tongue.

"That's not to say you will tonight" Fess muttered under her breath, rubbing her neck.

"What was that?"

"Hm? Oh, I didn't say anything" Fess said as they walked up the stairs.

"You know what I'm most excited about tonight?" Lily asked.

"What's that?"

"I just want to see Professor Dumbledore dance" Lily said smiling.

"Oh! That will be brilliant! I'll bet the man dances better than Fred Astaire!" Fess exclaimed, "You know who I want to see dance?" she said.

"Who?" Lily asked.

"Lovegood"

"What? Why? He probably does some kind of gliding thing where he's dodging nargles or something, probably moves his hands in front of him like this" Lily said waving her arms in a wiggle motion in front of her body.

Fess laughed, "Oh gods, I can't wait!" she said as they reached Gryffindor tower. Walking in, a fury of people immediately swarmed Lily, telling her hello. She smiled, making a bee-line for the stairs. When they finally made it to Fess's dorm they slammed the door shut.

"Holy shit, what is with those people? They act as if they haven't seen me all year! I've only been just down the hallway and they see me at every meal!" Lily said leaning on the door.

"They all think you and James are an item, and they want answers. We keep telling them no, but no one listens. It's like they will only hear it if it's from you" Fess told her as she searched her closet for their dresses. She had hidden them in her room so that if James went snooping he wouldn't find Lily's dress.

"Well, that's just great" Lily said throwing herself on Fess's bed. Fess threw her dress at her, "Come on, let's get everything and go back to your room. I don't want to have to fight 4 other girls for the bathroom" Fess said lazily.

"You're right. Makeup?" Lily said sitting up. "It's in the tackle box on the floor beside my bed" Fess said pointing. "Tackle box, Fess? Couldn't buy an actual makeup case?" Lily asked laughing.

"What? No! A tackle box is just as suitable! And much less expensive!" Fess said getting a few things from the bathroom. "Alright, shoes, dress, hair, makeup, anything else?" she asked. Lily shook her head. "Ok, let's go face the music again, shall we?" she said before opening the door to walk downstairs. This time Lily told people hello, and answered questions.

"Hey Lily!" one girl said to her. "Hi" Lily said walking down the stairs. "Is it true you're going out with James Potter?" the girls asked. Lily stopped and turned to her, smiling, "No, I'm not going out with him. And if you or anyone else has any questions in the future you can ask me or Fess. She's not going to lie to you" Lily said before continuing to walk down the stairs.

After finally making it out of the Lion's Den (or so it felt) they walked a little further down the hall to Lily's dorm. Walking in, they heard laughter. Lily turned to Fess, who's eyes were wide, "Why are they here?" she whispered.

"I don't know! Just walk casually!" Fess whispered back. Lily took in a deep breath and then turned back around and proceded through the portrait hole to find all four marauders spread out in front of the fireplace. Sirius lounged across the armchair, laughing at the joke Peter had just told, who was sitting on the floor. Remus sitting in front of the couch, catching up on the Daily Prophet, and James taking up the entire couch with his long body, playing with the snitch. Lily looked at him questionably, "I thought you'd put that thing away a long time ago" she said snickering.

"What? This? I got bored. What's that?" he asked nodding to the dress bag in her hand.

She tried to put it behind her back, "What's what?"

"That bag. Is that your dress?" he asked.

"Oh! Is that your's too, Fess?" Sirius asked, sitting up a little.

"It might be. Now, if you'll excuse us, boys, we have to get ready" Fess said with a wink before dragging Lily up the stairs.

"Fess, it's only 4. We have to get ready now? Let's go hang out" Lily suggested.

"Yeah, you're right. How about we take showers and then hang out while we wait for our hair to set?" Fess said.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll take my shower while you put this muggle hair color in your hair. You are not using magic this time! It turned out terribly the last time you did it!" Lily said walking in to the bathroom.

"Got that right. Take a good look, it's the last of this orange crap you'll ever see!" Fess said while she mixed the bottle of muggle hair color together.

"Hello burgundy!" Lily said laughing as she got in to the shower. When she was done, she wrapped the towel around herself and walked out of the bathroom, finding Fess sitting on her bed with toe nail polish.

"Looking good so far?" she asked.

"Yeah, you actually might want to go rinse it out, its looking quite black" Lily told her. While Fess showered, Lily slipped on her black and grey plaid cotton robe, then towel dried her hair, putting curl-activating mousse in it as well as gel. She then tried to charm it to where the curl would not fall out as it dried on its own. She would worry about volume later. Deciding that Fess was taking too long in the shower, Lily walked out of her room, going to chat with the marauders, taking a small towel with her to scrunch her hair as it dried. They all looked up as they heard the top step creak, watching her descend the stairs.

"Hello, boys" she said stepping off of the bottom step.

"I thought you were getting ready?" Remus asked.

"It's only 4. Takes me like…2 hours to get ready, if that, less than that now that I've showered" she said sitting on the edge of the couch, in front of James's feet. She looked at him, "Are you going to move your feet or not?" she asked. He thought about it a minute, "No, I like the angle from here"

"James move your feet! Please!" she asked again. He smirked, finally moving his feet, sitting up a little bit. "Thank you!" she said, sitting back in the couch, putting her legs up under her.

"So what are you blokes wearing tonight?" she asked.

"Well, I'll have you know that Peter is going to be the stud of the evening. Tell her about your dress robes, Wormtail" Sirius said.

Peter blushed, "They're solid black" he squeaked out.

"Oooo! You guys are letting Peter show you up in fashion and dance? What the bloody hell happened? Did you guys decided to roll over and die?" she joked.

"No, no, we can't help it if it's the truth. Peter has more swag than all of us" Remus said.

James snorted, "Yes, and he does dance better than all of us" he said.

"Oh so I should be going with Peter, and not you? Right, right" Lily said laughing as she dried the dripping water from the ends of her hair, not realizing what she'd just said. James stopped what he was doing, blinking his eyes a couple of times, glanced at Remus, who was just as confused as he was about this statement. Sirius broke the silence, "So, you two are going together then?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"No' they both said, Lily realizing what she'd said before changed her answer, "I mean yes" she said glancing up at James's now blank expression, his eyes wide. "I mean, I sort of assumed we were all going together" she said a little softer.

James's heart sank. He knew it was too good to be true.

Sirius turned back around to the fire, staring at it, not knowing what to say to his best friend. Fess came out of the room, noticing the silence.

"Ok, who did it?" she asked, descending the stairs.

"Did what?" James asked.

"Upset the balance of unawkwardness. Because the air is thick with awkwardness" she explained.

"Is anyone other than me hungry?" Peter asked.

"Wormtail, you're always hungry. But, I suppose I could use something to eat. How about you, babe?" Sirius asked, looking up at Fess, putting an arm around her legs from over the couch. She played in his hair, responding, "Sure. Lils, you hungry? Remus? James?"

Remus stood, agreeing that he could use some food. James shook his head. Lily replied, "No thanks" softly.

"I'll bring you guys back something anyway" Fess said as they all left the room.

James sighed, sinking lower in the couch as he laid, his legs bent, giving Lily room to sit. She sat up on her knees, then leaned over his bent legs, resting her arms on his knees, her head on her hands. She looked at him for a moment before asking, "James, you've been like this all day. This up and down mood. It's got to stop before tonight. What's wrong?" she said.

He stared back at her, clenching his jaw as he swallowed. He thought about how far he'd come this year, from her not even looking at him, to now this in a matter of two months. Smiling softly, he said, "Nothing. There's absolutely nothing wrong"

"Then why've you been acting all up and down today?" she asked, concerned.

"Lily, it's just, one minute I think I'm getting somewhere and then the next, I'm back to square one, so just don't worry about it" he said, then noticed the cold water he was feeling running down his leg, "You're hair is getting my pants wet" he said smiling.

"Are you sure it's my hair?" she said smirking. James closed his eyes, chuckling to himself. He shook his head, "Yes, I'm sure it's you're hair"

She sat back, grabbing the towel that she'd thrown on the floor, wrenching out the dripping water from her hair. Sitting back up she asked, "There, is that better? No dripping hair!"

"No, my pants are still wet" he said smiling mischievously because of where his pants were wet. Looking down, on his left upper thigh was the wet spot. She thought for a minute about ringing it out herself, then shook her head, throwing him the towel.

"And here I was thinking you were going to clean up your mess" he said shaking his head at her. He put his legs down in front of the couch so that he could get dry the spot with the towel. When he finished, he threw the towel back at her.

"So what do your dress robes look like?" she asked.

"I cant tell you that!" he said excitedly.

"Well why not!" she said pouting.

"Takes away from the drama" he told her with a wink. She pursed her lips at him, "Touché, Mr. Potter. Touché. That's ok, I don't need to know, Peter's already dressed to match me!" she said snickering.

"How do you know I'm not?" he said defensively.

"I…don't" she said slowly.

"Lily?"

"What"

"Your robe is coming undone" he said simply. She shrieked, turning quickly, not noticing that James had a hold of the sash and that was his plan. As she turned, she undid herself, leaving the sash in James's hand. He smirked at her as she turned slowly back around, realizing what had happened.

"You little thief!" she said trying to get the sash back and hold her robe together.

He held it up high, "Say please" he said.

"Please! Please give it back!" she said laughing.

"No" he said simply before standing up.

"Ah! James Potter, you are going to die!" she said standing also, holding her robe together in one hand, reaching up with the other. She sighed, putting her arm down, it was useless to try and take it from him, he was much taller than her.

"Oh come on James, you can play in my robe later" she said quickly.

James stopped concentrating on holding the sash as high as he could while he tried to comprehend what she'd said, "In your robes? That sounds like a proposition for later" he said.

"Oh, did I say later? I meant now" she said batting her eyes. James nearly dropped the sash as she walked closer to him, her robe slightly opened in the middle. He shook his head, realizing what she was doing, "You're trying to trick me!" he said.

"Well it was worth a try!" she said smiling, pulling her robe tightly together. James laughed, holding the sash higher in the air, circling towards the couch. Lily jumped for it a few times, "Give it back, James!" she begged. She then jumped once more, jumping too far towards him and knocking them both back into the couch. They laughed hysterically as Lily tried to hang on to him while they fell and hold on the her robe. She failed at both. They were still laughing with Fess and the rest of the Marauders walked in, carrying food. Pausing at the door, they all exchanged glances.

"Now see, the last time Remus and I walked in on you two, you had feathers in your hair. This time your robe is half off. Lily Evans, I do believe you are a freak" Sirius observed.

"I agree. What were you two doing this time? Wait, I know the excuse, James wanted to see what kind of fabric your robe was, right?" Remus asked.

Fess stood there, trying to contain her amusement at Lily's embarrassed face and James's look of shame and triumph.

"Yes, what were you two doing?" Peter asked.

"James tried to take my robe off!" Lily said defensively. They all burst out laughing.

"And…that…surprises you…how?" Remus asked between laughs.

"Sneaky little bugger, isn't he? He tell you it was coming off and then take the sash when you turned? Yeah, he learned that one from me!" Sirius said proudly.

"Now who's the freak?" she said.

"Who said I claimed to be otherwise?" Sirius said throwing his hands in the air as he laughed.

Lily turned back to James, sighing. "I suppose you want this back?" he asked, smiling.

"Hell, I may as well prance around stark naked with the way they think I am!" she joked, taking the sash from his hands. She pulled her robe together, tying it tightly with the sash once more, seeing James eye it, she said, "Don't even think about it"

"Wouldn't dream of it" he said with a wink. She snorted, "I think you already have" she said.

"What'd you guys bring us to eat?" James said quickly, changing the subject.

"Well, there wasn't much they could do for us, them preparing for the ball and everything. So they sent some candy, bread, chicken, and grapes. Oh and I snuck over to Three Broomsticks while they were getting food. Whole bottle of fire whiskey!" Sirius said, pulling the bottle from his pocket.

"I say we save that for after the dance. Have an after-party back here. We're all going to be pretty energized still, and its over at 11, so why not?" Lily suggested.

"Co-freak-ugh" Sirius said faking a cough. Lily smirked at him.

"I think that sounds like a good plan" Remus said.

"Ok then, everyone come back here at 11, and we'll have ourselves an after party!" James said excitedly, grabbing a string of grapes to eat. He tossed them in the air, catching them with his mouth. On the third one, Lily knocked it away, midair.

"Hey!" he protested.

"What? It was too good of an opportunity to pass up!" she said laughing. She nibbled on her bread as the clock drew nearer to 6:30.

"Oi! Lily, we have to go get ready now. And I'm sure the boys need to go shower" Fess said dragging Lily off of the floor.

"Shower?" James said.

"Yes, shower, again. I don't care if you did shower this morning, do it again!" Fess said walking up the stairs.

"Yes mother!" James yelled after her and Lily.

"To curl or not to curl…that is the question" Lily said as they entered her room. Fess looked at Lily's mop of hair.

"I thought you put gel and stuff in it when you got out of the shower?" Fess asked.

"I did, but all it did was take away the frizz. So now, should I put it in big hot rollers or just try and manage?" Lily asked holding out a strand of hair.

"Hmm….how about you just sit. And I'll fix it" Fess said before transfiguring a nearby pillow into a plump, comfy, chair. Fess went into Lily's bathroom, making a lot of noise, as if she was tearing the room apart.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked her laughing.

"Aha! I knew you had brought it!" Fess said pulling out a 1-inch curling iron from the bottom of Lily's bathroom closet.

"You're going to use the 1 inch iron on my hair?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Sure, why not?" Fess said plugging it up.

"Ok, you're the hair person, not me. Just please don't fuck up my hair" Lily begged.

"Well, if I do, I can always give you a wig to wear" Fess said joking.

"Oh haha, not funny!" Lily said pouting. It took Fess nearly an half hour to curl and fix Lily's hair. When it was finally done, she turned Lily around to the mirror, smiling.

"Ta-da!" Fess exclaimed. She had done straightened out the top of her hair until just above her ears, then done large and small curls throughout the bottom, parting her hair to the far left, giving Lily the illusion of swooping bangs.

"Oooo this is very…Jessica Rabbit I think" Lily said looking in the mirror.

"Yeah, too bad you don't have a red dress" Fess said smirking.

"No, black will do just fine I think" Lily said smiling, "Now, what are you doing to that mop on your head?" she asked.

"Oh gods, I haven't the foggiest" Fess said slumping on the bed.

"Your hair is always so harsh…try something simple" Lily told her as she opened Fess's makeup box.

"Yeah , you're right" Fess said getting up from the bed and going over to the mirror. Lily put on little makeup in her everyday routine, and didn't plan on changing it up much tonight. She wanted it to be simple, as her dress and hair were already stunning enough. She put on her normal foundation, powder, nude eye shadow, adding a white highlight just under her brows. Taking her eyeliner, she lined the top of her eye only a little darker than normal, making the outside longer, winging the liner. She then used a white eye pencil in the water line of her bottom lid, giving the illusion of bigger eyes for dramatic effect. After finishing up with another line of the black on bottom, a shimmer of white highlighter in the corner of her eyes, she finally a small swoop of blush on before mascara.

"What'd you think? Still too harsh?" Fess asked her turning around. Lily put down her mascara and looked up at her. She had lightly waved a few strands of her hair, not making them curly, just wavy, teased the top of it to give height, then waved the strands again. Her straight bangs frizzed slightly, giving a natural wavy appearance. It was simple.

"I like it" Lily said smiling.

"Ooo, I like what you did with your makeup, good choice not making it too dark" Fess complemented her. She went to the hanging bags, getting out their dresses. First she unzipped her own, taking it out of the bag. Its spaghetti straps hung lazily on the hanger, attaching to the v-shaped formation of the top. The gold lace around the hips hung perfectly, gathering on the left side of the dress, then cascading down the side. The bottom danced as she moved it from out of the bag, begging to be twirled around in. (A/N: Similar to Keira Knightley's Atonement dress)

Next, Fess got out Lily's dress. The shoulders of the black satin dress hung gracefully as the fabric went down to the waist in a plunging V. Tasteful, not trashy. The fabric actually went up her sides under her arms. It cinched below the V, on her hips, then flowed out. (A/N: Similar to Lea Michele's dress 2011 SAG awards)

Lily got up from the bed, getting out her lavender/vanilla spiced lotion to put on before she put her dress on. "I can't believe it's almost 8 already" she said looking at the clock.

"I know. You think the guys are waiting on us?" Fess asked.

"Not sure. They don't really have a reason to. Maybe we'll be so late that they'll go on and we just surprise them there" Lily said smirking.

Fess laughed, "Oh so now it's your mission to be late for the ball?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think it might be. I want to see their faces, not in here, but there" Lily said looking out the window.

"I think someone's daydreaming" Fess observed as she put on mascara.

"Am not!" Lily denied.

"Yes you are. So, are you going to finally admit it tonight? Kiss James under the bar lights?" Fess asked.

"Is the band going to be playing some song about forgetting myself for a while?" Lily asked.

"Only if the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to his smile" Fess said.

"And those black robes he's wearing, I haven't seen him, for a while" Lily sang, changing up the lyrics to one of her favorite songs. They laughed at themselves before putting the final touches on their makeup. Lily put on her dress, charming the plunging neckline to stay in place. She found her shoes, a pair of 4 inch gold sling backs. "Oh my feet are going to hate my in a couple of hours!" she said putting on her shoes.

"Don't you know that charm by now?" Fess asked as she slipped into her dress, charming the spaghetti straps, the only material that existed on her back, to stay in place.

"There's a charm for that?" Lily asked.

"Of course!" Fess said before performing the charm on her and Lily's feet. Fess slipped on her black 4 inch sling backs and they both stood up in front of the mirror.

"Black and gold. Eat your hearts out boys" Lily whispered.

They walked to the door, only opening it slightly to see if the marauders were in the common room. They were gone. Fess signaled to Lily that the coast was clear. Giggling, they both ran down the steps and out the portrait hole.

**A/N::::: Hope you guys enjoyed the 'teaser' lol. Part two up tomorrow, hopefully! ****J Please R/R guys! It really means a LOT! Let me know what ya really think, opinions, criticism, critiques, etc, are all greatly appreciated! Thanks to the people who have reviewed, also! **


	14. Halloween Ball: PART TWO

**A/N:::: Part Two is here! Hope you enjoy *wink***

Carnival Day Four: October 31st, Halloween Ball:::::: **PART TWO!**

James walked in to the Great Hall, taken aback by the décor the professors had done. The whole place was filled with streamers, balloons, glitter, and people. The music was already blaring, people were filling up the dance floor as well as the tables near the back of the room. Remus's strobe lights were working wonderfully as a rock song was playing. The candles displayed different colors with each beat, making the room light up. He scanned the room for Lily and Fess, they hadn't seen them before they left the dorm, and didn't know if they had left without them or just weren't ready yet.

"Oi, mate, I'm going to get us a table. You want to get drinks?" Sirius said.

"Yeah, get one by the courtyard" James told him.

"Right, fresh air?" Sirius said laughing.

"Yeah! I like fresh air!" James said defensively. Sirius and Peter walked away to find a table, leaving Remus and James to get drinks. They walked up to the bar, finding Professor McGonagall there as well.

"Hello, Minnie! You look beautiful tonight" James said before kissing her hand.

"Yes, Minnie, absolutely ravishing" Remus said, smiling, also kissing her hand. McGonagall blushed slightly, "Oh dears, thank you! And you all look very handsome indeed! Are you both here alone tonight?" she asked.

"Yes' mam" Remus responded.

"Oh, Mr. Potter, I thought you would have come with Ms. Evans. Is she bringing someone else?" she asked.

"No. We all just decided to come together" he told her.

"Oh! Well where is she? I'm sure she is gorgeous tonight!" she said.

"I wish I knew. She and Fess were still getting ready when we left the dorm" James told her, pouring a glass of punch.

"I see. When she gets here, please tell her to come see me!" she said.

"Will do Professor" James said as McGonagall walked away from the bar.

"How long you think it's going to take them to get ready?" Remus asked as they strode away from the bar, drinks in hand.

"No idea. If I know Fess, she wants to make a dramatic entrance though. Hopefully soon" James said nervously.

"Bout time you two got over here! I'm parched!" Sirius said as they finally made it to the table.

"Mate, you haven't even started dancing yet" Peter told him.

"Wormtail, never question a man's thirst" Sirius said simply, downing the glass of punch. 'Dream On' by Aerosmith had just come on over the speakers, Sirius started singing, "Yeah, I know nobody knows where it comes and where it goes. I know it's everybody's sin. You got to lose to know how to win" he belted out. Remus laughed at him, "No, mate you aren't singing it right!" he told him.

"Ok, you sing it then" Sirius challenged.

"You know it's true, all the things come back to you. Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears. Sing with me, if it's just for today. Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away" Remus sang.

They continued, James pretending to play the guitar on the breaks, Remus singing, Sirius playing guitar, very badly, and Peter laughing at them.

"Dream on, Dream until your dreams come through! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dre-" Remus stopped, his falsetto vocals were being echoed by someone behind him. "Dream ooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" Fess and Lily sang together, surprising the Marauders who had frozen in the middle of their charades. The girls laughed, then giving them curious looks.

"Did something just happen behind us?" Lily whispered to her.

"I think it did, let's look" Fess whispered back, they both turned to see if anyone was behind them. Seeing no one, they turned back around to face the marauders again, who were still somewhat frozen. Only Peter seemed to be regaining his composure.

"Did someone die? Psst…Peter, are we missing something?" Lily whispered loudly.

"What? Do we have something in our teeth?" Fess asked him.

"No, I think it's quite the opposite" Peter explained.

"Oh, right" Fess walked up to Sirius who had stopped mimicking playing a guitar and stood straight. "Hello handsome" she said before kissing him. It brought Sirius back to life.

"You look…I mean…your hair…is that why you had it covered earlier?" he asked, hands sitting on her waist.

"Oh, glad you noticed. And yes. It was. Now, come on, let's go dance!" she said before dragging him out to the floor. He glanced at James, winking at him before following Fess on to the dance floor. Remus looked at Lily, "Lily, you look beautiful" he told her.

"Why thank you, Remus, you don't look so bad yourself. I guess even the wildest animals can be tamed, huh?" she said smirking.

"Yes, my dear, I think they can. Now, if you'll excuse myself and Peter, we are going to go scope out these lovely ladies sitting by themselves. Come on, Wormtail" he said gesturing for Peter to follow him. They left the table, leaving James still stunned.

Lily blushed, looking down at her feet, "You look very handsome tonight, James" she told him, looking up into his frozen hazel eyes. He wanted to reach out and kiss her right then, because he knew words couldn't express how beautiful she was in that moment.

"Lily, you're…you look…" the music had just gotten louder, she was struggling to hear him.

"I can't hear you!" she said smiling. He grabbed her hand taking her out the glass door that was right beside their table.

"I said you're breath-taking. To be honest, I don't know a word that captures how beautiful you are tonight" he said quietly.

She looked down, "Thank you" she told him, smiling. He reached up, twirling a finger in one of her curls, "Did Fess do this?" he asked.

"Yes" she said.

"Remind me to thank her" he said, smiling.

"Well, you want to thank her, come on, let's go dance!" she said turning to pull away from his grasp.

"What now? This is a terrible song!" he said pulling her back to him.

"Oh come on, James!" she begged.

"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist" he said. She looked around nervously, a smirk playing on her face, her nostrils flaring with her feeble attempts at trying not to smile. James leaned away from her, knowing that look, "You don't have on knickers, do you?" he asked her curiously.

She scrunched her eyebrows, trying to make a angry face, and failing terribly, "I might….not" she said, rubbing her neck and mumbling the last word. His eyes widened, "Sorry, didn't catch that"

"I said I might not!" she told him, now holding her arm in front of her mouth, trying to hide her snickering.

"Lily Evans. First no bra earlier, now no knickers" he then looked at her dress again, "wait, you don't have on either do you?" he asked.

"Now, James, that's none of your business" she said trying to hold her smile in again.

"I'm pretty sure I can take a good guess at that one" he told her. She laughed, "Ok, ok, you caught me" she said.

He walked slowly back to her, having walked away from her in disbelief. Approaching her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, "Lily, Lily, Lily, what am I going to do with you?" he joked.

'Well I can think of a few things' Lily thought to herself, almost saying it outloud.

"I have no idea, Mr. Potter. Dance with me?" she responded.

"You aren't still sick are you?" he asked suddenly.

"You're rather close to me right now to be worried about getting sick. I'm pretty sure if you're going to get sick, you'd already be sick" she explained.

"You're probably right" he said.

"I know I'm right. Now, dancing? My last time asking you, Mr. Potter!" she said tugging on his tie.

"What's with the 'Mr. Potter'?" he asked.

She smiled, thinking of her favorite book, "I'll explain one day. Not today though" she said smiling up at him. She inched her face closer to his, holding on to his tie still, pulling him down to her. An inch from his face, she whispered, "Let's dance" turning quickly away from him and running back inside to the dance floor, joining the rest of them. Michael Jackson's 'Don't Stop til you Get Enough' song was on, Sirius was showcasing his disco moves in the middle of a people circle on the floor. Lily stood between Fess and Remus, swaying and nodding with the music as she waited for James to join them.

"Where did you leave James?" Fess asked her over the music.

"In the courtyard, he should be-there's Mr. Potter!" she said as he came up behind them.

"Mr. Potter?" Fess leaned a little closer to Lily, whispering, "Are you completely, and perfectly and incandescently happy, Ms. Evans?" she asked her with a wink.

Lily smiled, "I think I will be"

Fess was so overcome with emotion that she hugged her best friend. "I'm so glad we're over the other one! Oh gods! I think I might cry of happiness!" she told her.

Lily laughed, "Let's not jump ahead of ourselves, I didn't say I was, I said I think I will be" she corrected her.

"I don't care! It's progress!" Fess said letting her go, tears in her eyes., "I need to dance, Sirius! Move it!" she said heading into the middle of the circle.

"What was that all about?" James whispered to her.

Lily smiled, "Nothing and everything all at once" she told him. He turned her around, grabbing her hand and twirling her on the floor. James let her hand go, doing a spin of his own, "Oh!" he said with the music.

"James! I didn't know you were a Michael fan!" she said laughing.

"I honestly can't say that I am, I just know that one part!" he told her, grabbing her hands again spinning her around him. They danced a couple more songs before heading to the bar to get a drink.

"No, I'll get your drink, you go sit!" James told her. She rolled her eyes, smiling, then went to sit at their table.

"Peter! Why aren't you dancing! I thought you were the master?" Lily said upon reaching the table.

"Well, someone has to save the table" he said quietly.

She looked at his sad face, "Ok, we'll trade off, I'll watch the table, you go dance! I want to see these moves everyone keeps talking about!" she told him. He hopped out of his chair quickly, running to the dance floor. James came over with their drink, handing her hers.

"You guys are mean, leaving Peter at the table by himself!" she told him.

"He volunteered!" James said defensively.

"Right, right. So what are we doing when we get back to the dorm?" she asked, sipping her pumpkin juice.

"Well, I know what Fess and Sirius will be doing, what do you want to do?" he said with a smirk.

"No, I mean, at our little after-party" she said.

"Oh, right! The whole bottle of fire whiskey. I can't wait" he said staring off in to the distance.

"Oh gods, I hate to know what's going through that brain of yours right now" she said laughing.

"Yeah, you probably would" he said. She snorted, choking on her juice. James laughed, "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, just had pumpkin juice go flying out my nose, I'm great!" she said bent over.

"Who has pumpkin juice in their nose? That's disgusting, Lily!" Sirius said as he came up in the middle of their conversation.

"Oh shut it Sirius! Before I take away your bottle of fire whiskey!" she said, daring him.

"Is that how we're playing things now? Don't make me start on you, Lily, I know your secrets" he said smirking at her. She glared playfully at him. A slow song came on the speakers, James turned to Lily, "Dance with me?" he asked, flashing his million dollar smile.

"Wipe that silly grin off of your face and then we'll talk" she said, shooting him down. He laughed, "Ok, Miss Lily, would you care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand and bowing slightly. "I would" she said, taking his hand. He led her on to the dance floor, taking her waist in his hands. She reached up, locking her hands around his neck, breathing in the smell of his cologne.

"Lily, I do believe you have two left feet" he observed.

She smirked, "You caught me. Haven't a lick of rhythm in me. Unless you count nodding to music or being led around the dance floor" she said.

He laughed, "It's ok, I'll lead you. However, I think I just won our dance contest by default" he said.

"Cheater!" she exclaimed. They laughed, not watching where they were going, bumping into the couple behind them.

"Oh sorry!" Lily said turning around, then realized who it was. "Oh, it's you. No, I'm not sorry" she spat at Severus, who was dancing with another Slytherin girl. Lily turned back to James, who wrapped his arms around her even tighter than before.

"Ugh, he ruins everything" she said furiously.

"I don't know what you ever saw in him" James said.

"He was the first actual wizard I knew, and over the summers he was my only connection to this world, so naturally, we were best friends" she told him.

"I think he thought you were a little more than just best friends" he said, an eyebrow raised.

"And I think that I thought at one time we would be, but then I learned who he really was and it all changed…I think I have you to thank for that, actually" she said looking up at him.

"Me?" James asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, that day in fifth year. After our OWL exams. If you hadn't been picking on him, I would have never tried to help him, he wouldn't have called me a…well…you know…and then it would have just taken me longer to figure it out" she realized. James felt himself tense as she explained. She reached her hand around to the side of his face, rubbing it, hoping it would ease some of the tension he had built up just then. She felt his muscles loosen slightly, relaxing a bit. After the song, they left the dance floor, sitting down at the table with the others. Sirius and Fess were whispering in each other's ears, Remus leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, Peter singing silently with the music. As they sat, they saw Professor Slughorn approaching their table.

"Lily! Good to see you my dear, you look beautiful!" he said awkwardly as he stood at the table. Looking around at all of them, he drug up some courage from somewhere, addressing James next. "James, my boy, I wanted to apologize about yesterday. I take it Professor McGonagall has taken care of Malfoy's punishment for what he did to you. I'm sorry it took Lily here to get me to own up to my stupidity. I guess next time, I'll know better" he told him.

"Well, honestly sir, I hope there isn't a next time" James said to him.

"And me as well. Umm…well…enjoy the Ball!" Slughorn said before leaving the table.

"Wow, I can't believe he just did that" Lily said.

"Me either" James and Remus said together.

"Excuse me boys, I'll be back" Lily said before heading to the loo. She walked quickly down the hall to the girls' lavatory. Looking in the mirror, she tried sprucing up her hair a bit, applying a new layer of gloss to her lips. After using the bathroom, she headed back up the hallway to the Great Hall, passing Sirius and Fess along the way. Fess winked at her as she passed, Lily rolled her eyes, smiling. Lily walked back into the Great Hall, heading for her table, but never making it passed the bar. As she walked by the set of tables near the entrance, someone bumped into her, hard. Leaning on the table to catch her balance, she turned, seeing who it was.

"Didn't I already bump into you one damn time tonight? Isn't one time enough for you to touch a mud blood?" she spat at Severus.

"Don't say that Lily" he said walking up to her.

"What, had a change of heart since our last encounter? Or do you not remember knocking me down the stairs and leaving me?" she asked.

"Please, Lily" he said.

"No" she said trying to walk away.

"Lily, listen to me!" he said grabbing her wrist.

"Severus, no. I'm not listening to anything you have to say" she told him.

"He's wrong for you. He's wrong for you and you know it" he said turning her around to face him, his face inches from hers.

"No, I don't know that. He looks like a damn good option from here. And I'm pretty sure the correct one" she said furiously.

"No, no he's not! You have to see that!" he said letting her go.

"Why would I choose someone who doesn't appreciate me, someone who calls me a mud blood in front of his friends because he's ashamed of me, ashamed to be seen with me, when I can have him? He isn't ashamed of me! He would never call me that!" she whispered angrily to him.

"And are those the only reasons you are choosing him?" Severus asked, looking at the floor.

"No, they aren't. There are a million more. I don't have to explain myself to you! And he would never hurt me, something that you have done countless times before" she said before turning to walk to her table. Her eyes had tears in them. She breathed deeply, holding her head high, trying to keep composed. She blinked back her tears as she approached the table. James stood quickly, seeing her face. His eyes widened in bewilderment. Her jaw trembled as she blinked back her tears.

"Lily…." he started to say. She grabbed his hand, taking him out into the courtyard where she broke down. He was barely able to catch her as she fell in to his arms, crying. He held her in his arms, stroking her hair. Severus walked out of one of the glass doors, looking for her. Taking one glance at James holding her, he glared at him, then slowly walked back inside.

"I'll kill him. What did he do?" James said furiously.

"He's just a complete ass! Why can't he leave me alone! Why can't he see that I'm not going to choose him, that I have you and he should just let me be! Why does he keep doing this?" Lily said into James's chest, punching her fist into his chest each time she said 'why'. Her statement replayed in his mind, but he decided not to question it now.

"Ow, Lily, you're abusing me again" he said weakly, trying to make her laugh.

She snorted, "Sorry." She looked up at him, mascara and liner running down her face, "Oh gods, I'm a mess!" she exclaimed before burying her head in his chest once again. He lifted her chin, wiping away the tears from beneath her eyes along with the excess makeup that was running down her face.

"There, now you just look like a beautiful raccoon" he said smiling.

She laughed softly, "Great. Just what I need to look like. A coon!" she said. They heard Professor Dumbledore giving his 'goodnight, last dance' speech inside.

"Is it 11 already?" Lily asked. James leaned up, looking at the clock tower, "Yeah, I guess it is. Now the real fun begins" he said smiling.

She snorted, "Right, right, if only we knew when Sirius and Fess were going to be back" she said.

"Who said we needed them?" he asked.

She thought a minute, "No one!" she said happily, following him inside to the table where Fess and Sirius happened to be sitting.

"Jeezers, that was a quickie, wasn't it?" Lily said upon seeing them.

"Lily, are you ok?" Fess asked.

"Yeah, nervous breakdown, I'm ok now though" she said smiling.

"Last dance of the night guys, want to go out there one more time?" Remus asked them.

"Sure"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Of course!"

"Yes!"

"Love to!" they all said variously, getting up from their chairs and heading out to the dance floor. It was a rock song, they all immediately started jumping around. Lily spotted Lovegood a few couples over from them, "Fess! There's Lovegood! I told you he danced like that!" Lily said watching Lovegood flail his arms in the air absentmindedly. Fess laughed, "Wow, Lils, you hit that one on the spot!" she said.

"Who're you two picking on?" James asked.

"Lovegood! He's better than me!" Lily told him as James took her hands.

"Lily, everyone is better than you!" he said jumping up and down with her, pushing and pulling her arms.

"I don't think this counts as dancing! So I'm good at this!" she said as they jumped. He stopped jumping, pulled her close, and dipped her backwards, "Would you rather our dancing be more like this?" he asked deeply.

She laughed at him, "James I don't care what you do, as long as we're dancing" she said. He smiled picking her back up from the dip and spinning her around him. He dipped her once again, faster this time, and as the song ended picked her up, his arms wrapped around her legs just below her butt.

"Oh look, I'm as tall as you now!" she said looking down at him, her hair cascading down around his face. He laughed, slowly lowering her down. When her feet were on the ground, he hugged her tightly, not wanting the night to end. It was the happiest he'd ever felt. Looking around the Great Hall, he saw Professor Dumbledore looking at him, when he saw James looking, he gave him a wink before dismissing the students.

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight! I think everyone had a grand time, don't you agree Professor McGonagall? Yes, yes, now, I'm sorry to do this but, it is after hours and I'm going to have to ask all of you to please head back to your dormitories! Thank you, thank you! Good night students!" he told them all, waving them away. As the students started clearing out of the Great Hall, the marauders, Fess, and Lily went up to the bar to see if there was any more food or drink left. They were starving.

"Oh! Chicken wings!" Sirius said spotting the plate of wings. He grabbed some, putting them in his robe pocket.

"Sirius that's disgusting, they're going to have lint on them!" Lily told him

"Ok fine, put them in your bra then. Oh wait, you don't have one on do you? Co-freak-ugh" he said sarcastically.

"Shut it" she muttered. They laughed at her. After gathering, or stealing, some of the food from the bar, they all ran up to the Heads' Dorms, sprawling out on the floor and couches when they arrived. Sirius ran up to James's room, grabbing the bottle of firewiskey, and running back down the stairs. "Ok, who gets first shot?" he asked mischievously.

"I get first shot because my feet hurt. Fess, your charm did not work" Lily said to her, laying on the floor, her back against the couch.

"Really? It always worked for me. Maybe you have to do your own charm or something…" Fess said thoughtfully.

Sirius poured shots for everyone, handing them out, then proposing at toast, "What should we toast to?" he asked.

"You poured the drinks, you make the toast" James told him.

Sirius thought for a minute, "Ok, to the end of an era, and the beginning of the rest of our lives" he said holding up his shot glass.

"Whoa, deep thought there Padfoot" Remus said.

"Thank you. Cheers" Sirius said as they clanked their shots together, then downed them. They all shivered as it hit the back of their throats, warming them instantly. Sirius instantly filled their shots up, they took another.

"Whew, ok, who's up for a game?" James said, clasping his hands together.

"Oh, let me guess…truth or dare?" Lily joked.

"Hey that's a great idea!" Sirius exclaimed.

"No, I don't think it is" Lily told him.

"Yes it is, everyone but you wants to play, well, except Peter, he's already asleep" Sirius said nodding over to the desk.

"Yeah, Lils, you're outnumbered" Remus told her. Lily sighed, "Ok, fine" she agreed.

"Ok since you were the last to agree on the game, Lily, you are first. Truth or dare?" Sirius asked. Lily was mortified. She searched Sirius's face for a sign of which to pick, but as she didn't feel like divulging her deepest and darkest secrets yet, "Dare" she said smirking.

"Good. I was hoping you'd say that. I dare you to go lick the side of Peter's face….slowly" he said, a smile playing on his lips.

Lily put on her best disgusted face, pursed her lips, then got up, marched to the desk where Peter was now snoring as he leaned back in the chair. She leaned over closely to his face, stuck her tongue out, and licked his face. Peter didn't wake. He merely snored louder. Happy with herself, Lily pranced back to her seat on the floor, smiling

"That's disgusting. You licked a rat" James said. "Oh shut up. My turn. Hmm….Remus, truth or dare?" she asked.

"I'll take truth" he said.

"Is it true…that…you fancy Sirius's beloved cousin, Nymphadora?" Lily asked him smiling.

"Lily! I am entirely too old for that girl! And she hates that name, Nymphadora, makes me call her Tonks" he explained, blushing.

"True or False?" Lily pressured.

"Slightly true, I think she's pretty, but I'm too old for her" he said disappointingly. After the blushing on his face went away, he looked around the room, "James…truth or dare?" he asked.

"Well Moony, since you know just about every secret I have, I'm going to go with dare" James said.

"Yes, and since when have you ever passed up a dare?" Remus asked.

"There's always a first" James said.

"Right. Here's your chance: I dare you to go to every class on Monday with nothing under your robes" Remus said.

"Ok" James immediately agreed.

"Wait you're going to walk around the school all day with nothing but your robes on in November? I hope you aren't trying to show off anything….co-shrinkage-ough" Lily said pretending to cough.

"co-freak-ugh" Sirius said. Lily smirked at him.

"I never pass up a dare, Miss Lily" James told her with a wink, "Ok Fess, truth or dare?" he asked her.

"Truth" she said.

"Is it true that you made out with Lovegood in 4th year?" James said smirking, already knowing the answer to the question. She widened her eyes, throwing a pillow at him. "James Potter!" she exclaimed.

"Well did you or didn't you?" he asked.

"I did. I was 14! He was intriguing!" she said as they all laughed at her.

"Was the air full of nargles?" Remus asked dreamily.

"Actually he did say that the mistletoe was…anyway, fine James you want to play that way, truth or dare" she said.

"Well, since I have one dare already, I'll go with truth" he said.

"Is it true that Bellatrix made out with you before she cursed you?" she asked.

"Yes. Damn tease! The whole Black family are nothing but teases!" James said throwing his hands in the air as he laughed. Sirius grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey, pouring them all another round of shots.

"Damn, that stuff gets you after a couple. Ok, Sirius, you haven't answered anything yet, truth or dare" James said.

"I'll take dare" Sirius said lazily.

"I dare you to go streaking through the Great Hall at breakfast tomorrow morning" he said simply.

"Done" Sirius agreed, pouring shots, "Alright, umm…Fess, darling, which shall you choose" he asked her, the fire whiskey really hitting him.

"Truth" she said.

"Is it true that you would like to take me upstairs, right now, and have our own after after-party?" he asked taking another shot. She downed hers, looking at him, "Whenever you say so, darling" she said before kissing him.

"Oh gods, get an empty classroom" Lily said laughing. Sirius and Fess both jumped up, giggling, then ran up the stairs. Lily and James exchanged glances, "Hey! NOT MY ROOM!" Lily yelled after them. It was too late, they had run to the closest open door.

"Damn freaks" Lily said laughing.

"Takes one to know one Lily!" Sirius shouted back at her. Remus stood. "Not leaving already are you, Moony?" James asked him.

"Yeah, I think I am, I'm dead tired. Plus, I want to see if Sirius actually comes through with his dare in the morning" Remus said yawning.

"I'm kind of sleepy too. I don't guess there's much chance of me going to sleep tonight though. All that damn noise those two will be making" Lily said, catching on ot Remus's yawn. James nodded at Peter, "You want to take him with you, Moony? He'll wake up in the middle of the night and start freaking out because he doesn't know where he is" James said.

"Yeah, you're right. Him and his damn nightmares. Oi! Wormtail! Wake up!" Remus yelled at him. After finally waking up, Remus and Peter left the room, leaving James and Lily listening to the crackling of the fireplace and the beating on the walls upstairs. They couldn't help but laugh.

"They are ridiculous" Lily said shaking her head as she laughed.

"Well, what'd you expect? I've never seen Sirius so happy. And they aren't even officially dating" James said.

"Oh titles…who needs them?" Lily said smirking, "So would you like to continue the game or play another game? I think Sirius left some fire whiskey…aha!" she said picking up the bottle

"Sure, why not? But let's play…the question game" he said as she handed him a shot, now turned around facing him, her back to the fire.

"The question game?" she asked.

"Yeah, you answer every question with a question and for every time that you don't, you take a shot" he said.

"Oh, ok! Cheers!" she said before taking her shot, "You first" she said.

"Why do you wear men's boxer brief to sleep?" he asked.

"Why can't they be women's underwear, imitating men's boxer briefs?" she said.

"But why do they make those?" he asked.

"Because girls like to walk around in their underwear without their ass hanging out all the time! Dammit, that wasn't a question!" she said, defeated. Laughing, she took a shot.

"Gods, I'm going to be drunk by the time this is over. My turn? Ok. Do you think my bed will be safe to even sit on after tonight?" she asked.

"Is Sirius's last name something other than Black?" he asked.

She thought a minute, "Is that a no?" she said.

"Yes, that's a no. Dammit!" James said in frustration, taking a shot.

"Haha! Now were 1-1! Your turn" Lily said picking on him.

"Ok. What is the story behind your calling me Mr. Potter?" he asked.

"Do you really think I can answer that in a question?" she said.

"Can you try?" he asked.

"Have you ever read Pride and Prejudice?" she asked.

"The book you keep with you all the time? Is my last name Wallanbee?" he asked.

"If you haven't read it, how do you expect me to answer in questions?" she asked.

"Ok. Time out. Tell me the story" he said.

"You take a shot first, you broke the question line!" she said laughing. He took a shot, anxiously awaiting the story.

"Well, it's the story of a man who falls in love with a girl below his standards, or so he thinks, and of a girl who's pride gets in the way of her true feelings towards this man. She doesn't want to admit that she's fallen in love with him because of her pride. And, well, I can't believe you've never heard of Mr. Darcy! He's only one of the most perfectly written characters in English literature! To change her affections he does so many things for her, declares his love unashamedly, waits on her, he's just…well, there's just something about him" she explained, blushing, fumbling with the hem of her dress.

"What does this have to do with my question?" he asked.

"Gods, you're thick, James…They made a movie of the book, and the last scene of the movie is Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy just after they've been married. Talking about pet names and such. She tells him to call her 'my pearl' for Sundays, 'goddess divine' only on very, very special occasions. He suggests Mrs. Darcy for when he's cross, and she denies, saying he can only call her that when he is completely, and perfectly and incandescently happy" she said sighing. James thought a minute, taking everything she'd just said in. He moved closer to her, finally arriving directly in front of her. He moved some of the bottom of her dress so that he wouldn't snag it. Reaching up, he slowly drifted a finger down up her arm, then moving her hair from directly in front of her face, leaving on of his hands in her lap, playing with the bottom of the top layer of her dress. Leaning closer to her, he spoke softly, "So tell me, Miss Lily, are you completely-" he kissed her left jaw, "and perfectly-," he looked in her eyes before kissing the other side of her neck, "and incandescently" again looking at her, kissing her right jaw, "happy tonight?" he asked kissing her neck again. Lily arched her head back, closing her eyes, she couldn't speak. James smiled against her neck as he played with the hem of her dress. Looking back into her eyes, he said, "You should be going to bed," with a snicker.

Lily snapped out of her daydream quickly, "What? No. No, not tonight" she said, grabbing his face. James was caught off guard, he had expected her to react, but not practically jump on him. He felt her hand entangle in his hair as she reached up to kiss him. She could taste the whiskey on his breath, his sweet breath. She had been longing for this moment since last night, and couldn't contain it any longer. She was in love with James Potter.

She slowed her kiss down, but keeping a hold on his hair, she didn't want to let him go. Taking a breath, they rested their foreheads against each other. Lily closed her eyes, waiting for him to say something. James wondered what she was waiting on, he knew he was just waiting to see if anything from this night was real. He felt her kiss him again, this time more patient. Lily kissed his jaw, making an outline of his strong jaw structure, she could feel it clench and unclench as she moved. Upon reaching his neck, she felt his vein pulse as she licked it before starting on his first -Lily-mark-. She moved her hands to the tie around his neck, he had undone it, but not taken it off. She stopped kissing him to focus on his robes, unbuttoning his shirt, then reaching for his belt buckle. James stopped her. She looked questionably at him, then gave him a look of helplessness, as he'd denied her what she wanted at that moment. "Not tonight," he whispered before kissing her. James's hands found all three layers of her dress. Pushing it up, they grazed her calves as he kissed her. He had Lily against the wall beside the fireplace now. The heat of the fire made them sweat more as James moved to her neck, sucking feverishly. His right hand traveled the outside of her leg, up to her thigh. It was then that James remembered Lily hadn't worn any knickers that evening. Lily bent both of her legs, arching her back as she breathed deeply. His fingers played with her wet folds, toying with her.

"Mmm" she whimpered, steadying herself with her hands. He smirked against her neck, going back up to her, kissing her again. Taking his thumb, he traced the division of her folds, parting them slightly. Her wet lips surrounded his thumb, begging him. Taking his middle finger, he plunged into her. She moaned against his lips. He moved again to her neck as she arched her neck back, giving him better access. His finger moved in, her walls tightening against him. As he started his in and out motion, he felt her hips move with him. She rocked with him, moving against his finger, trying to keep her breathing steady. He moved another finger in, she moaned louder with surprise. He quickened his pace. Lily reached up, her hand grabbing the mantle that was above her for support. James stopped kissing her neck, watching her as he moved his fingers in and out of her. Her back arched, every muscle in her body tensing. "Oh gods, James" she said longingly, grabbing his hair with her other hand, pulling him to her and kissing him as she began to reach her climax. He quickened his pace even more, her hips rocking even faster. Her body was starting to shake, her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she arched more against him.

She moaned against his lips. He felt his fingers be surrounded by her before finally releasing. She took in a sharp breath, holding it and letting it go shakily as she released. He felt her entire body shudder around his fingers, her juices flowing. They parted lips as she climaxed, him watching her face fill with unmistakable pleasure. Removing his fingers, he brought them up to his lips, licking them. Juice still on his lips he kissed her again, letting her taste herself.

Parting from the kiss, James leaned back slightly, admiring her face. Sweat beading up on her forehead, her smudged mascara now gleaming with sweat on her lashes, her eyeliner had created those double circles under her eyes. Her once perfectly placed hair, now was slightly frizzy, the roots dabbled with sweat from the heat of the fire. Her dress and unintentionally slipped a bit. He smiled slightly, reaching a hand up and moving some of the hair from her face, and also putting her dress back in place. Lily blushed, giving him a small smile, "I think it might be time to go to bed now" she said quietly, looking up at him.

He smiled, "I think you might be right, Miss Lily" he said, kissing her forehead. He stood, then held out a hand to help her up. Her knees had never felt so weak before.

"Oh damn!" she said suddenly.

"What?" he asked.

"I have no bed! They're still up there!" she said pointing to her room.

James chuckled, "You can sleep in my room, if you'd like" he offered.

"No, it's ok, James, I can sleep on the couch. I like the couch" she said with a wink.

"No, you're going to sleep in a bed. Come on, I won't bite…much" he said smiling.

"I'll be fine down here" she said.

"Lily Evans. You are going to sleep in that bed if I have to carry you up there" he said, trying to keep a straight face. Lily busted out laughing at him.

"Make me" she said simply. He thought about it a minute, then just picked her up over his shoulder, carrying her up the stairs and to his room, her laughing the whole way. He forgot that her dress slipped with any movement and was reminded of it when he sat her on the bed.

"Oh gods, Lily, I'm sorry, I forgot" he said turning quickly as he got a full on flash of her boobs. She chuckled at him, "So you're embarrassed about seeing my boobs after what we just did…yeah, that makes perfect sense" she said, fixing her dress and standing up, walking to him.

"I didn't know how you would feel if I just stood there and-" James said turning back around to face her.

"Stared at my boobs like every other 18 year old boy on the planet?" she finished for him. He smirked, kissing her forehead, then hugging her. James pulled back, staring into her green eyes. "I don't want to go to sleep" he told her quietly.

She looked at him, confused, "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I'm afraid I might wake up tomorrow and realize it was all a dream" he said. She smiled slightly, standing on her toes and kissing him softly, "Mr. Potter, you know that dreams can't be nearly this good" she told him.

He smiled, "Yeah, I guess you're right" he said. She walked away from him as he changed clothes, looking at the pictures he had on his desk. Most of them with the marauders, a couple of him and his parents, and then one of him and her when they were forced to work together in Potions 2nd year.

"Who took this picture of us?" she asked, laughing at it, they were throwing ingredients at each other in the picture. He came around the corner in only a pair of grey baggy sweats. She stared at him as he walked up laughing at the picture, "Oh Sirius took it when you weren't paying attention. I think it was supposed to be part of a prank, but I kept it. It's the only photo we have together" he added nostalgically.

"hmm.. I wonder why?" she said sarcastically. He laughed, "We didn't even take one tonight. None of us did" he said solemly. She thought for a minute, "We can take one now" she told him.

"You want to?" he asked, a glimmer of excitement in his hazel eyes.

"Yeah, oh and do you have anything I can put on, I don't really feel like wearing this to sleep in" she asked.

"Nope, it's the dress or nothing" he said quickly. She playfully glared at him. "Ok, I'll find you something, Although I can promise it will be way too large for you" he said searching his closet. He finally found her a pair of navy blue sweats and one of his white wife beater tanks. She came out of the bathroom wearing the ensemble, pursing her lips and smirking at him.

"What?" he asked, already laying on top of the covers of his bed, putting film in his camera.

"So you didn't want to stare at my boobs when they were right in front of you but if they're covered by an extremely small piece of fabric, theyre ok" she said smiling.

"Well, I hadn't thought about it when I gave you the tank, but yes" he said as she flopped on the bed, stomach down.

"Ok, camera's ready" he said.

"Well, I'm not turning over, I don't need pics of my boobs posted everywhere" she said snuggling close to his bare chest. Looking up at the camera, they posed for several serious pictures, and a couple of goofy ones as well. James leaned over to put the camera away in his dresser. When he laid back flat again, he felt Lily scoot her body even closer, almost asleep already.

"Goodnight, Lily" he whispered, rubbing her hair.

"Night, Mr. Potter" she mumbled. James smiled to himself. It wasn't often that he made someone completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.

**A/N::::::: Please review! THANK YOU! I really hope you guys like it! Next chapter soon! Oh and I know that Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley was made in 2005, but I love that last scene of the movie, and it's not in the book so I couldn't just reference the book…the English lit lover in me would not have been satisfied! Lol Reviews are greatly cherished and appreciated!**


	15. Tell Me, Would You Kill

James woke up the next morning, feeling a body next to him. Looking down he saw a cascade of red, curly hair against his chest. She looked so peaceful as she slept. He leaned his head back against the pillow, not believing how unbelievably lucky he was in this moment. He stared at the ceiling, replaying the nights' events. Lost in his daydream, he didn't feel Lily stir. She opened her eyes, feeling James's bare chest beneath her cheek, the memories of the night before came flooding back to her quickly. Smiling to herself, she picked her head up from his chest, laying her chin back on one of his pecks, looking up at his face. She had expected him to still be asleep, but he was instead staring up at the ceiling, apparently in deep thought. She smirked, "Good morning" she said softly. James jumped slightly, not expecting her voice, then smiled at her.

"Morning beautiful" he told her.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"I think around ten. Want to go down and get some breakfast?" he asked, sitting up.

"Sure" she said as she also sat up, then got out of bed, stretching. She turned back around to James, who was sitting up, watching and smiling at her.

"What?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Nothing. Just wondering if anyone has caught on to where you are" he said chuckling.

"If any of them are even up" she responded.

"Are you going to tell them?" he asked.

She looked down at the floor, ashamed of what she was about to tell him, "I don't think I'm ready. I mean, we only just got to the point of going a day without fighting. I'm sorry, James, I just…I don't think I can do this" she told him, afraid to look up at his face.

James sighed, he almost knew this was coming, "I know" he said lightly.

"What?" she asked.

"I know that you're not ready, and I respect that…I wish you were, but I can't push you to do anything you don't want to" he said.

"It's not that I don't want to, James, it's just…I don't know if I'm ready to be James Potter's girlfriend" she told him.

He stood, walking to where she was. Taking both of her hands in his, he leaned his forehead against hers, "Lily, it's ok. I know" he whispered.

She took a deep breath, looking up at his hazel eyes, "Thank you" she said quietly. He kissed her forehead, hugging her, "I love you, Lily, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you" he told her. Her heart skipped a beat, hearing those words from him. She pulled him closer in their hug, letting his arms shield her from all of her own fears.

"I better go shower" she said, pulling away from him, walking towards the door.

"Right. See you at breakfast, Lily" he said as she opened his door, then closed it behind her. James flung himself on his bed, kicking himself for knowing that that was going to be her reaction when she woke up.

After showering, she chose a pair of black shorts and a tight fitting purple sweater that hung off of her shoulders to wear since they had the day off from classes. Walking quickly, she left the dorm and headed to breakfast. All eyes were on her as she entered the Great Hall. Sitting down with Fess, she looked at her quizzically, "Do I have something written on my forehead or something? Why's everyone staring at me?" she asked her.

"Probably because they all assume that you and James hooked up last night" Fess told her, chewing her waffles.

Lily frowned, "Why would they think that?" she asked.

"Because we all left together, you know how this school works. Everyone assumes things. I, however, do not just assume. But I do want to hear details" Fess said smiling.

"What details?" Lily asked innocently.

"Oh please, Lils, Sirius and I sort of took your bedroom last night so I know you had to sleep in his room. So what happened?" she said eagerly.

"Nothing! I promise!" Lily said laughing.

"You're lying! You little whore!" Fess said, also laughing.

"Oh gods, Fess! Nothing happened! Besides, no one could possibly try and outdo you and Sirius making all that damn noise!" Lily told her.

"Oh, sorry, I'll buy you a new bed" Fess apologized.

Lily laughed, "Good, because there is no way I'm sleeping on that thing now that you two have soiled it!" she told her. They heard people screaming towards the entrance. Standing up, they saw what all the commotion was about. Sirius was running down the middle of the Great Hall naked, fulfilling his dare from the night before. The girls died laughing as he ran by them, shouting a quick "Hello!" and continuing to run.

"Well, I see he actually remembered that!" Lily said laughing. They sat down at the table again to finish their breakfast. Remus came walking up with Peter a moment later, "Did you all get to witness Sirius's great run?" he asked sarcastically, sitting on the other side of Lily. "Of course, I think we all got an eye full" Lily said laughing.

"I can't believe he remembered to do it" Remus said helping himself to the bacon in front of him. "I can't believe how much I missed last night!" Peter told them.

"And what I can't believe, is how you slept through Lily licking your face" Sirius said as he walked up, joining in on their conversation. He pecked Fess on the cheek as he sat beside her.

"What? Lily licked my face?" Peter exclaimed. They laughed at him, "Why, yes I did, Peter. As a dare of course" she explained.

"Nah, she liked it, don't let her fool you" James said also walking up, getting in to the conversation, he winked at Lily as he sat on the other side of Remus. "Oh yes, I did rather enjoy it, Peter, you have a soft face" Lily joked.

Peter rubbed his face, "Do I? Thanks Lily!" he said happily. Sirius snorted, his juice almost flying out of his nose. "Well, I think it is a perfect day to enjoy the outdoors, lay on the grass beside the lake, soak up what little this November sun has to offer, what do you say, Lils? Care to join me while the boys finish?" Fess asked, standing.

"Yes, of course. Sounds like a good idea. I can work on my essay while were out there" Lily said, also standing.

"Good, see you guys out there in a bit then!" Fess said before they both walked out of the Great Hall.

"Oi, mate! So how'd it go with Lily last night?" Sirius asked James as the girls walked out of the Great Hall.

James was caught off-guard, "What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"I mean, did you two get it on then?" Sirius asked him.

"What? No! Who told you that?" James asked.

"Just the rumor going around the school" Sirius told him, sitting back on the bench.

"Rumor? The entire school thinks we slept together last night? Why? We didn't' do anything!" James protested, smiling in the back of his mind.

"Not sure. I guess because we all left together" Sirius said, helping himself to the waffles.

"Is that true? Have you heard that Moony?" James asked him.

"Yeah, I did. I told them it was preposterous though. You would have been running and skipping to breakfast if anything had happened" Remus said lazily.

"Exactly! Hey! That's mean Moony!" James said as he realized what Remus had said.

"It's the truth though. You're much too calm for anything to have happened. Therefore, my question is, where did she sleep last night?" Remus asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Well, she did have to sleep in my room because someone co-Sirius-ugh was in her room, but I promise we didn't do anything!" James explained. He wasn't completely lying, they really didn't do anything in his room. They hadn't asked if they did anything in the common room,

"Right, right. I guess maybe you're telling the truth. I mean, you did come in separately this morning" Sirius said, now disappointed. James sighed with relief.

"So what's the plan for today?" Sirius asked them.

"Plan?" James asked.

"Yeah, we have the day off, remember?" Sirius said.

"Oh, right" James said, pushing the food in his plate around.

"We should probably work on our homework. That defense essay is due on Monday, none of us have even thought about starting it" Remus said, the voice of reason.

"Ah, of course, Moony, always the responsible one. We'll get to it later. Anyone want to go down to Hogsmeade after we go get the girls?" Sirius said.

"Yeah, why not?" Peter said, eager to get out of the castle.

"Sure. I've been craving a butterbeer" James said.

"It's settled then, well, as long as that's ok with you Moony" Sirius added.

"Yeah, we just have to work on our homework when we get back, no exceptions!" Remus commanded them.

"Yes father" James joked as he finished up his last piece of bacon. They finished their breakfast, walking out on to the grounds, the November sun hitting their faces as they strode across the grass to find Lily and Fess laying on the grass directly beside the lake, their feet sitting gingerly in the water. They were laughing about something when the guys walked up.

"Hello, ladies, what are you two on about?" Sirius asked, taking a seat between the two.

"Oh nothing to worry your pretty little head about, Sirius" Lily said, patting him on the head like a dog. James sat beside Lily, using all of his willpower not to run his hand on her long legs.

"You're going to drive me insane, you know that?" he whispered in her ear. She looked at him, smirking, "I think you'll live," she whispered back with a wink. James clenched his jaw, smiling. Lily turned her attention to Remus, asking him about the defense essay.

"Well, we were going to work on it now, but they want to take a trip to Hogsmeade, you girls up for it?" Remus asked.

"Sure, not like were doing anything else today" Fess replied.

"Hogsmeade? It's not a Hogsmeade weekend" Lily said, curious at how they were getting there.

The marauders smiled. "We have other ways of getting there, without permission, of course" James said with a wink.

They got up from their seats on the grass, walking back in to the castle. Splitting up into pairs, they took different secret passages to Hogsmeade. As James and Lily took the one-eyed witch passage, they walked silently down the dark tunnel, James holding her hand, leading her.

"Is it normally this cold down here?" she asked, shivering.

"In the winter. You've never been this way have you?" he asked.

"No. I've never been to Hogsmeade except with the school" she told him.

"Oh Lily, such a follower of rules" he said, smirking at her.

"Well, yes. I left the rule breaking up to Fess" she told him, ducking under a low hanging rock. She lost her footing as she straightened up, pulling James back. He caught her with his free arm. When she looked up, she saw him smiling, "You ok?" he asked.

"Are you laughing?" she asked him.

"I might be. You're damn clumsy, woman" he said, pulling her up.

"I am not!" she said laughing.

"Oh yes you are" he told her, eyebrows raised. He pushed a piece of hair out of her eyes, then continued up the tunnel. She followed, admiring the view. James could see the light at the end of the tunnel, leading up to Honeydukes. Glancing back at her, he saw her staring at his ass, "Lily, I do believe you are staring at my ass" he said turning slightly to her.

She tried to hide her smile, "I am not!" she said defensively.

"Oh, I think you are" he said, turning towards her.

"And I think you're delusional" she said.

"Delusional? I like to call it optimistic" he said stepping closer to her.

She clenched her jaw, taking a deep breath, "That you are, James, that you are" she said as he was centimeters from her lips. Her breathing became shallow, smelling his scent, the scent that she loved so much. He smirked against her lips, then turned, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the ladder that led to Honeydukes. They reached the hidden doorway to Honeydukes, climbing through it quietly. They heard someone coming down the steps. James pushed Lily quickly into the corner of the cellar, so that they wouldn't be seen by the worker grabbing boxes to take upstairs.

"Hey, John, grab some boxes of chocolate frogs while you're down there!" someone yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Ok" the boy yelled back, grabbing 4 boxes and heading back up the stairs. Lily and James had been holding their breath as they waited for the boy to get his boxes and go. James looked down at her when the boy walked back up the stairs, raising an eyebrow. She pushed him lightly, "Don't even think about it" she said, smiling. James groaned, then led her up the ladder quietly. The others were waiting outside of the shop for them.

"About time, you two! You get lost?" Peter asked them.

"Nah, almost had a run in with one of the workers down in the cellar" James explained.

"Yeah, he took forever to get those boxes" Lily said, agreeing with him.

"Hm, that's funny, he only just went down there like 2 minutes ago" Fess said with a wink.

"Lily was scared of the rats" James explained.

"I'm sure" Sirius said, turning around to walk down the road. James shook his head, looking at Lily. Fess walked around, grabbing Lily's arm, and leading her down the road behind Sirius, Remus, and Peter. James followed behind slowly.

"So, are you going to confess now?" Fess whispered.

"Confess what?" Lily whispered back.

"About you and James" Fess told her.

"There's nothing to confess" Lily said, trying to keep a straight face.

"I know that smile. There is something. Whenever you're ready to talk, Miss Evans" Fess said as they walked in to Three Broomsticks.

"Madame Rosmerta!" Sirius said when they walked into the dark pub.

Rosmerta did a double-take, "Hello! Are you all supposed to be out of school today?" she asked, following them to a large table in front of the large fireplace.

"Ah, Rosmerta, we never were very good at following the rules, you know that" James said with a wink.

"Yes, technicalities" Remus said smiling. Rosmerta blushed, smiling at them, "So butterbeers for all of you?" she asked.

"Yes, I think so. Thanks" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. Rosmerta left the table to get their drinks.

"Wormtail, tell us, who was that girl you were dancing with last night?" James said, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms in his lap.

Peter blushed slighty, "Marlene, she's a fifth year, Ravenclaw" he managed to pipe out.

"Fifth year Ravenclaw? I thought I knew all the Ravenclaw girls…guess not. Good job, Wormtail" Sirius said, clapping him on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she was rather pretty. How'd you manage to snag her?" Remus asked him.

"She was sitting by herself last night, I asked if she wanted to dance. I knew her from the library, she's always in there studying" he explained.

"Ah, so now we know why he's been going to library so much lately. Good to know that you haven't been ditching us and actually doing your homework" Sirius said sarcastically.

"I do my homework too! There are just added benefits" Peter added.

Remus snorted, "Sounds like the library is the place to go" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"I think you're right, Moony" James said as Rosmerta walked up with their drinks.

"Here you are dears, anything else I can get you right now?" she asked.

"No thanks, Rosmerta" Remus told her smiling.

"Yes, thank you, Rosmerta" James said nodding to her. She walked away smiling. Lily and Fess exchanged glances, smirking as they picked up their drinks.

"What are you two on about" Remus asked them.

"Nothing" Lily said sipping her drink.

"Nothing" Fess said also.

The guys stared at them for a moment, Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Fess. Smirking she reached across the table for her, "Oh Rosmerta, darling, can you make me a special drink?" she said sarcastically, pretending to be one of the guys. They were making fun of them.

"Oh yes, doll, I'd be happy to get it for you, is there anyyyything else I can get for you? Anything? Anything at all?" Fess answered her.

"Oh no, Rosmerta, please, you've done enough" Lily exaggerated.

"Are you sure, darling?"

"Yes, oh yes. I'm absolutely positive, dear" Lily said blinking, making fun of the guys and their conversation.

"Oh stop it, you two" James said throwing a napkin at Lily. The girls burst out laughing, loving that they could make fun of the marauders for once.

"Can't take the heat, James?" Lily said laughing at him.

"Of course I can!" he responded defensively.

"Ithinksomeoneelsecan'ttaketheheateither" Sirius mumbled into his drink. Lily kicked him under the table, making him spit his drink in her face. She sat there, butterbeer streaming down her face, looking at Sirius in awe.

He started laughing, "That's what you get for kicking me! Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" he told her, laughing hysterically.

She couldn't help but chuckle, "Oh you're such a dog, Sirius!" she said, conjuring a towel from the napkin in front of her.

"I know, I've been told that time and time again." he told her, raising his glass to her and taking a drink. "And another thing, Lily, why would you think that statement was referring to you?" he asked, a large smirk on his face.

Lily turned a shade of crimson, studdering through her response, "I…well…you….I thought….weren't you…you were looking….yes…you were looking….at…at…me…yes, at me…or, or….so I…umm…thought" she managed to get out.

Sirius chuckled into his drink, winking at James. Lily's eyes grew large, and for the next hour, she couldn't focus. Had he told them what happened? Went and bragged about it to the rest of the Marauders? She thought he'd grown up…why would he do that? She didn't want to think that he'd bragged about last night to his friends, but by the look Sirius gave James, she couldn't help but think about it.

"Um…Lily? You coming or are you going to sit there the rest of the day?" the voice beside her asked. Looking up, she saw that she was the only one left at the table, everyone else had gone. James looked down at her, concerned. "You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I think I'm going to go on back to the castle, feeling a bit dizzy…that cold may be catching up with me for staying up late" she said weakly, standing.

"Not to mention you now have doggie germs all over your face" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiled, "Right, I should probably go shower" she said with a slight laugh.

They walked out of Three Broomsticks, heading towards Honeydukes. "You don't have to go back, I can go on my own if you want to stay. I don't want to keep you from your free afternoon" she told him as they walked.

"I know. I hadn't made up my mind yet. I want to take you another way, come on" he said suddenly, grabbing her hand and leading her in the opposite direction. "James! Where are we going?" she said as he practically jogged to his destination. He stopped in front of the gates to the Shrieking Shack, reaching into his bag and taking out a rather dingy, yet magnificent cloak.

"James…what's that?" she asked him.

He smiled, "Just trust me" he told her, unfolding the flowy material.

"Is that…" she started to say.

"Yes" he answered, "Come on, get under here" he told her, holding up the cloak.

"James, that thing is not going to fit over both of us!" she told him.

"Oh Lily, when are you going to learn to trust me?" he said sighing. Rolling her eyes, she scooted closer to him, getting under the cloak. He undid the gate to the Shack, then they both walked slowly to its doors, stepping into the creeking building.

"Why are we in here?" she asked.

"Going back to Hogwarts, of course" he told her, taking the cloak off.

"What? You mean this is a passageway?" she asked.

"Yeah, comes up below the Whomping Willow" he explained, tucking the cloak back in his bag.

"The…the Whomping Willow? You can't be serious!" she exclaimed.

"No, I'm not Sirius, but yeah, this does come up under the tree" he said smirking. She hit his arm playfully. "Ow! Damn woman! Again! Enough with the hitting! I'm going to turn you in…this is an abusive relationship!" he said rubbing his arm. She rolled her eyes, following him down the stairs and to the dark passage.

"Well, the problem with that is…this isn't exactly a relationship" she told him, treading carefully on the loose dirt.

"Oh right, because someone is afraid of commitment" he said under his breath.

"What?" she asked, stopping.

"Nothing, never mind. Come on" he told her, turning to glance at her abrupt figure and then walking on.

"No. Where did that come from? You were fine with it this morning!" she yelled at him. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling, running a hand through his dark hair, then turned to face her.

"I wasn't fine with it. I can deal with it, only because you mean that much to me, and because I want you, and I know you want me. But, Lily, I can't do this forever. We can't do this forever. I know you feel something!" he said rounding on her.

"I….I don't know…I don't know what you're talking about" she managed to say, very weakly, unable to look him in the eye.

"Yes you do! You can't deny what happened last night! It was real, Lily! You want this just as bad as I do! Admit it!" he yelled.

"I….I….I…can't…" she studdered.

James paced, shaking his head, "Lily, I can't do this. I…I don't know what else to say or do for you…Every waking moment I want to reach out and touch you, I want to kiss your forehead when you feel bad, I want to hold your hand when we walk together, I want to be able to kiss you goodbye before classes, put my arm around your shoulders, I want the little things! I'm not asking for some big, elaborate, go home meet the parents and rush into everything all at once relationship…I just want you!" he yelled, swallowing all of his pride.

"Why? So you can go brag to your friends about what we do? Or was that just what you did this morning?" she said before she could even stop herself.

James stepped back from her, "You think…you think I…I can't believe this…After everything…EVERYTHING that we've been through this year, you still think that I'm some immature prat who brags to his friends about his latest shag? Is that really what you think of me, Evans? Was last night some game to you? Why the fuck would I tell them that? No…never mind…just forget it…" he said turning and walking back towards Hogsmeade.

"James! Wait! I'm sorry! No, James, wait!" she said running after him. She grabbed his arm, turning him around and kissed him, he resisted. His mouth was trembling as he kissed her slightly, then pushed her off of him, staring at her angrily.

"Don't…no…just, don't…I don't need your pity, Evans" he said to her, pushing her away from him fully and walking back to Hogsmeade. It stung when he called her 'Evans.' Her heart plummeted to the ground, along with her knees. As she sat there, she didn't feel any tears come down her cheeks, there was no anger building up inside of her. She was emotionless. And she'd just lost the one person who'd ever made her feel anything at all.

James stormed back to Hogsmeade, finding the marauders and Fess inside Zonko's joke shop. He threw open the door, making everyone look his way as he walked in, silently.

"Oi, mate, I thought you were walking Lily back to the castle? What happened? You get her knickers in more twists than she could handle?" Sirius asked winking.

"No. And I'd rather not talk about, Evans so can we please change the subject?" he snapped.

They all were taken aback, "I'm sorry what did you just say?" Fess asked.

"What the bloody hell happened, mate?" Remus asked.

James broke the plastic doll that was in his hand in half. He clenched his jaw, "Why don't all of you just ask her…" he said slowly.

"Because you're my best friend, we're asking you" Sirius demanded.

"Ok, marauder talk, I'll just be going then…James, I'll see what's wrong with her" Fess said as she went to exit the shop.

"I know what's wrong with her, and unless you get her to change then there is no fixing it. I've changed, it's her turn" he told Fess. She nodded, leaving the shop. The marauders also left the shop, heading to the edge of town, picking up rocks and throwing them.

"Ok, talk" Peter said, picking up a rock and tossing it.

"I can't do it anymore" James said.

"Do what?" Remus asked.

"Pretend" he told them vaguely.

"Pretend about what? Oh no, Prongs, are you a cross-dresser?" Peter asked, trying to lighten the mood. James glared at him. "Sorry" Peter muttered.

"This is serious, Wormtail" Sirius told him.

"I can't pretend anymore that what Lily and I have is strictly friendship" James explained.

"It sort of is, isn't it?" Remus asked him.

"No. She…this week…she can't deny that she has feelings for me after this week. She can't" James told them.

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

"Because I can see it on her face. You tell me that she doesn't and I'll leave it alone. Go on, one of you truthfully say that you think she has zero feelings for me" James proposed. The other marauders looked at the ground, unable to argue.

"So…I'm still confused. Why are you so angry?" Remus asked.

"She thinks I bragged to you guys and told you what happened last night" James said as he threw a rock, the words leaving his lips before he even thought about them. The guys froze around him, staring, in complete astonishment.

"…umm…Prongs? What happened?" Remus asked slowly.

James eyes grew wide, realizing what he'd said, "Um…well…" he started to say, running a hand through his hair.

"I was joking earlier! She can't have taken that seriously!" Sirius said frantically.

"Well, she did, and she's under the impression that I'm still an immature twat that likes to brag about girls. And no, I did not shag her" he added before Peter could ask the question.

"You lied this morning! Marauder code! Never lie! We're your best mates!" Sirius said, unbelievably.

James smirked, "No, technically I didn't lie. You asked if we did anything in the bedroom" he mumbled.

Sirius exchanged glances with Remus, "Remind me never to sit on that couch again" Remus said to him.

"Chairs are safe" James said, looking at the ground, rubbing his neck.

"And remind me, never to sit on that floor again" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows.

"Look, the point is, she doesn't trust me. I didn't go bragging to you guys this morning, I kept it secret for her sake. I could have told you lot every detail, but…I didn't. And she thinks I'm still the immature prat I was in 5th year, the guy that asked her out every two hours. It's like this year never even happened. I can't be friends with her if she's going to ignore everything that's real…" James explained.

"I'm sorry, mate. She'll come around" Sirius said, clapping him on the back.

"That's just it. I don't want her to come around for pity, or because she thinks it's the right thing to do. I want her to do it because she needs me, because she can't live another minute without me…because…because she wants it as bad as I do" he said sadly.

"Prongs, mate, to hear you talk about love is like listening to a love-stricken poet. If only everyone had that fairy tale" Remus said smirking.

"It's not a fairy tale, Moony. One day you'll find it" James said smiling.

"Yeah, right. Werewolves are the bad guys in fairy tales, don't you remember?" Remus asked sarcastically.

"Not in yours, mate. Tonks'll be of legal age before you know it" James said clapping him on the back.

"Yeah and I'll be an old man…HEY!" Remus said hitting James's shoulder for tricking him. They laughed at Remus's blushing face, shaking their heads.

Sirius sighed, "Back to the castle then?" he asked, looking at the suddenly dark sky, thunder clouds were approaching.

"Yeah. I'm getting hungry" James admitted. They took the Shrieking Shack back to Hogwarts, planning out their next full moon journey as they went. Upon reaching the castle, they heard people yelling in the courtyard. Picking up pace, they jogged to see who it was.

"Detention? For WHAT?" a girl yelled.

"For that little stunt you just pulled! What were you thinking?" a professor asked.

"I was thinking that I could help you in getting rid of those stupid dementors! Next time I won't bother! I'll just let them suck up the soul of some poor 4th year!" the girl yelled.

"And in doing so you collapsed half of the courtyard!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"Well I'm sorry that my patronus is a damn BEAR! At least it wasn't a humpback whale!" Fess yelled.

McGonagall pursed her lips, staring at the angered girl, "Fine. 20 points to Gryffindor for your efforts, but you still have a weeks detention Miss Riddle!" she said before striding off. Fess stared at the damaged she'd just caused, then felt a hand on her arm, pulling her away from the crowd.

"Come on, let's go" Lily said, pulling her away. She'd seen the whole thing, the three dementors coming through the forest as if they'd been living there, heading straight for the entrance to the Great Hall. McGonagall just happened to be outside reading today, and went to fend them off. Fess didn't see her, conjuring her own patronus, the bear nearly demolished all of the courtyard, trying to fight off McGonagall's patronus and the dementors. She didn't think dementors could get past the protective barrier, but perhaps she was wrong.

"Ugh! I can't believe she just gave me detention for that! Didn't she see that I all I was trying to do was help?" Fess said, frustrated, as they walked up the long staircase to Lily's dorm.

"Maybe she just misunderstood" Lily said, taking up for McGonagall.

Fess glared at her, "There seems to be a lot of that going on at the moment" she mumbled. They walked in silence the rest of the way to her dorm, both flopping down on Lily's bed when they reached it.

"So I take it James told you then?" Lily said as she laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"No, not exactly, he just wasn't exactly happy when he came back after leaving you. What the hell happened?" Fess asked her.

"I don't really know. He was fine this morning when we talked about everything. I don't know where I went so wrong" Lily said sadly.

"Lily…what happened last night?" Fess asked slowly.

"What? Why?" she asked.

"Because I know that neither of you, especially James, would be this worked up over your relationship if nothing happened between the two of you last night…so tell me…what happened?" Fess said, concerned.

Lily turned away from her, staring out of the window. She stood off of the bed, walking to it, crossing her arms. "We made out…and we might have done a few oral things" Lily mumbled. Fess raised her eyebrows, then shook her head at her best friend.

"What were you thinking?" she whispered to her.

"I was thinking that it would be fun, and that it would probably be absolutely the best thing I'd ever felt…" Lily told her.

"And were you right?"

Lily thought about it, not even needing to, she knew the answer already, "Yes" she whispered.

Fess sighed, "What's the problem, then?"

"I'm not ready. I don't know if I ever will be. I…I don't know" Lily said quietly.

"You're not ready for what…sex? A relationship? What?" Fess asked.

"No, to be James Potter's girlfriend. I…I don't know…I…" Lily said shaking her head, pacing.

"You don't know what, Lily?" Fess said louder.

"I don't know what I'm doing!" Lily yelled.

"No! You don't! Lily, I thought you knew better than this! How can you play with someone's emotions like that? Do you think that you can have him whenever it's convenient for you? Or just when you want to be with him?" Fess yelled.

"No...no…no! I didn't mean for it to happen like this! Last night, we…we had both been drinking!" Lily said, on the verge of tears.

"Oh don't give me that shit! You didn't drink that much! And you wouldn't have done it if you didn't want to! It's not like he forced you into anything!" Fess yelled.

"How do you know?" Lily asked.

"How…how do…how do I know that James didn't force you into it? Because he wouldn't do that! He wants you to love him because you want to! He wants it to be real!" Fess said, standing.

"I don't know how-" Lily started to say.

"Lily, do not stand there and tell me…that you…you don't feel anything for him. Do not stand there and deny it!" Fess said angrily.

Lily started shaking her head frantically, not looking at her.

"Stop lying to yourself! You said it last night! At the dance! Lily…I…what else do you want from him?" Fess asked.

"I don't know!" Lily said throwing her arms in the air. Fess rolled her eyes at her, "Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out" she said before heading towards the door.

"Fess…Fess, no, please, I need your help!" Lily begged.

"Lily, you're my best friend. But, right now, I can't help you if you won't help yourself" she told her, opening the door and slamming it behind her. Lily stared at the door, tears falling down her cheeks. She'd lost her two best friends in a matter of two hours.


	16. Do You Really Want Me?

A/N::::: Thanks so much for the reviews guys! It really means a lot!

Lily woke up the next morning, still tired from the night before. She'd tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep more than 15 minutes at a time. The previous day's events haunted her all night. She kept hearing James's hurt voice in her head, yelling at her, then Fess's voice telling her that she was in denial about everything. The truth was, she was scared. Scared out of her mind. She was a coward. She told herself that all night. Told herself how stupid she was, how she didn't deserve to be happy, especially with someone as great as James.

She didn't even feel like showering that morning, feeling absolutely unworthy of anything. She got out of the bed, pulled on a large sweatshirt and a pair of black jogging pants. Then with one glance in the mirror, she walked down to the Great Hall, not looking at anyone. She sat by herself at the end of the table, putting only 3 grapes on her plate, and turning her water into a cup of hot tea. She was trying to find comfort in the cup of tea, letting it warm her body as she sipped it. Looking up as she heard the doors open, she saw James come in with Sirius. He didn't look at her. Sirius glanced her way, giving her a solemn look. She looked down at the table, pushing the grapes around the plate with her fingers. Finishing her tea, she slammed her cup down, heading out of the entrance doors and out on to the grounds.

Sirius watched her get up and leave, "You seriously aren't talking to her, mate?" he asked James.

James looked at him incredulously, "No…I don't want her pity. And if she wasn't ready yesterday, what makes you think she's ready today?" he asked him.

"Mate, she looks like hell. You don't think you were a bit harsh on her?" Sirius asked.

"Harsh? Harsh? Padfoot, you can't be serious! She's broken my heart for the last time. She shattered it yesterday. She…she doesn't trust me. I can't do it anymore, mate. I can't keep chasing after her in hope that she's going to fall into my arms. I'm out of ideas on how to get her to realize that she cares for me. What do you want me to do?" James said defensively.

Sirius was taken aback by James's sudden lashing out, he took a swig of his juice, standing up from the table. "Nothing, absolutely nothing, James" he said, walking away from the table, out the entrance doors. He walked to the quidditch field, wanting to let off some steam, take out his frustrations. After grabbing his broom, he walked onto the field, surprised to find it occupied. He flew up to the person who was now circling the hoops.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

Lily did a double-take, seeing Sirius fly towards her, "No. Not at all" she told him, tossing the quaffle to him. She circled around, flying in front of the hoops, playing keeper. He threw the ball up in the air, hitting it towards her with the tail of his broom. She blocked it.

"Not bad, Lily. So what are you up here for?" he asked as she tossed the ball to him.

"I should be asking you the same" she said.

"No, I'm different. I actually play quidditch. You don't. So, again, what are you up here for?" he asked, throwing the ball in her direction. She caught it, throwing it back to him.

"Well, I'm sure you have an idea" she said.

"I do. But…I want to hear it from you" he told her.

She blocked his shot, "What part do you want to hear? That I told James I wasn't ready for a relationship? Or the part where I basically told him I didn't know if I'd ever be ready to be his girlfriend and he went off on me because of what we did the other night? Or how about the part where I-" she started saying.

"Why?" he asked, holding the ball in his hands.

"Why what?" she asked, taken aback.

"Why aren't you ready?" he asked.

She sighed heavily, "That's none of your business, Sirius" she said quietly.

"I'll be damned, Lily. It's my best friend we're talking about! Now tell me, why aren-" he started to say.

"Because I'm scared, ok? I'm scared as hell! I'm a fucking coward! And because of what I am, I don't deserve him! He deserves someone who is strong, someone who can give him everything, someone who loves him more than life itself! I'm not worthy of the love he has for me! I am a worthless excuse for a human! For a Gryffindor! I can't…I can't…he deserves better than me…" she shouted at Sirius.

Sirius sat on his broom, staring at her, not sure he'd just heard her correctly, "Lily…you are not a coward" he told her.

"Yes I am!" she told him.

"NO YOU AREN'T! What kind of coward actually admits to being a coward? None! Because cowards are in denial and too scared to admit it! What kind of coward stands up for their friends? If one of your friends was in trouble or dying you would help them, you would jump in front of a curse for them! If Voldemort was trying to recruit you now, you would die before you ever joined him! That's not a coward, Lily! YOU are not a coward! And you're scared of James because you've been fighting him and pushing him away for so long you don't know how to react when it actually gets real!" Sirius yelled back at her.

"You're wrong! I am a coward! And I'm scared, Sirius! I'm scared" she said quietly.

"What are you scared of?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm scared that he only wants me because I'm the only girl that's never wanted him! And once he gets me he'll…he'll just take off, never talk to me again" she told him.

"Lily, if he was going to do that, he would have just left you the other night, not let you sleep in his bed, and he wouldn't be so upset over this. You should know that" he told her.

"But I don't! Gods…I'm so stupid, pathetic" she said quietly.

"You're not pathetic, you're not stupid, and you're not a coward" he told her sternly.

"How can you say that? I know what a fucking idiot I am! I can't even admit that I love him! How can he want to be with someone so pathetic? How can you let your best friend be with such a pathetic person?" she yelled at him, her voice cracking.

He sat back on his broom, looking at her smugly, "Step One: Admittance" he said simply.

She did a double-take, "What?" she asked.

"Step One…is complete" he said.

"I didn't admit to anyth-" she started to say. She almost fell off of her broom at the realization of what she'd done. "I…Sirius" she said looking up at him, her eyes wide. She felt her chest fill, her shoulders lighten, her stomach tighten in knots. A lump appeared in her throat, her mouth became dry. Sirius smiled at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Sirius…I think I'm in love with him" she told him, her face bewildered.

Sirius laughed, nearly falling off of his broom, "Lily, you look like you're in absolute shock. Had you seriously never considered the thought?" he asked

She thought a minute, "Well…no. I mean…Sirius…I think I love him" she said again. He laughed at her newfound realization. "Ok, you love him. What are you going to do about it?" he asked her, smiling widely.

"I haven't the foggiest idea!" she said throwing her arms in the air, nearly loosing her balance on her broom. Sirius laughed again.

"He won't even look at me! Sirius! I don't know what to do!" she said frantically.

"Should've realized it sooner" he told her.

"Oh, shut up! I refuse to dwell on the past. This morning I was thinking about suicide and now…now I have to come up with a way to get him back" she said, frustrated.

"Suicide? Really Lily?" he asked.

"Well, I wasn't going to do it! Sirius, I need help! What am I going to do?" she asked pitifully.

He smirked at her, "Not that fun when the tables are turned, is it?"

"Oh shut it! This is serious!" she said.

"No, I'm Sirius" he said smiling. She glared at him.

"Ok, ok, in all…seriousness…you're just going to have to start slow, just like he did. Don't go rushing in and tell him you love him, he'll just think it's out of pity. You have to win his trust back, his friendship. I mean, you hurt him pretty badly, Lily" he explained to her.

"Yeah, I know. So this is what he felt like, huh?" she asked, staring at the ground.

"Well, no, not exactly. He didn't realize how much he liked you until around 5th year, and only at the end of last year did he realize he loved you, it's why he made the decision to mature a little over the summer, stop hexing random people, and we all decided only to do two pranks this year. Go out with a bang" he told her.

"Right" she said quietly. He flew over to her, taking the quaffle from her hands, "Come on, let's go inside" he told her.

She looked up at him sadly, "Yeah, ok" she said before pointing her broom down, flying to the ground. They both put their brooms away, heading into the castle. They bypassed the Great Hall, heading straight for the stairs.

James rubbed his neck as he walked up the stairs. As he glanced down, Lily's red hair caught his eye. He couldn't help but look at her. It was then that he noticed who was with her, Sirius. 'That's odd' he thought to himself. She laughed at whatever he was saying, he was talking with his hands as he always did. Shaking his head, James continued up the stairs to his dorm quickly. He sat in the chair at the desk, taking out his charms homework. A moment later, he heard the portrait hole open, Lily walking in quietly. He glanced up at her, then looked back down at his parchment, continuing to write.

"Hi James" she said quietly, walking towards the desk. He didn't respond. She looked down at the floor nervously, "What are you working on?" she asked him. He sighed, rubbing his neck, his jaw clenched. "Charms" he told her.

"Oh, would you mind if I joined you? I actually needed to work on my charms homework as well" she said sitting across from him. He looked up at her angrily. "No. No, you cannot sit here at the table with me. Actually, you know what? Here, just take the damn table, take it and use it like you do everything else!" he yelled, standing up from the table, gathering his books into a stack.

"James, you can't be serious!" she said, her heart sinking.

"I'm dead serious, Evans. Don't stand there and pretend like nothing ever happened, because it did. You don't get it do you? I can't be your friend! I can't do this! Whatever this is! I just…you don't understand" he said as he picked up his books.

She stood, "I do understand! James…I…Don't do this! Please!" she begged as he walked up the stairs, slamming his door behind him. "I love you" she whispered under her breath, sitting on the back of the couch, burying her head in her hands.

The whole of November and half of December went by without James speaking to her. She tried a couple of times to start conversations, saying hello, asking if he understood the homework, even about the quidditch game, nothing worked. After his latest blow up on her, she'd decided just to keep quiet, leave him alone for a few days…or weeks. But with the holidays fast approaching, she didn't want to leave things unsaid before he went home. She wasn't going home, even with Petunia married, she expected they would be at her parents' home more. Lily walked to Transfiguration by herself, taking her seat beside Fess when she reached the classroom. They'd made up, Lily spilling everything to her, about how she'd finally realized her feelings for James. Fess had laughed at her, then slapped her for being such an idiot.

"Any luck today?" Fess asked her.

"I haven't tried" Lily admitted.

"Not a very good strategy if you ask me" Fess said, leaning back in her chair.

"Well, I didn't ask you. Besides, he yells at me every time I say as much as a simple 'hello.' I'm tired of it. I can ignore him just as well as he can me" Lily concluded.

"Right, James ignoring you, that's where you're wrong" Fess told her, sitting back up in her chair, slouching on the desk.

"What?" Lily asked, confused.

"He's staring at you now. He's never stopped staring at you. It's just…it's like second nature, a reflex. He does it without realizing it" Fess told her.

Lily didn't dare look, "Then why won't he talk to me" she asked quietly.

"I don't know" Fess told her, looking at her sadly. McGonagall started the class then, talking about Animagi for the 2nd time that semester. Lily doodled on her parchment, not paying attention to her.

James stared at the back of Lily's head. He knew he was being mean, not talking to her, yelling each and every time she tried talking to him, but he wanted her to know how he felt. He was leaving for Godric's Hollow in 2 days time. He hoped the time off would clear his head and he would be able to come back to Hogwarts with a free mind. He put his head in his hands, rubbing his face, trying to wake himself up. He stared at her red hair again, not realizing he was doing it. Sirius smirked at him, then shook his head, "Mate, are you going to stare all class or actually write something down" Sirius asked him.

James sighed, picking up his quill and pretending to write, glancing up every now and then at Lily. He noticed she was doodling, continually tracing something on her parchment, but he couldn't make out what it was. He leaned forward a little, pretending to be stretching his back. He could barely make out the words on her paper. She was tracing small letters in the corner of her parchment. He could see a J, a L, and a P, but there were what looked like two more letters that he couldn't make out.

'Great, she's already moved on' he thought to himself. Sirius saw him look at Lily's paper, then look down sadly at his own. He rolled his eyes and wrote down something on a piece of paper, passing it to him. James glanced to him, confused, he opened the parchment:

JP+LE ….I swear, mate, you're blind and you're an idiot

James glanced back to Lily's parchment, then to Sirius who was raising his eyebrows at him.

"I told you" Sirius said lazily.

James shook his head, "I'm not believing anything until I hear it from her" he said.

"Mate, you won't let her tell you hello, how do you expect to hear anything from her?" Sirius asked him. James looked down at his paper, running a hand through his unruly hair. He stared at the paper, the 4 letters Sirius had written down until McGonagall called the end of class.

"Mate, you coming to dinner?" Sirius asked him as they stood up.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll catch up" James said, stuffing his books in his bag. The small piece of parchment Sirius had given him fell to the floor. He sighed, bending down to pick it up. Before he could, someone already had it in their hand, reading it. Lily looked at the piece of parchment James had dropped, the letters identical to the ones she'd been tracing for the last hour. She blinked a couple of times, taking a deep breath before handing it to him, looking up at his dark eyes.

"I think…umm…I think you dropped this" she said, looking back down at the floor quickly. He took the paper, his fingers slightly grazing hers. "Right. Thanks" he said, shoving it in his bag and walking away from her quickly. She sighed again, pushing her bag further up on her shoulder and walking out of the classroom to the Great Hall. She sat down beside Fess, who was already there, sitting next to Sirius.

"So, Slughorn just keeps going on and on about this stupid luck potion that were supposed to be brewing…We haven't even finished the veriterserum! How does he expect us to watch that potion over the holidays?" Sirius was asking.

"Slughorn's a quack. He's crazy, you know that" Remus told him.

"I know, but damn! We have less than two days until the holidays, I didn't plan on spending them pouring over a potion sitting in the corner of the dungeons!" Sirius complained.

"Are you on about that stupid luck potion again, Padfoot?" James said as he sat down across from him.

"Yes, I am! It's ridiculous!" Sirius exclaimed.

James laughed at him, rolling his eyes, "You're the only one who thinks it's ridiculous" he told him.

"Yeah, whatever, mate. You'll see" Sirius told him.

"What are you going to do?" Remus asked him.

"I don't know…something…" Sirius concluded. They laughed at him.

"Babe, I honestly don't think this plan is going to work" Fess told him.

"What plan?" he asked.

"Exactly" she said, helping herself to the mashed potatoes in front of her. Lily shook her head at her friends, laughing at them. She glanced at James's happy face, his smile lighting up the room. They continued to laugh and talk, but Lily didn't pay much attention to the conversation. She swirled her spoon around in the soup she'd decided to have. Fess looked over at her, "You ok there, Lily?" she asked, bringing the attention to her.

Lily looked up, then quickly back down as she felt everyone's eyes on her, "Yeah, fine. Just tired" she told them uncomfortably.

"You look like hell, Lils, if you don't mind me saying so" Remus told her.

She laughed quietly, "Thank you Remus, you look pretty terrible yourself, you know" she said sarcastically. He laughed, shaking his head at her. She looked back down at her now cold soup, "I'm going on up, work on my homework. See you guys" Lily said standing.

"See you" they all told her. She walked up to her dorm quickly, wanting to change clothes and relax on the couch. Running up to her room, she changed into a pair of shorts, tall black socks, and a sweatshirt. Grabbing her favorite blanket, she ran back down the stairs, falling immediately into the couch. The fire was already lit, warming the cold air of the common room. She took out her Arithmancy homework, quill and ink, spreading it across her lap. A few moments later, James walked in, he didn't look towards her, just went straight up the stairs as if he were going to get something. She looked up from her homework, watching him climb the stairs. After a minute or two, she heard him come back down the stairs, a little slower this time, taking a seat at the desk. Every few minutes she would glance up at him, watching him. His brows were furrowed in a sort of concentrated look as he wrote feverishly. She could hardly concentrate on her homework as long as he was in her peripheral vision. Sighing, she slid to the floor, to where she wouldn't be able to see him. James watched her leave the couch and sit on the floor. 'Curious' he thought to himself, then turned back to his drawing. A few minutes later he heard her say something.

"Damn" she muttered under her breath. She was out of ink. She didn't want to ask him for any, he might blow up on her again, she didn't know if she could take it anymore. But she was actually understanding her homework, and she didn't know when she'd be going back to Hogsmeade to get any. Pursing her lips and scrunching her face in frustration, she stood.

"Hey, umm…James?" she asked quietly. He stopped drawing, raising an eyebrow at her, "What?" he said sighing.

"You wouldn't happen to have an extra pot of ink, would you?" she asked. He glared at her, then rummaged through his bag, taking out one of the inkpots he had in the side pocket, extending it to her. She walked around the couch, taking it from his hand, "Thanks" she said quietly. He watched her walk back around the couch, sitting on the rug in front of the fire. They sat in silence, as they did every night, until 10pm, when one of them usually went to bed. Not tonight. Neither of them moved until nearly midnight. James sat back in his chair, stretching his arms out and yawning. The room must have been filled with the 'yawning bug' because Lily yawned also.

"James, don't you know yawns are contagious?" she asked him from her spot on the rug.

"Among other things" he replied. She pursed her lips, tired of his stupid, angry responses to her polite questions and gestures.

She stood, putting her hands on her hips, "You know what? I'm tired of this" she told him. He looked up from his drawing, "Tired of what?" he asked.

"Of this! Of not being able to talk to you like a normal person! Gods, James, I can't even say good morning without you turning into some kind of…I don't know…fighting words! It's stupid!" she said to him.

"Oh, you're calling me stupid now" he said, crossing his arms.

"No, I wasn't calling you stupid, just your actions…Gods, you know what? You're such a damn girl, James!" she shouted at him.

He stood, "I'm a girl? How the bloody hell did you come to that conclusion?" he asked.

"Because, you're parading around here like your heart's been broken, like I ripped it to pieces and buried it somewhere!" she said.

"In case you didn't know, you did! You did rip my heart apart" he yelled at her.

She shook her head, "James…I don't pity you. I don't. In fact, we've gone back to the way we were last year, not speaking and fighting. So how could I pity someone that puts me down every chance he gets? Like I did to you?" she asked him calmly.

He looked at her now calm face, "Good. I'm glad you don't pity me. I'm glad you don't think I'm some sap who couldn't handle rejection" he told her.

"I didn't reject you" she said shaking her head.

"Oh really? Let me refresh your memory, you told me you were scared to be with me, and you didn't know if you'd EVER be ready to be with me! What part of that isn't rejection?" he asked.

"The part that happened the next day! The part that you never let me tell you because you were too busy blowing up in my face, yelling at me, not giving me a chance!" she yelled.

"Well, now you know how it feels" he spat at her.

"Yeah, you're absolutely right. I now know how it feels for the man I love to positively loathe me. Thank you for sharing that wonderful feeling with me" she said staring at him. He stood at the desk, expressionless, staring back at her. When he didn't say anything, Lily took it as her que to leave. Without gathering her books, she walked past him, going up the stairs to her room, slamming the door behind her. James stood at the desk, frozen to the spot. He didn't know if it was real or not. He tried to move, to go up the stairs, but his legs felt heavy, he barely made it to the couch before falling on it. Staring up at the ceiling, he kept replaying her last statement in his head over and over. He picked up her blanket, throwing it over himself before falling asleep.


	17. I Fell Apart But Got Back Up Again

A/N:::: Well guys, this is it…The last chapter…I may write more in the future, but I thought this was a good place to end the beginning of the Lily/James story. I'm working on some other projects, another Lily/James story for sure, but completely different from this one. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy! And as usual, reviews are GREATLY appreciated!

James could barely cut his eggs the next morning at breakfast. Sirius looked at him curiously, "You ok, mate?" he asked him.

James looked over at him, "You knew didn't you?" he asked.

Sirius was very confused now, "Knew what…" he asked him.

"You knew…you knew she loved me" James asked him.

Sirius dropped his fork, nearly choking on the food he'd just put in his mouth, "What? She-" he started to ask.

"Kind of. She didn't outright say 'I love you.' but it was…inferred. But you knew, the day you two played quidditch?" James asked.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, "Yeah. Yeah, I did, mate. It's why I kept telling you to talk to her" Sirius told him quietly. James looked back down at his uneaten food, pushing it around with his fork.

Sirius looked at him, concerned, "So what are you going to do about it?" he asked him.

James shook his head, "I don't know" he said quietly, his head laying in his hands.

Sirius slammed his fist on the table, making James jump. Sirius nostrils were flared, his jaw clenched, clearly upset. James stared at him. Sirius shook his head, taking a deep breath, "Dammit James! You've been in love with this girl since you were 15, and the minute she says she loves you, you're running?" Sirius asked angrily. James opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius shut him up quickly, "I'm tired of looking at you and seeing nothing but pain and sadness in your eyes. You're not the guy you were, I miss my best friend. I miss the guy that never gave up on anything, no matter what the challenge was, the guy that owned this castle, the guy never let anything or anyone get him down" Sirius whispered angrily.

"Padfoot, I-" James started to say.

"No. Don't. I don't need an apology. I'm your best friend, and I'm always going to be. But right now, you're being an idiot. You know how you always said you didn't want to force her into loving you, that you wanted her to love you of her own free will, because she wanted to? Guess what? She wants to. And right now, you won't let her. So, I'll ask you again. What are you going to do about it?" Sirius said, staring at James's face. James didn't say anything, he looked back down at his plate, laying his head in his hand. Sirius shook his head, "I can't believe this" he whispered, standing up from the table. James watched Sirius leave him, heading up the stairs outside of the entrance. Remus passed him, Sirius merely shaking his head at him, throwing up his arms and walking on. Remus sat down with James, "What's his deal?" Remus asked.

"Remus, have you ever wanted something so badly that you thought it would be better just to let it go?" James said quietly.

"No. But you know what they say, if you love something, set it free, if it doesn't come back, it was never yours. If it does come back, its yours forever" Remus told him, grabbing a piece of toast from the tray in front of him.

James sat in silence, thinking about what Remus had just said. Remus took a bite of his toast, staring at his friend, "What's up, mate?" he asked him.

"I don't know what to do" James told him. Remus thought about it a minute, "I take it she told you" he asked. James's head shot up, looking at him, "Did everyone know, except me?" he asked him.

"It was actually kind of obvious. If she didn't, she would have simply moved on with her life, acted as if nothing ever happened, maybe started dating someone else. But she didn't. And she looks like hell, I don't think she's worn makeup or actually done anything to her hair in over a month" Remus told him, taking another bite of his toast. A lump rose in James's throat, looking up as Lily and Fess walked into the Great Hall. His eyes caught hers, quickly turning away as they sat further down the table.

"I guess you're right, she does look like hell" James said quietly.

"You don't look so good yourself, mate. Especially this morning. Did you even comb your hair? When's the last time you shaved?" Remus said, looking at the stubble growing on James's jaw.

"Shut up" James said smirking.

"Hey, it's none of my business if you want to look like a lumberjack, just a question" Remus said smiling.

"This coming from the wolfman" James said, shaking his head.

"It's true" Remus said smiling. James glanced down the table to Lily. The circles under her eyes made her look paler than she had before, her face no longer glowed with happiness. Her eyes, once brilliant and intense, had lost their luster. She smiled at Fess, laughing at the joke she'd just told, but it just looked like a show.

Lily laughed at Fess, then looked around her, feeling as if she was being watched. As she looked down the table, she found James looking at her. She gave him an awkward smile before turning back to her cereal, swirling her spoon in it. Fess looked at her sadly, "I take it it didn't go that well last night" she said.

"No. Not really. I mean, I practically told him I loved him, but-" Lily started saying.

"You told him?" Fess asked.

"Kind of. All he did was stare at me. I'm a joke, a complete failure" Lily said sadly.

"Lily, I imagine he was in shock. I mean, you've denied it so many times, he probably thought he'd never hear those words from you" Fess told her.

"I guess" Lily said sighing.

"So what are you going to do now?" Fess asked.

"Well…I suppose…I'm going to try again" she said confidently.

"Yes!" Fess said smiling, "That's the Lily I know!"

Lily snorted, "Let's hope this time it goes a bit better" she said, looking down the table again. He was standing, leaving the table to head for morning classes. She watched him as he walked past her and out of the entrance, heading up the stairs.

"This is going to be a long day" she told Fess.

Charms passed by slowly, along with Potions. All Slughorn did was argue with Sirius about starting the luck potion, the day before they were to leave for the holidays.

"This is ridiculous! We're going to be gone for two weeks! How are any of us supposed to keep a watch on our potions? I know you are going to! Any time off and you're going to spend it doing who knows what!" Sirius yelled at the professor.

"Mr. Black, the potion needs time to brew! The two weeks you all will be gone will be perfect for the time it needs to brew! The longer we stand here arguing, the less time everyone will have to start their potion!" Slughorn argued.

Lily laid her head on her desk as the two continued to argue. She was so tired, she hardly ever got any sleep anymore. Her dreams haunted with images of falling, of James going to save her and then letting her hand go, the words 'I don't want you' playing over and over in her head. She thought she'd only closed her eyes for a moment, until he felt someone shaking her. She rubbed her eyes, sighing heavily. "What?" she asked.

"Lily, you're talking in your sleep" Fess whispered to her.

"I-what?" Lily asked, confused. Sirius and Slughorn were still arguing in front of the class. "How long was I asleep?" she asked.

"About an hour, but you started talking, and class is about to let out, so I thought I'd wake you" Fess explained.

"What did I say?" she asked, yawning.

"I couldn't make out much, just no, James, and then a couple more no's" Fess told her.

"Great" Lily whispered, laying her head in her hands.

"Are you still having those dreams?" Fess asked.

"Yeah" Lily told her. Fess looked at her sadly, sighing.

"Well, class, I'm sorry that that is all the time we have for today. It seems succeeded in postponing your brewing of the luck potion. Well…until after the holidays then! I hope all of you have a good one!" Slughorn said to them. They all got up from their seats, proceeding towards the door. Lily didn't look up as she swung her bag on her shoulder, hitting the person standing behind her with it. She turned around to see who she'd hit. James was doubled over behind her, her bag had hit his family jewels.

"Damn woman, you're still trying to kill me!" he said hoarsely.

"Oh gods James! How was I supposed to know you were behind me?" she said.

"Just watch where you're swinging that damned thing!" he said.

"You watch where you're going!" she said, pulling her bag further up on her should and walking out of the class. She walked straight to lunch, sitting down at the long Gryffindor table next to Remus. He was smirking at her.

"What are you on about?" she asked.

"Nothing" he said smiling.

"Oh come off it, Remus" she said glaring at him.

"I know your secret" he said happily.

"Remus, I have no secrets" she told him.

"Other than the fact that you love James, that is" he said nonchalantly.

She took a deep breath, "Again, Remus, I have no secrets. I'm not going to deny it or pretend like I have no clue what you're talking about" she said emotionless.

Remus raised his eyebrow, smiling at her, "That's the Lily I know" he said quietly. Lily shook her head, helping herself to one of the tea sandwiches sitting on the tray in front of her. James and Fess walked in the Great Hall, sitting down across from Lily and Remus. James didn't look at Lily as he sat. Lily sighed, loosing her appetite, "I've got to go, talk to McGonagall about staying for the holidays. See you guys later" she said, getting up from the table and rushing out of the Hall. Remus kicked James under the table when Lily had left the table.

"Ow! What was that for?" James asked him, rubbing his leg.

"What'd you do this time?" Remus asked him.

"What? What do you mean what did I do?" James asked.

"You can't even be nice?" Remus asked.

"Why do I need to?" James said, throwing his hands in the air.

"You could at least be polite to her. She told you she loved you" Remus said.

"Maybe she was mistaken" he said.

Fess started laughing, "Mistaken? You can't possibly think that!" she said.

"Yeah, I can. She's always denied it in the past, maybe she just…I don't know!" James said, frustrated.

"Oh, will you shut up? You're starting to sound like a broken record. I can't believe you're still denying that she said it" Sirius said as he and Peter joined them. James didn't say anything. Swinging his bag over his shoulder, he stood, "Right, I'll see you guys later" he said, turning to leave the table.

"Oh come on, Prongs! Lighten up!" Remus yelled after him.

"Go get her, mate!" Fess yelled at him.

"Stop being a pussy, Prongs!" Sirius yelled as James reached the entrance. Without turning around, he put his hand in the air, flipping them off, they laughed at his frustration. James walked up the stairs slowly, heading to the Transfiguration classroom. No one else was in the class yet, he took his seat in the middle of the class, taking out his parchment, quill, and inkpot. He laid his head on his desk, waiting on the other students to arrive. The door opened, someone walked inside quietly. James didn't look up, not really wanting to have to engage in conversation with anyone. Lily took her seat in front of James. She didn't realize he would be in there so early. James stared at the back of her head, wanting desperately to say something, but not knowing what. He made up something.

"Um, Lily, do you have…never mind" he said shaking his head, unable to really think of anything he needed. She turned around, watching his faltering face. She was about to say something when the door opened, a slew of students pouring in to the classroom. She gave him and awkward smile, then turned around and faced the front for the remainder of the class.

After class she got up quickly from her seat, heading straight up the stairs to her dorm. The holidays had officially begun, the other students were leaving in the morning for their homes. James and Sirius were going to the Potter's, Remus had elected to stay, and Peter was going home. Fess was staying, she didn't really have anywhere else to go. James had told her she could go to his house, but she didn't want to leave Lily there alone.

Lily slouched on the couch, pulling her blanket close to her. As she pulled it closer, she noticed a peculiar scent on it. It was James. She balled it up, bringing closer to her face, closing her eyes as she breathed in the scent that she so missed. She knew it was her fault, knew that if she hadn't been so stupid, he would have his arms wrapped around her at that moment, and she wouldn't be clinging to an old blanket like a child. She laid her head on the pillow at the end of the couch, curling up with the softness of the blanket, falling asleep almost immediately.

She remembered bits and pieces of her dream, she knew that James was in it, she was running, turning she looked behind her, thinking someone was following her. As she turned back around she ran straight into James, falling backwards. He caught her, wrapping his arms close around her. She looked deep into his eyes. She remembered wondering why he didn't have on his glasses, she knew he couldn't see. It was then that her foot slipped off the edge of the cliff they were suddenly standing on. He caught her hand, "I won't let you go" he told her. She struggled against the weight of gravity pulling her down, her hand slipping from his. Finally, her sweaty hand slipped completely. She flailed in the air, he tried reaching for her over and over. Falling, she watched his face disappear.

Lily woke up in a cold sweat, lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. She'd rolled off of the couch. Sitting up, she looked around the room, breathing heavily.

"You were screaming" James said, sitting in the corner at the desk, looking up at her over his glasses, his face expressionless.

She looked around nervously, her eyes wide, "Screaming" she repeated.

"Yeah, and you fell" he pointed out.

"Well, I'd worked that part out, James" she said angrily, getting up from her position on the floor.

"What were you dreaming about?" he asked. She was taken aback at his sudden interest in her. She stared at him, her hair frizzed all on top of her head, looking completely disheveled, "It was nothing. You don't care anyway" she said sadly, picking up her blanket off the floor.

"Don't turn this around on me, Lily" he said quietly.

She looked at the floor, running a hand through her hair, "Right, sorry" she told him. She sighed heavily, throwing herself into the armchair she was standing next to, staring at the ceiling.

"So you're going home tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah, two weeks off, clear my head, come back with a fresh outlook on things" he said

"Right. Yeah" she said, nodding.

"And you? Are you going home tomorrow?" he asked, trying to keep up the conversation.

"No, no, I'm staying here" she told him. He nodded. She stared at the ceiling, sighing.

"So how about Sirius and Slughorn today" he said, feeling completely stupid.

"Yeah, I can't believe he argued with him the whole class. Honestly I didn't hear half of it, I fell asleep" she told him.

"Right" he said looking down at the table.

Lily looked over at his nervous face, staring at him. James looked up, finding Lily's intense green eyes staring into his. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, until they heard a commotion outside of the portrait hole. Turning, they saw Sirius stumble through the door, blood pouring down his face.

"Sirius!" Lily yelled. James was already out of his seat, catching Sirius before he fell to the floor. He dragged him over to the couch, setting him down. Lily kneeled in front of the two of them, staring at the gash on Sirius's forehead.

"What the bloody hell happened, mate?" James asked him.

"That damn bastard, Diggory! He was hitting on Fess in the hall" Sirius explained, holding the wet towel Lily had given him to his forehead.

"So why are you covered in blood?" James asked.

"I hit him. Then the bastard pushed me into one of the suits of armor, it gashed my forehead open, he ran, thinking he was going to get in trouble" Sirius told them.

"So where's Fess" Lily asked.

"Not sure. She went running after him. He's probably dead by now, come to think of it" Sirius said thoughtfully. At that moment, Fess came running into the room, breathing heavily.

"Oh gods, Sirius!" Fess said kneeling down in front of him like Lily.

"I'm fine, Fess!" he exclaimed, "What'd you do with Diggory?" he asked.

"Well, he might miss the train in the morning" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"You would" Lily said shaking her head and laughing. As she laughed, she caught James's eye, smiling at him for a moment. Blushing, she looked at the floor, then back up at Fess and Sirius.

"Are you sure you're ok, mate? That's a pretty nasty gash" James asked Sirius.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. I've got my woman here now" he said pulling Fess onto his lap. Lily and James rolled their eyes.

"Oh will you two get a room?" Lily said laughing.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, Lily. See you kids in the morning!" Sirius said, dragging Fess out of the room, his forehead still bleeding.

"I swear he's mental sometimes" Lily said to James.

"Yeah, he is. But, he's my best friend" James said smiling.

"And he's a good best friend to have. I'm glad he and Fess have each other" Lily said quietly.

"Yeah, I suppose. Everyone needs someone" he said, running a hand through his hair and looking at Lily.

"James, I-" she started to say.

"It's late. I'd better start packing. The train's coming pretty early in the morning" he said standing up from the couch. She stood also, standing inches from him. His eyes looked scared as he stared into her own lost eyes. She tried inching closer to him, standing on her toes, leaning into his face. He stepped back, walking away from her, and up the stairs slowly. Lily wanted to curse herself. He was right there! Why couldn't she just say it! She stared up at the ceiling, hands on her hips in frustration. Picking up the nearest pillow, she put it over her mouth, screaming into it. Falling back into the chair, she fell asleep, her dreams no better.

/

The next morning, Lily awoke with a start. She sat straight up in the armchair she'd fell asleep in. It was too quiet. Looking upstairs, she saw James's open door. She didn't know what it was, but something inside her was struggling to get out, building her confidence. She got up from the chair, running up the stairs to James's room.

"James! I thought maybe you-" she started saying, stopping midsentence when she saw the emptiness of his room. His trunk was gone, along with some of the pictures on his desk. She stepped inside, closing her eyes, deeply breathing in the scent of the room. It smelled of James. She looked at the framed picture beside his bed. Picking it up, she sat on the side of his bed, holding the picture in her hand. A tear ran down her face. It was one of the pictures they'd taken the night of the Halloween dance, the two of them laughing at the camera, snuggled against each other. She looked up at the clock on the mantle, 10:35. The train was leaving at 11. Taking the picture out of the frame, she wiped the tears off of her now determined face, running down the stairs and out of the portrait hole. The quickest way to get to Hogsmeade was one of the secret passages. Taking a glance down the hall, she ran to the statue of the one-eyed witch, tapping it, and scrambling through. Her stomach was in knots, a lump in her throat, her chest was heavy, she felt like she wanted to puke, but she knew it was the nerves. Finally, she reached the trap door to Honeydukes. She didn't care if she was caught, no one was going to stop her. As she ran up the ladder in Honeydukes, she caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall. 10:42.

Her mouth was dry, she didn't remember nearly knocking over a couple of fully grown witches who were looking at the boxes of candy in the shop. She nearly fell in the snow covered ground as she turned the corner, running to the train platform. The people stared at her as she passed them, her red hair flowing behind her. She wished she'd worn a coat, the long sleeve tee she'd been wearing the day before wasn't exactly keeping her warm in the snow. The wet snow was weighing down her jogging pants, and coming through the shoes she was wearing. She didn't care. The only thing that mattered was finding James.

Finally, she reached the platform. She cursed herself for being so short. Everyone was hanging out on the platform, telling each other bye, handing off gifts, and wishing each other a safe journey home. Lily swallowed hard as she stood on her tiptoes, trying to find him. She walked through the crowd, looking every where around her. Her hands on her hips, she stopped in the middle, turning in circles. Glancing up at the clock, her eyes filled with tears. 10:48. The lump in her throat became larger, her heart sinking as she looked up at the sky, wanting to scream. The train whistle blew. 10:50. A lot of the students started getting onto the train, clearing the platform a bit, giving her a better view around her. She turned in a circle around her, looking up and down the platform. She took a deep breath, facing the train. It was then that she actually looked inside the train, and found the person she was looking for, sitting right in front of her. Her breathing quickened, she stepped slowly towards the train window. He was sitting in the compartment with Sirius. Sirius had already kicked off his shoes, and was stretched out on the bench facing her, the daily prophet in his hands. James sat with his head in his hands.

Sirius sat up, getting comfortable, putting his paper down for a moment. He glanced out of the window facing him, seeing something that completely puzzled him.

"Oi, mate" Sirius said, hitting James with the newspaper.

"What?" James asked, looking up. Sirius nodded towards the window. James turned his head, seeing Lily standing there in the snow. Her face was red, her nose cold, her hair frizzled and blowing in the cold winter wind. He could see her shivering from inside the compartment. He stared back at her, then looked at what she had in her hand. It was the picture of the two of them from beside his bed. Lily shivered, staring back at James. Her chest becoming heavier by the moment. Her eyes were still full of tears. She could feel her nose becoming colder, and redder by the moment. She walked a little more towards the window, breathing quicker, his eyes burning through her. The train whistle blew, 10:55.

Sirius stared at his best friend, "Are you going to go-" he started to say.

"Shut up, Padfoot" James said as he stood, walking down the hall outside of the compartments.

Lily watched him get up, then glanced back to Sirius who smiled at her. That was all she needed to max out her confidence. James walked to the nearest door, stepping off of the train. Only a few students remained on the platform, mostly people waving goodbye to their friends. She watched him walk a few steps towards her and stop, his expression confused.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"I came to find you" she told him, her mouth dry.

"Why?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

She took a deep breath, "Because you forgot something" she said, holding out the picture to him.

He glared at her, "Why do I need that? I can't believe this" he said shaking his head, turning back around to get on the train.

Lily blinked, her entire body shaking, "No, James" she stuttered, watching him step towards the door, "James, I love you!" she yelled to him. He paused, turning back around, "What?" he asked.

"I said…I said I love you. I love you, James Potter" she said, her breathing uneven. The cold wind shot like a whip through the air, giving her the chills, she was sure her feet were going to have frostbite on them.

Lily stood, waiting for a response. She looked up at his eyes and then back down at the ground, becoming nervous. Her stomach sinking to the floor. "Right. Of course this blows up in my face, just like every other time I do anything" she said under her breath, kicking the snow with her foot. She glanced up at the clock, 10:57. She jumped when she heard pounding on the window beside her, Sirius yelling at James, "Are you just going to stand there all day, mate? What the bloody hell are you doing? You're an idiot! You've got to be-" Sirius yelled, beating on the window.

James walked towards the window, hitting it with his own fist, "Shut up, mate!" James yelled at him. He turned to Lily, her eyes now rid of any tears, "Lily…I…you…" he started saying.

"Oh gods, James! How many times must we go through the agony of denying each other? …James…" she looked at the ground, pacing, shaking her head, "I love you. I want YOU….I want you, forever. Only you, and all of you. You and me. Everyday, for the rest of our lives" she said to him, her voice shaking in the cold wind. She clenched the photo tighter in her hand. The whistle blew again, 10:58. She took a deep breath, staring at him, "James. Please say something, please" she whispered, begging him. He looked up at her. A tear running down his now rosy cheek. Her scrunched expression softened as she saw the tear under his glasses. He looked down at the ground, his hands resting on his hips, then back up at her. She looked helpless standing there in the freezing wind, waiting on his next move. The two of them didn't notice that everyone on the train was staring through the windows, anticipating James's reaction.

Lily looked up into the falling snow, closing her eyes, "Please don't walk away, James. I love you, I do" she said softly. She watched another tear fall down his cheek. Taking a deep breath, James strode towards her. In three long strides, he reached her, cupping her face with his hand, bringing it to his own.

Lily felt her knees literally fall out from under her when he kissed her. She grabbed his arm, holding herself up. His other hand wrapped around her waist, bringing her body closer to his. The lump in her throat disappeared, her chest lightened, and her stomach fluttered. He kissed her intensely, the tears on his cheeks drying. She ran her hand through his hair, pulling his face closer. She didn't want to let him go. They finally had each other. The whistle blew again, 10:59, breaking their intense moment. James pulled away from her, staring in her eyes. The luster was back. She searched his face, reaching up and wiping a tear from under his glasses.

"Why are you crying? And what took you so long?" she asked quietly.

"Because I never thought I'd hear those words come from you. And because I wanted to hear you say them again, I was afraid I wasn't hearing you correctly" he told her, his heart beating rapidly.

She hit his arm, "I've been freezing my ass off out here just so you can hear me say again and again that I love you?" she asked him, smirking.

He smiled, brushing a piece of hair from her face, then felt her shiver beneath him. Quickly, he took his jacket off, wrapping it around her. The whistle blew again, they had 30 seconds.

"You have to go" she whispered.

"I know" he said sadly, looking towards the train. She turned his face towards her again, "I'll be here when you get back" she told him.

He smiled, "You'll still love me? You know, I don't give exchanges or refunds" he said.

"James, I don't want any exchange or refund, you twat. I want you!" she told him.

His grin became larger, "I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing you say that" he said, leaning down and kissing her again. Sirius banged on the window. The two of them broke apart, realizing that there were people there. Sirius pointed to his watch, "You have like 10 seconds! Get on the train!" he yelled. James turned back to Lily, his eyes wide, then kissed her quickly before jumping on the train, standing in the door. Just in time, as the wheels started moving. Lily walked beside the train, yelling at him.

"Lily, I love you" he yelled to her.

She smiled, "I know. I'll see you when you get back!" she yelled back. He smiled at her, turning to head inside.

"MR. POTTER!" she yelled, stopping at the edge of the forest. He stuck his head back out of the door.

"I love you!" she yelled to him. She could see his large grin even in the distance. Lily watched the train speed down the tracks, pulling James's large coat closer to her. She sighed, smiling to herself. She didn't know if she would ever tire of the feeling of being completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy. And this time, she was never going to let go of it.

That's it! The end! Thanks for the reviews, everyone! You have no idea how much they keep me going! Check out some of my other work! And of course, work to come!


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